When do you expect your DC to move out?

[Anonymous]

I don't expect my kids to move home after college and will encourage them to live away from home for smets in college. I think kids need to forge their own path. They can live cheaply in a group house if needed to save money. I am white and Jewish fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asian family here. My DS graduated in 2018 at the age of 21 and he is still living at home with us to save money. He wants to be able to put down 50% down payment for his first home, figures to be around 500K. He has been working for a FinTech company so he is making a lot of money in the past four years. He now has more than 500K in the bank and he is looking to buy a house so my guess is that he will be moving out in less than a year.

Does your son do anything besides saving $$? Travel, date, pursue a hobby. Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian family here. My DS graduated in 2018 at the age of 21 and he is still living at home with us to save money. He wants to be able to put down 50% down payment for his first home, figures to be around 500K. He has been working for a FinTech company so he is making a lot of money in the past four years. He now has more than 500K in the bank and he is looking to buy a house so my guess is that he will be moving out in less than a year.

Does your son do anything besides saving $$? Travel, date, pursue a hobby. Just curious.

Does son bring dates back to the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am moving out as soon as my youngest turns 18. That will complete 33 years of parenting, from #1 to #6. All of my children had to be ready to fly before 18, because they need to hit the ground running. You're free to go wherever and do whatever, so go do that and have fun at it. That's my policy. 18 is a legal adult.

Moving out of your own home? Are you getting a divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

What age are you expecting her to marry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

You don't see a point in learning independence and how to manage on your own ( with roommates perhaps? That's sad!

That’s quite the narrow white American viewpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 27 year old moved out at 24. My 25 year old has no interest in moving and she is welcomed to live at home until she sees fit to leave.

Ugh...I worry this where I'll end up. Not that your situation is bad, but unclear. My 9 (yes, nine!) yo has told me he wants to go to UMCP (we live in Moco) so he can live at home. So I've decided that I need to make this a home that they enjoy - but not enough to stay as an adult...

What your 9 yo says and what your 18 yo will say will likely be quite different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No independent and healthy young adult want to live at home, no matter how much they love their parents.

This is an American WASP cultural phenomenon. Around the world, people live at home and save money to start their married life. There is nothing good about being poor or financially strapped, especially in this country. If you can get a financial leg up in life then it sets you up to accumulate wealth.

However, we have to understand that many older Americans cannot afford to keep their kids at home and provide that kind financial help either. They are broke too and barely hanging on. They want their kids earning by 18 and out of the house. They do not have the deep pockets to pay for college, let them live rent free in their home after college etc.

When they do let their adult children live with them they ask for rent and grocery money. This is a function of their financial situation and not the function of being American. Being American just lets them be a non-supportive parent without ridicule from others. This is cultural abandonment of their children.

If you have so much money, gift a house, instead of letting them stay in their childhood bedroom.

DP. Let's say it costs 500K to purchase a condo. I am going to give my kid 250K and they need to come up with 250K to purchase the condo. Where I came from in Asia, we paid everything in cash and no loan. I want my kid to have skin in the game and be responsible. My kid graduated with a CS degree so saving up 250K will take three years or less (his salary is 220k/year) and he is not responsible for rent, food and utilities. Once he has 250K, I'll give him 250K and tell him "have a good life, come back and see mom and dad once in a while". That's how you teach financial responsibility and financial freedom.

I lived at home with my parents until I got married at the age of 33. I invested all of my earnings into investment portfolios between the age of 22 and 33. By the time, I got married, I had over 5M+ and that allowed my wife to be a stay home full time.

Living at home for three years to build up a nest egg will not stunt your personal development.

There is ZERO chance a kid earning $220k will be living at home with me. Also, hth would it take 3 years to save $250k on that salary if the only thing they pay for is clothing? Finally, why does a kid need to buy a condo outright? That’s poor financial management. Finally, finally, your kid will have less than you because you lived at home for longer. Why can’t he stay and gather his cool $5m? I truly hope you and your kid donate money to charity. Because not everyone can teach their kid that twisted version financial responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Once they can support themselves. Which I presume to be when they are done with college/grad school. In the DMV housing market, I would be fine having a kid live with us an extra year or two to save money for a down payment. I’d probably do a “you pay us rent, and when you move out, you get the money back for a down payment” deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 27 year old moved out at 24. My 25 year old has no interest in moving and she is welcomed to live at home until she sees fit to leave.

Ugh...I worry this where I'll end up. Not that your situation is bad, but unclear. My 9 (yes, nine!) yo has told me he wants to go to UMCP (we live in Moco) so he can live at home. So I've decided that I need to make this a home that they enjoy - but not enough to stay as an adult...

What your 9 yo says and what your 18 yo will say will likely be quite different.

+1. My oldest has some anxiety and asked around that age what colleges he could attend and still live at home. He ended up in college 8 hours from home.

[Anonymous]

As soon as they'll graduate from college and have a full-time job. If they're not in college...have them work full time somewhere and they need to move out/live with roommates or rent a basement somewhere.

[Anonymous]

My sister got engaged to a wonderful man from an Italian family. He had never lived on his own. He didn't know how to work the dishwasher, washer/dryer--he didn't cook, he basically was taken care of by his mother. (They're American, by the way--three generations at least in the US). My sister made him move out of his mother's house and they bought a place together and she insisted he learn how to care for himself and the house. Took two years. FYI--she still does most of the work, but at least he knows how to run the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't expect my kids to move home after college and will encourage them to live away from home for smets in college. I think kids need to forge their own path. They can live cheaply in a group house if needed to save money. I am white and Jewish fwiw.

I feel the same and am the same race/ethnicity. I'm a millennial and graduated college in the '08 recession. I still managed to never live at home again after sophomore year of college and was not reliant on my parents' money (they didn't really have much to give me anyway). I was dirt poor and had a ton of student debt, shared an apartment with three roommates, didn't have a car and took public transit everywhere, and worked while in undergrad and law school to keep myself alive. I learned self-reliance and fiscal discipline and I expect my children to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully never!!! I hope they stay as long as they want, and when the move stay close by! I’m Hispanic, DH is Arab so we’re cool with kids home forever

this is odd as sh!t to me. Why? don't you want alone time with hubby?

[Anonymous]

I hope mine move out after college. We live in the burbs of major city (not DMV), and I don’t want my kids to be trapped here. They’ve lived in our home and town since early elementary school, and they’re hungry to see and experience more!

So for all of those insisting that living at home is best until marriage, well that’s fine for you. But many of us have kids who are adventurous, curious and ready to leave the nest.