Is it a status symbol to marry young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

23?????!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

23?????!!!!!!

A lot of their similarly aged friends will be getting a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this trend stems from watching so many 35+women struggle with fertility, healthy children and the energy to be a present parent. I had my kid late many younger women ask me about my experience. I tell the truth and explain that I had a premature baby who spent months in the hospital. I tell them that I have very little energy to chase after a 7 year old, work full time and deal with mid life changes. Plus many of the people who would help raise the kid are old or dead (grandparents, aunts and uncles). Most people over 35 must pay thousands for IVF. Even if insurance covers it, the damage it does to the woman's body and to the baby are just too much to stress about.

The only benefit is that I have more money which ultimately goes to hire more help and take more vacations because I am so tired.


If I knew that my parenting years would have been such a challenge, I would have had kids in my late 20s and early 30s.

I agree with this in general. I would advise a younger woman to get married in mid to upper 20’s and finish having kids by mid 30’s (assuming you want no more than 2 kids). I think this is a compromise between too early and too late. There are greater risks to maternal and kids health will later pregancies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

I tend to disagree. I come from a UMC/wealthy skewing background and kind of an insular community. It is absolutely the kind of environment where it’s very much expected to get married anywhere between 22-28. Anything older than that, particularly for girls, starts to be viewed as harder to solve for. Expected to meet spouse in college or few years after. It’s a pretty short window. I got married at 27 and was the last of my close friends- even friends who met their spouses after I did dated for shorter periods of time before getting engaged. It’s definitely a status symbol. And similarly a status symbol in my husbands background, albeit at an older age- most of his friends and his siblings friends get married between 28-32. Don’t think you can group UMC or wealthy into any specific trends in this front, beyond decidedly not getting married at 18.

[Anonymous]

I can agree with the above post, but definitely not under any circumstance in early to mid 20’s. No, no, no

[Anonymous]

In my community most girls are married by the time they are 30. Everyone has a career and lives separately from their parents. I got married at 24, I had a masters, a job with a large consulting firm and was saving for a downpayment. I guess it all depends on how driven you are in life. Some people cannot figure it out at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my community most girls are married by the time they are 30. Everyone has a career and lives separately from their parents. I got married at 24, I had a masters, a job with a large consulting firm and was saving for a downpayment. I guess it all depends on how driven you are in life. Some people cannot figure it out at 40.

I don’t think your anecdotal story is good criteria for suggesting 24 year old should marry. Educated or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community most girls are married by the time they are 30. Everyone has a career and lives separately from their parents. I got married at 24, I had a masters, a job with a large consulting firm and was saving for a downpayment. I guess it all depends on how driven you are in life. Some people cannot figure it out at 40.

I don’t think your anecdotal story is good criteria for suggesting 24 year old should marry. Educated or not.

Not OP but likely she is saying if you want to marry and have your act together, you can do it whenever you want, there is no right or wrong time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my community most girls are married by the time they are 30. Everyone has a career and lives separately from their parents. I got married at 24, I had a masters, a job with a large consulting firm and was saving for a downpayment. I guess it all depends on how driven you are in life. Some people cannot figure it out at 40.

I don’t think your anecdotal story is good criteria for suggesting 24 year old should marry. Educated or not.

Not OP but likely she is saying if you want to marry and have your act together, you can do it whenever you want, there is no right or wrong time.

Point taken. Some could say it implies getting married at such a young age may work, but she leaves out that it’s not likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

23?????!!!!!!

Try to get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can agree with the above post, but definitely not under any circumstance in early to mid 20’s. No, no, no

What do you mean? You’re going to tell your 25 year old they can’t get married? Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

23?????!!!!!!

Try to get out more.

Getting out more is exactly what a 23 should be doing. Certainly not getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can agree with the above post, but definitely not under any circumstance in early to mid 20’s. No, no, no

What do you mean? You’re going to tell your 25 year old they can’t get married? Good luck with that.

They did not and were smart enough to know it’s not good judgement. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone marries with “status symbol” as the reason. My DD is getting married relatively young at 23 but it’s because she found the right guy and they both have 6 figure careers and we can afford a wedding. A lot of their similar aged friends are also marrying. I don’t think it’s status symbol so much as being at the right place in life and that does involve having a good job.

23?????!!!!!!

Try to get out more.

Getting out more is exactly what a 23 should be doing. Certainly not getting married.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

A bad marriage is a bad marriage, no matter when you got married. Age helps with maturity but age of maturity is different for every one. Life experience doesn’t help much as second and third marriages are more likely to end in divorce.