Both partners have high level jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most accomplished men and now women with demanding careers prefer SAHP not because they can’t afford daycare or cleaning service but because they need someone to run their lives while they climb professional ladder.

Behind most successful and ambitious individuals, there are low ambition and supportive spouses keeping them sane by sharing lion’s share of real life. Some are low ambition to begin with but most compromise and step up to become the pillar their family needs.

This is not my experience, but maybe it is a generational difference? In my peer group, everyone has a career. We're in our late thirties and friendships go back to college, law and business school in our case, so it is a high achieving group. Not one stay at home spouse in my social circle. In my marriage, we just make it work. There are tradeoffs and schedule conflicts, but we both love our family and like our work, and neither of us wants to give either up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If ambitious men does have supportive wives, they tend to find that support from another woman in their proximity, usually a co-worker.

wrong.

If "ambitious" men do not support and SHOW thanks to their wives doing everything (working, household mgmt, kid mgmt, family schedule), they end up divorced with young kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most accomplished men and now women with demanding careers prefer SAHP not because they can’t afford daycare or cleaning service but because they need someone to run their lives while they climb professional ladder.

Behind most successful and ambitious individuals, there are low ambition and supportive spouses keeping them sane by sharing lion’s share of real life. Some are low ambition to begin with but most compromise and step up to become the pillar their family needs.

This is not my experience, but maybe it is a generational difference? In my peer group, everyone has a career. We're in our late thirties and friendships go back to college, law and business school in our case, so it is a high achieving group. Not one stay at home spouse in my social circle. In my marriage, we just make it work. There are tradeoffs and schedule conflicts, but we both love our family and like our work, and neither of us wants to give either up.

You are right, it’s likely generational difference also economic and social pressure to have a job is intense.