Both partners have high level jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its easier if no travel or shifts are involved. A dermatologist and a cardiac interventionist can make it work but two of the same can’t without short sticking children or marriage.

My bil and his wife both have high powered jobs involving travel and three kids. They have a lot of help but don’t appear to be short changing anyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it. Finance and law.
Two nannies (day time and evening). Weekly housekeeper. Groceries delivered. I work from home 3-4 days a week ever since the pandemic and will do so indefinitely. Our marriage isn't perfect but I don't think it's because we both work. We both show up at most sports practices and every game/performance/conference. We can do it because we're both in a place in our careers where we control our schedules.

How much do you both make?

HHI is over $1m.

OP here - we wouldn't be close to $1 million. More like $550K guaranteed?

[Anonymous]

I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it. Finance and law.
Two nannies (day time and evening). Weekly housekeeper. Groceries delivered. I work from home 3-4 days a week ever since the pandemic and will do so indefinitely. Our marriage isn't perfect but I don't think it's because we both work. We both show up at most sports practices and every game/performance/conference. We can do it because we're both in a place in our careers where we control our schedules.

How much do you both make?

HHI is over $1m.

OP here - we wouldn't be close to $1 million. More like $550K guaranteed?

I'm the PP. $550k guaranteed would be fine! We are taking care of my in-laws and we have other expenses that you are unique to our situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

DP here, but you don't outsource childcare, you outsource the things around childcare like cleaning, laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You get the evening and night time with your kids to really be with your kids without all the distraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

DP here, but you don't outsource childcare, you outsource the things around childcare like cleaning, laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You get the evening and night time with your kids to really be with your kids without all the distraction.

OP here - right now I work full time as does my DH. But I have a pretty relaxed, flexible job. If I took a new job the first 6 months to a year would definitely not be as flexible since I am proving myself and don't have the political capital like I do in my current job. I would assume I would need to outsource more grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc. Not when I spend time with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people flaunt how well they can do it but announce divorce within 5-10 years and tell how difficult it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

DP here, but you don't outsource childcare, you outsource the things around childcare like cleaning, laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You get the evening and night time with your kids to really be with your kids without all the distraction.

Um, what? People outsource the care for babies, toddlers, preschoolers. People outsource the care for their kids before and after school. One of the previous posters was talking about having two nannies who could work day and night. Some people have help on weekends to take care of kids and take them to activities.

The whole nonsense about being "really present" is just cope. The people who have strangers taking care of the kids for 90% of waking hours are not worried about being "really present" for the kids. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

DP here, but you don't outsource childcare, you outsource the things around childcare like cleaning, laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You get the evening and night time with your kids to really be with your kids without all the distraction.

Um, what? People outsource the care for babies, toddlers, preschoolers. People outsource the care for their kids before and after school. One of the previous posters was talking about having two nannies who could work day and night. Some people have help on weekends to take care of kids and take them to activities.

The whole nonsense about being "really present" is just cope. The people who have strangers taking care of the kids for 90% of waking hours are not worried about being "really present" for the kids. Lol.

Good point

[Anonymous]

One of you has to sacrifice. Unless you want your kids raised by nannie’s and day care workers.

There are only 24 hours in a day. Do the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its easier if no travel or shifts are involved. A dermatologist and a cardiac interventionist can make it work but two of the same can’t without short sticking children or marriage.

My bil and his wife both have high powered jobs involving travel and three kids. They have a lot of help but don’t appear to be short changing anyone!

Appear and actual are two different things. Nobody knows inside stories unless there is a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

Because kids are also a status symbol, a must have for an ideal story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people have kids and then outsource 90% of the childcare to strangers.

DP here, but you don't outsource childcare, you outsource the things around childcare like cleaning, laundry, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You get the evening and night time with your kids to really be with your kids without all the distraction.

Most people hardly get 2-3 waking hours a day, if they travel then even less.

[Anonymous]

The senior women I work with have live-in nanny/housekeeper for their school age kids. They eat dinner with their kids most nights and go to sports competitions, but they don’t drive their kids around or make dinner. They don’t clean their own houses or keep them stocked with food and household items. They don’t shop - they choose outfits a stylist sends them. They don’t decorate their house, they choose items a decorator suggests. They eat pre-made lunches from meal delivery services.

They literally just work and spend time with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The senior women I work with have live-in nanny/housekeeper for their school age kids. They eat dinner with their kids most nights and go to sports competitions, but they don’t drive their kids around or make dinner. They don’t clean their own houses or keep them stocked with food and household items. They don’t shop - they choose outfits a stylist sends them. They don’t decorate their house, they choose items a decorator suggests. They eat pre-made lunches from meal delivery services.

They literally just work and spend time with their kids.

How much are these women making? My sister makes $800-$1 million a year and isn’t doing any of this. She drives them to school every day and picks them up every day. Makes dinner and drives them to gymnastics. Things are getting a little more hectic now that Covid restrictions have ended but she is just looking for an after school babysitter. Her kids are 8 and 10.