Can gray hair be bad ass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have complimented me on my gray hair. They never complimented me on my highlighted blonde/brown hair (professionally done, looked great).

Men compliment my grandma because she is petite and cute and high energy, and she dresses beautifully and genuinely makes people feel good.

But none of those men find her sexy.

Men her own age don't find her to be sexy? And how do you know this?

This thread has taken a bad turn.

OP, I still say that gray done well (professionally cut and styled) can be bad ass.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

I know a few older women who look terrible with brown hair. It’s clearly fake and they absolutely do not look better coloring their hair. At some point you need to embrace the gray or look like a clown.

... or get a better dye job??

[Anonymous]

At a certain point, dying your hair makes you look older. I have never dyed my hair and I like the way the streaks of grey look in my light brown/dark blonde hair (I'm 60). 2 of my older sisters went natural recently and I think they look younger. There is not as much of a contrast between their aging face and hair. Do what you want to do but I like grey hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL dyed her hair chestnut brown for our wedding and looked unbelievable -- easily 10 years younger and radiant. She went straight back to gray afterward and looks old and tired again. My mother dyes her hair using a box, it takes maybe one hour a month and she spends 10 dollars. She says , and I agree, that a woman shouldn't go gray until she is totally white. At that point it looks dignified. But the salt and pepper look on a woman is hideous.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to hair color. It's about matching skin tone. Ask a professional. You hair color is supposed to compliment your skin tone, not work against it making you look pale, or just off.

Some people look beautiful with gray hair and others do not. It's the same with color. If you try to pull off a blonde that doesn't compliment your skin tone it won't be flattering.

Each person still has the right to color or not--whatever works for them. No absolutes. It just doesn't work that way.

Most don't.

You sound so dim with your straw man constructions: "each person still has the right to color or not." Of course they have the right to color or not. That isn't the topic here.

I am guessing you don't have the kind of job where a woman's appearance matters in this way, though. You choose to believe that if you aren't bothered by others' negative perception of your gray hair, everything is OK! Actually, though, it matters, professionally speaking, for many women. Being happy with yourself is great, but even you have to acknowledge that the way you choose to present yourself to the world influences the way others treat you, to an extent.

You might be surprised at the title I hold. The way you, PP, present yourself (calling others dim and making belittling remarks) is far from professional in this woman's eyes.

Nope. I can tell.

You appear to be arguing that harsh judgement of women is wrong, and therefore one should disregard it because it isn't "nice" and makes you feel bad. Can you really not see that you are introducing a separate issue rather than responding to the one I introduced? (That's a rhetorical question: I don't think you can).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

I know a few older women who look terrible with brown hair. It’s clearly fake and they absolutely do not look better coloring their hair. At some point you need to embrace the gray or look like a clown.

... or get a better dye job??

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

I know a few older women who look terrible with brown hair. It’s clearly fake and they absolutely do not look better coloring their hair. At some point you need to embrace the gray or look like a clown.

... or get a better dye job??

+1

Wait? Do you really think that people can't tell you dye your hair? That we can't see the gray/white hair peeking out within a week of the dye job? You can't see it but we do.

[Anonymous]

Some people are clearly terrified of aging. I don’t want to hide in a corner defending a botched dye job. I’m not afraid to embrace my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a certain point, dying your hair makes you look older. I have never dyed my hair and I like the way the streaks of grey look in my light brown/dark blonde hair (I'm 60). 2 of my older sisters went natural recently and I think they look younger. There is not as much of a contrast between their aging face and hair. Do what you want to do but I like grey hair.

At a certain point, I agree. But that certain point to which you start looking older with dyed hair vs gray is not under 40. Likely not under 50 either. 50-60, depending on your natural color and how gray is coming in, I think this is the time to start transition to partially gray/letting natural color through. 60+ give up total gray coverage. After 60 trying to achieve 100% gray opaque coverage is aging

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a certain point, dying your hair makes you look older. I have never dyed my hair and I like the way the streaks of grey look in my light brown/dark blonde hair (I'm 60). 2 of my older sisters went natural recently and I think they look younger. There is not as much of a contrast between their aging face and hair. Do what you want to do but I like grey hair.

At a certain point, I agree. But that certain point to which you start looking older with dyed hair vs gray is not under 40. Likely not under 50 either. 50-60, depending on your natural color and how gray is coming in, I think this is the time to start transition to partially gray/letting natural color through. 60+ give up total gray coverage. After 60 trying to achieve 100% gray opaque coverage is aging

I guess I was lucky, didn't start seeing gray until my mid 50s. Not sure how I would have felt if I went gray early but I'm very low maintenance so I don't think I would have dyed my hair either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally grey here. White actually. The most common compliment I receive -- "I wish I had the guts"

Do you really take that as a compliment? Because they're saying "I wish I had the guts to be lazy and look terrible and not care."

You've clearly never seen a snazzy woman with gray hair.

No, not really. Sorry, but no, I haven't.

This has to be the same negative poster posting again and again. Seriously, sweetie. Get some help. Angry and insecure is no way to go through life. I’ve seen lots of women with stunning gray or partially gray hair. I’m sure you are beautiful as well. But outward beauty doesn’t really matter when you are so ugly inside. You really need to think about why you are so unkind to complete strangers.

I think brutal honesty on this board is the kindest thing. People come to anonymous boards and not to their friends because they want the truth. There is a special circle of hell reserved for women like you who refuse to give the truth when asked, but who insist, in honeyed tones, that whatever it is looks great.

Some people use "honesty" as a reason to be hurtful. PP, I want my friends to tell me how they really feel when I ask them for their opinion. However, if I cut, color or let my hair go naturally gray and *I* like it then I don't want to know (or to be told) if they hate it on me. The way I see it, it's my hair and I'm the one that has to feel good about it. Think it over... if we ask 100 people about your hair and a certain percentage tells you that it isn't flattering and you need to change it, would you???? Why change something about yourself to make another person like it? This makes no sense to me.

Yes, actually, if 90 out of a 100 people told me that my hair wasn't flattering, I would change it. For sure. Most women would, I think.

And my point is that the vast majority of people do NOT find gray hair attractive on women. Your friends won't tell you this, but anonymous posters will. When I ask questions on this site, I do it because I value the honest (sometimes harsh) responses. And that is why I give honest responses myself.

I do not tell women I know in real life that their gray is aging them in an unattractive way.

I know a few older women who look terrible with brown hair. It’s clearly fake and they absolutely do not look better coloring their hair. At some point you need to embrace the gray or look like a clown.

... or get a better dye job??

+1

Wait? Do you really think that people can't tell you dye your hair? That we can't see the gray/white hair peeking out within a week of the dye job? You can't see it but we do.

No. Exactly zero people said that. Try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have complimented me on my gray hair. They never complimented me on my highlighted blonde/brown hair (professionally done, looked great).

Men compliment my grandma because she is petite and cute and high energy, and she dresses beautifully and genuinely makes people feel good.

But none of those men find her sexy.

Men her own age don't find her to be sexy? And how do you know this?

This thread has taken a bad turn.

OP, I still say that gray done well (professionally cut and styled) can be bad ass.

The majority of men find fertile-looking women sexy. It is unfair and unfortunate that this does change as they get older, but no, I don't believe that the majority of men find a gray-haired granny particularly sexy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have complimented me on my gray hair. They never complimented me on my highlighted blonde/brown hair (professionally done, looked great).

Men compliment my grandma because she is petite and cute and high energy, and she dresses beautifully and genuinely makes people feel good.

But none of those men find her sexy.

Men her own age don't find her to be sexy? And how do you know this?

This thread has taken a bad turn.

OP, I still say that gray done well (professionally cut and styled) can be bad ass.

The majority of men find fertile-looking women sexy. It is unfair and unfortunate that this does change as they get older, but no, I don't believe that the majority of men find a gray-haired granny particularly sexy.

I’m pretty sure that woman who intentionally go gray give zero $hit$ about whether men think they are sexy. It makes them look old because they are old. Being old doesn’t necessarily mean looking frumpy.

Also, many women go gray prematurely and still look great.

Google UK fashion editor Sarah Harris.

Anna Wintour is an example of an old woman who looks like a fraud. Great dye job but far from looking natural. Why do you think she hides behind those big sunglasses? She’s a coward who’s terrified of looking in the mirror. Truly sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very much so

He is a very handsome guy with an excellent sense of style. He’s also a GUY.

[Anonymous]

I have seen very beautiful woman celebrities rock the gray look. But no one in person. Some guys. No women.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if Nancy Pelosi would have gone so far politically if she had white hair- which I’m fairly certain she does be now. Agism, especially among women, is real.