Why do some women always look perfect?

[Anonymous]

"Many of these are in the genetics lottery (eg, thick hair and brows)- I see so many older women of south Asian and middle eastern heritage that hit this lottery out the park."

I honestly mean no offense to this. I also think south Asian and middle Eastern women have great hair due to environmental factors. Hair coverings protect hair from the sun. No bleach or harsh dyes probably helps keep hair nice.

[Anonymous]

I had a college roommate like this — slim. Sleek, always polished looking — and it seemed to take her no time to pull it off but her mom was also like that so it came natural to her whereas even as my mom always looks great and tried to pass her style and tips along to me, I am kinda clutzy so even when I look nice I always spill something or snag something or fall or something so I just embraced who I am and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Spray tanner here. Nope, a very light application every other day. World of difference.

[Anonymous]

I sweat at the drop of a hat, and my hair starts turning frizzy, face shiny, clothes sticking to me, etc. My mother was the same way. I think it makes us look unkempt.

So I think a person’s natural sweat factor plays into this.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I really appreciate these responses, actually -- this has been a useful exercise for me.

To the PP who suggested looking into David Kibbe -- thank you! I read a whole thing on the body types last night and it made a lot of sense. I do think I'm at an age where I need to stop buying/wearing clothes just because I think they look good in general and be more selective about wearing things that just look really good on me. I've always been kind of eclectic in my style but maybe it's time to lock it down a bit and stop experimenting. I'm short on time these days anyway, so having a closet full of similar clothes that are all flattering sounds amazing to me. Not entirely sure how I'm going to go about it yet, but I really like this idea.

The other ideas, suggestions have been enlightening as well. I think I mostly just need a reliable routine. I think I feel pressure to "mix things up" a bit and I need to resist it. My hair looks good freshly washed or in a low pony or bun, so... why not just do that between washes and stop worrying about trying to have bouncy second and third day hair? I have good bone structure and there's no reason I need to wear my hair down every day.

With makeup, I think I need to step up the "finishes". I wear tinted moisturizer daily and have good skin tone and few lines, so I often don't wear anything else. But I think if I defined my brows and wore mascara and a little cream blush daily (none of which takes much time) I'd look a lot better. Not talking about doing a full face every day -- I think that would actually draw negative attention. But a little more effort is good.

Anyway, this has inspired me to be a bit more intentional about my appearance and maybe boost my self confidence a bit. I'm still hunting for the perfect shoes and bag (s/o thread coming!) but I feel like this stuff is within reach for me if I just make an effort. I'm never going to apply self-tanner on a regular basis (!) but some mascara and a more purposeful wardrobe, I can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry this offended people. I guess looking at Instagram did kind of take a hit on my self-esteem. I'm not talking about influencers or anything -- I don't follow or look at people like that. I just scrolled through and saw posts from old friends from grad school, my old roommate, etc. -- women my age with similar jobs, families, lifestyles. These women all have jobs and kids and I know they aren't spending hours staging Instagram photos. These were just candid shots from weekend trips to a brewery or summer vacation, not professional photos.

There was one photo of a friend with some of her extended family, and she just looked so... with it. Nothing special, her hair was pulled back and she wasn't wearing a ton of makeup. But she was wearing a jersey midi dress that looked phenomenal on her, and her shoes and purse just looked classic and perfect -- not overly catchy or too trendy, but cute and practical. It looked effortlessly pulled together and she looked fantastic even though it was clearly not a staged or professional photo. I wish I could pull that off. I feel like I would wind up looking like I was trying too hard. But it's not like she's much more beautiful than me or has a better body. I'd say we're about equal. She just looks stylish, and I feel like I never do.

I also don't tan at all and I feel like this works against me. I have good skin but I feel like it's hard to photograph. I look like a ghost in a lot of photos and even if I wear blush and/or bronzer I never have that "glow". I just looked washed out. Maybe I'm wearing the wrong colors? I don't know.

I feel like I want to step up my style but can't figure out how.

Gosh you are one of the saddest sounding people I’ve heard in a while. I have many insecurities but I never just stare at average looking women and be like ‘why do they look better than i do?’ Sure, when I look at literal super models I am like ‘wow now that person is on a different level’ but I never feel that way about women I know/see generally.

I guess bc I do think I’m pretty when I wear my favorite clothing and make up.

I really think you need to get out of this headspace. I would focus on friends and/or dating. You sound single. If you aren’t, I’m shocked.

You’re pretty PP, pretty ugly. Now go away, no one likes you.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is photogenic. I always look ugly in photos and actively avoid looking at pictures of myself. But in real life I'm cute enough. If you have a gay male friend I suggest you ask him what you can improve on. They tend to be brutally honest. Mine told me all my clothes were a size too big... And he was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you really have to know how to accentuate your best features.
I am 55 but have huge eyes, a great nose, DD naturals and I’m relatively tall. And super fit for my age.
Also: I have stick straight thinnish hair, and very pale skin with no eyelashes.
So, I make it easy: I keep my hair long and wear a halo to fill out the thickness. I use latisse for my eyelashes and I own a spray tan gun and a little tent that I put in my basement and I spray tan myself every other day. 10 minutes this extra stuff takes. Tops.
I’d love to wear what my friends do but I’d look like a clown. I accentuate my thin legs and play down the bit of the belly I have.
I don’t look good in pants, I do in dresses. So… know yourself.

Yep. I have like the reverse body of you. Slim torso, flat stomach. But I have shorter more muscular legs relative to my frame, so I dress accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All has to do with age. I dated a few truly beautiful “women” between 20-31. For fun over years on LinkedIn or Facebook take a peak. Most have not aged well at all.

BTW it is intermediating to date a really beautiful women. I recall I had this one girlfriend literally more beautiful than any model or movie star. Five foot nine inch, 120 pounds yet somehow a figure and perfect breads and beautiful blonde hair. I recall folks described her as a much better looking younger version of Christie Brinkley.

She did not work out and ate junk food.

Weird part I took her to two weddings and I could feel the bride wanted to rip her heart out. Even my old uncles were lining up to dance with her. I later took her to my company Xmas party and the posted photos pretty much had her in like 30 percent of shots. She did not work there. I have guys pretty much jump out of cars while I was walking with her.

I dated three girlfriends that level. They are that hot. One girl I dated pre internet got paid to go to clubs and restaurants. They actually pay her to eat and drink. I recall one club owner said 40-100 guys will come on extra if she just sat in front.

But all of them got old

You can’t be a real person, what is this insanity. You sound like Al Bundy reliving the time he scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba "Spare Tire" Dixon.

This weirdo creeper troll posts frequently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They spend more time on their looks AND they know their angles. If you have any good friends who are into photography, ask them to spend some time with you. They will tell you what works for you and from then on you'll always look better in the photos.

This- I have a friend who has always been naturally pretty. But she has aged and gained some weight like we all do. She is taller than average and has longer legs than most women which I think helps a lot. But she absolutely looks so much better in her photos, because she really knows exactly how to pose. She knows her angles. And of course only posts the really good pics.

I've been trying to learn mine but I'm still pretty unphotogenic. Like someone else here said- I'm pretty cute in real life, even for an older woman but I just don't photograph well most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All has to do with age. I dated a few truly beautiful “women” between 20-31. For fun over years on LinkedIn or Facebook take a peak. Most have not aged well at all.

BTW it is intermediating to date a really beautiful women. I recall I had this one girlfriend literally more beautiful than any model or movie star. Five foot nine inch, 120 pounds yet somehow a figure and perfect breads and beautiful blonde hair. I recall folks described her as a much better looking younger version of Christie Brinkley.

She did not work out and ate junk food.

Weird part I took her to two weddings and I could feel the bride wanted to rip her heart out. Even my old uncles were lining up to dance with her. I later took her to my company Xmas party and the posted photos pretty much had her in like 30 percent of shots. She did not work there. I have guys pretty much jump out of cars while I was walking with her.

I dated three girlfriends that level. They are that hot. One girl I dated pre internet got paid to go to clubs and restaurants. They actually pay her to eat and drink. I recall one club owner said 40-100 guys will come on extra if she just sat in front.

But all of them got old

My dog is a rock star like that. People literally pull over on the side of the road to meet him. I can't walk 10 feet without someone running over. He has been filmed by people all over the world so I know he must be on everyone's social media in foreign countries. Yesterday, some man asked if he could Facetime with my dog on a call to his daughter.

It's tough being so beautiful. Not a minute's peace.

DCUM, this is why I can't quit you.

SAME