Why do some women always look perfect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing I’ve done for my appearance is getting powder brows. Similar to micro blading, but more bold and defining. I also got a lip blush and have recently switched from getting lash extensions to using Lashify. I don’t wear any foundation or anything else on my face. It’s amazing waking up with a put together face and having it that way even on a lazy day.

I learned my colors from the artist who did my brows and created my pigment color for that. I buy classic and quality clothing that I have tailored.

I exercise, I stay hydrated, I eat reasonably well.

The place I fall short is my hair. It is curly and long and spends considerable time in a braid or bun, but if I get motivated to do it, it looks amazing.

Can you explain about the brows? And give a recommendation for where to get this done? My brows are my worst feature. Blonde and sparse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find I feel this may more often in the hot months, because I'm always damp and frizzy if I leave the house. So, no makeup or nice clothes. At least in the fall, winter, and early spring, I can walk my kid to school without arriving a sweaty mess, and any makeup I do wear will stay on my face throughout the day.

+1

Me too!

[Anonymous]

^ the woman above really nailed it with point 1. All of us COULD BE knockouts if we had those resources to devote to it. We really could. But since we don’t have the ability to invest everything in our looks, we have two realistic options; above average or average. And even then the only thing separating the two is the amount of effort you can or will put toward it. I am above average, not knockout, but I put work into that that, if I didn’t, would put me FIRMLY in average lol

[Anonymous]

I am 50 and in the dishelved camp (if I put in effort I am good/fine). Here is what I have noticed make a difference in looking every day polished at my age:

Thick straight hair
Thick dark brows and lashes
Clear skin
Straight white teeth
Polished nails, I prefer not too long
Trim and/or athletic build
On the taller side
Innate sense of style - Fewer, higher quality. On trendy wardrobe pieces, in particular nice shoes and bag

Many of these are in the genetics lottery (eg, thick hair and brows)- I see so many older women of south Asian and middle eastern heritage that hit this lottery out the park. Some are achievable with minimal but consistent effort (eg, nice nails - don’t bite or pick, get semi regular manicures or DIY, keep hands moisturized- this doesn’t take a lot of money or time but you need to do it regularly). Others are achievable with a lot of consistent effort and money (eg, keeping hair regularly colored and cut, getting or doing blow outs regularly and maintaining with dry shampoo etc in between). And the last piece - which is the elusive one for many (personally I lost the genetics lottery, too- haha), is an innate sense of style. I really don’t know how to learn that piece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry this offended people. I guess looking at Instagram did kind of take a hit on my self-esteem. I'm not talking about influencers or anything -- I don't follow or look at people like that. I just scrolled through and saw posts from old friends from grad school, my old roommate, etc. -- women my age with similar jobs, families, lifestyles. These women all have jobs and kids and I know they aren't spending hours staging Instagram photos. These were just candid shots from weekend trips to a brewery or summer vacation, not professional photos.

There was one photo of a friend with some of her extended family, and she just looked so... with it. Nothing special, her hair was pulled back and she wasn't wearing a ton of makeup. But she was wearing a jersey midi dress that looked phenomenal on her, and her shoes and purse just looked classic and perfect -- not overly catchy or too trendy, but cute and practical. It looked effortlessly pulled together and she looked fantastic even though it was clearly not a staged or professional photo. I wish I could pull that off. I feel like I would wind up looking like I was trying too hard. But it's not like she's much more beautiful than me or has a better body. I'd say we're about equal. She just looks stylish, and I feel like I never do.

I also don't tan at all and I feel like this works against me. I have good skin but I feel like it's hard to photograph. I look like a ghost in a lot of photos and even if I wear blush and/or bronzer I never have that "glow". I just looked washed out. Maybe I'm wearing the wrong colors? I don't know.

I feel like I want to step up my style but can't figure out how.

Gosh you are one of the saddest sounding people I’ve heard in a while. I have many insecurities but I never just stare at average looking women and be like ‘why do they look better than i do?’ Sure, when I look at literal super models I am like ‘wow now that person is on a different level’ but I never feel that way about women I know/see generally.

I guess bc I do think I’m pretty when I wear my favorite clothing and make up.

I really think you need to get out of this headspace. I would focus on friends and/or dating. You sound single. If you aren’t, I’m shocked.

[Anonymous]

Hilarious thing I’ve noticed on DCUM beauty posts:

You guys think nails matter to appearance.

Sure if your nails are totally busted, then yes, needs to be fixed. But otherwise, literally doesn’t change a thing.

So odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry this offended people. I guess looking at Instagram did kind of take a hit on my self-esteem. I'm not talking about influencers or anything -- I don't follow or look at people like that. I just scrolled through and saw posts from old friends from grad school, my old roommate, etc. -- women my age with similar jobs, families, lifestyles. These women all have jobs and kids and I know they aren't spending hours staging Instagram photos. These were just candid shots from weekend trips to a brewery or summer vacation, not professional photos.

There was one photo of a friend with some of her extended family, and she just looked so... with it. Nothing special, her hair was pulled back and she wasn't wearing a ton of makeup. But she was wearing a jersey midi dress that looked phenomenal on her, and her shoes and purse just looked classic and perfect -- not overly catchy or too trendy, but cute and practical. It looked effortlessly pulled together and she looked fantastic even though it was clearly not a staged or professional photo. I wish I could pull that off. I feel like I would wind up looking like I was trying too hard. But it's not like she's much more beautiful than me or has a better body. I'd say we're about equal. She just looks stylish, and I feel like I never do.

I also don't tan at all and I feel like this works against me. I have good skin but I feel like it's hard to photograph. I look like a ghost in a lot of photos and even if I wear blush and/or bronzer I never have that "glow". I just looked washed out. Maybe I'm wearing the wrong colors? I don't know.

I feel like I want to step up my style but can't figure out how.

Gosh you are one of the saddest sounding people I’ve heard in a while. I have many insecurities but I never just stare at average looking women and be like ‘why do they look better than i do?’ Sure, when I look at literal super models I am like ‘wow now that person is on a different level’ but I never feel that way about women I know/see generally.

I guess bc I do think I’m pretty when I wear my favorite clothing and make up.

I really think you need to get out of this headspace. I would focus on friends and/or dating. You sound single. If you aren’t, I’m shocked.

Nope. You’re sadder. Bullying a woman that you don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious thing I’ve noticed on DCUM beauty posts:

You guys think nails matter to appearance.

Sure if your nails are totally busted, then yes, needs to be fixed. But otherwise, literally doesn’t change a thing.

So odd.

Imagine you walk into an elegant black tie gala. The champagne is flowing, the food delicious and the entire vibe divine. You would never said, wow, yeah uplighting really made this room! Or wow, the vibe was totally created by those Mercury glass votives arranged in groups of 3. You would just pick up on the overall effect and not necessarily realize which details went into that.

Same with nails.

[Anonymous]

I think you really have to know how to accentuate your best features.
I am 55 but have huge eyes, a great nose, DD naturals and I’m relatively tall. And super fit for my age.
Also: I have stick straight thinnish hair, and very pale skin with no eyelashes.
So, I make it easy: I keep my hair long and wear a halo to fill out the thickness. I use latisse for my eyelashes and I own a spray tan gun and a little tent that I put in my basement and I spray tan myself every other day. 10 minutes this extra stuff takes. Tops.
I’d love to wear what my friends do but I’d look like a clown. I accentuate my thin legs and play down the bit of the belly I have.
I don’t look good in pants, I do in dresses. So… know yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you really have to know how to accentuate your best features.
I am 55 but have huge eyes, a great nose, DD naturals and I’m relatively tall. And super fit for my age.
Also: I have stick straight thinnish hair, and very pale skin with no eyelashes.
So, I make it easy: I keep my hair long and wear a halo to fill out the thickness. I use latisse for my eyelashes and I own a spray tan gun and a little tent that I put in my basement and I spray tan myself every other day. 10 minutes this extra stuff takes. Tops.
I’d love to wear what my friends do but I’d look like a clown. I accentuate my thin legs and play down the bit of the belly I have.
I don’t look good in pants, I do in dresses. So… know yourself.

Omg, you spray tan every other day? That has to be bad for your health. Women are nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you really have to know how to accentuate your best features.
I am 55 but have huge eyes, a great nose, DD naturals and I’m relatively tall. And super fit for my age.
Also: I have stick straight thinnish hair, and very pale skin with no eyelashes.
So, I make it easy: I keep my hair long and wear a halo to fill out the thickness. I use latisse for my eyelashes and I own a spray tan gun and a little tent that I put in my basement and I spray tan myself every other day. 10 minutes this extra stuff takes. Tops.
I’d love to wear what my friends do but I’d look like a clown. I accentuate my thin legs and play down the bit of the belly I have.
I don’t look good in pants, I do in dresses. So… know yourself.

Omg, you spray tan every other day? That has to be bad for your health. Women are nuts

She has to look like Trump with that amount of spray tanning.

[Anonymous]

Find a flattering hairstyle that takes little time to maintain. Don't fight your hair or try to make it do something it doesn't want to.

Know what clothes flatter you and be on the lookout for items that fit that profile.

Maintain a good weight.

Pick a signature piece of jewelry that works with your style and stick with that.

Personally, I wear dresses almost exclusively. No need to mix and match outfits. Just put it on and you look instantly put together.

[Anonymous]

The pp that has the spray tan tent is exactly the sort of effort that very polished woman make. I’m the pp that had to become polished for a job. I am now an expert ln applying fake tan. I don’t have a tent but use mousse and a glove. It takes 5 minutes tops to apply but it does make a difference to how I look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious thing I’ve noticed on DCUM beauty posts:

You guys think nails matter to appearance.

Sure if your nails are totally busted, then yes, needs to be fixed. But otherwise, literally doesn’t change a thing.

So odd.

Imagine you walk into an elegant black tie gala. The champagne is flowing, the food delicious and the entire vibe divine. You would never said, wow, yeah uplighting really made this room! Or wow, the vibe was totally created by those Mercury glass votives arranged in groups of 3. You would just pick up on the overall effect and not necessarily realize which details went into that.

Same with nails.

Eh, I guess if you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you ever looked into stuff like getting your "colors done" (season color analysis or something of that ilk)? When you get your colors right, your skin can GLOW! That is what got me to look into it is seeing this older woman who just looked so glowy and put together. I asked her what her secret was and she said "Color Me Beautiful" back in the 80s. You might have to shop around for the right expert / method because the old Color Me Beautiful approach doesn't work for everyone (it didn't for me).

I also highly recommend understanding the lines of your body. This is way beyond "body type analysis" involving fruits. Look into David Kibbe and also a book called The Triumph of Individual Style, which uses art works to show you different body types and how to flatter them with different colors and lines.

From this kind of stuff I learned, for example, what type of pant leg / sleeve style to look for, how long my hair should be, or even how long my earrings and necklaces should be to best flatter my face and body shape. I also know where on the spectrum of color to shop: cool vs. warm, bright vs. muted, light vs. dark, and what kinds of prints I can wear well (size of print, round vs linear vs angular, etc.).

Between knowing my colors and knowing my lines, I've been able to streamline my wardrobe and shopping. My aim was not to be fashionable and to turn heads, but just to look decent and feel harmonious in my clothing. Now I can tell if I am in the wrong kind of thing because I actually feel awful in it. Certain colors deflate me or make me feel "hot" (temperature wise, lol) and certain cuts of clothing drag me down. OP, I hope this helps. It can be a really fun rabbit hole to fall into.

Thanks so much for this, PP. I just spent an hour Googling and reading David Kibbe stuff and found it incredibly helpful. Even ordered a few new things!