Nanny asking to leave early because she arrived early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

+1. Also, you don't want someone frustrated around your kid. This could be the difference between nanny actively engaging with your kid vs. keeping her in the stroller while she talks to other nannies in the park.

Oh, is that how it works? If OP doesn't sucomb to her nanny's demands, the nanny will intentionally do things to harm OP's kid?

It doesn't harm the kid to sit in a stroller. You seriously don't understand that it's human nature to half ass your work when you're pissed off at your boss? I'm not saying it's okay, but it's a reality everyone with childcare should keep in mind. A happy nanny puts her heart into her job. One who gets treated like a commodity indefinitely begins to act like one as well.

It doesn't sound like its really any skin off OPS back to accommodate this schedule change, she just doesn't want to be accommodating. And that's her right. But there are consequences to being rigid, and one of those consequences is that it will affect how your nanny views your family and this job.

Another reality is that nannies are in demand right now. OP needs her nanny more than her nanny needs her. OP is free to draw a hard line wherever she wants, and her nanny call easily tell her to shove it and have a new job by the end of the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

Bullshit.

The nanny accepted the job for certain hours and certain pay. She tried to change the terms almost immediately in a way that made it more inconvenient for her employer. That’s a pretty big red flag. I bet she got another offer that was closer to her house or otherwise easier. Since it was the first week she just quit. This kind of stuff happens. The solution isn’t to become a doormat, it’s to lay out clear expectations from the start. It’s far better to start strict and become more flexible as you build trust than to start flexible and build resentment as boundaries get trampled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

Hi nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

Bullshit.

The nanny accepted the job for certain hours and certain pay. She tried to change the terms almost immediately in a way that made it more inconvenient for her employer. That’s a pretty big red flag. I bet she got another offer that was closer to her house or otherwise easier. Since it was the first week she just quit. This kind of stuff happens. The solution isn’t to become a doormat, it’s to lay out clear expectations from the start. It’s far better to start strict and become more flexible as you build trust than to start flexible and build resentment as boundaries get trampled.

Call it whatever you want. OP decided to be rigid when she didn't have to be, over a mere half hour. Was it really worth losing her nanny over?

As a former nanny, I can't tell you how many times a parent hired me for a certain schedule only to realize they didn't build in travel time, or their hours shift. And if I was able to, I rolled with it.

OP decided to flex based on power she assumed she had, and it bit her in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

Hi nanny.

Witty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

Better you find out now than later. She knew the hours.

+1. If it hadn’t been the hours, it would have been something else. Good riddance.

You dodged a bullet. She would have been problematic for other reasons, too. Better now than later after the kids might be attached.

+3. I’m a pp who previously worked as a nanny so I often side with nanny’s in these threads. Not this time. You shouldn’t have to explain to an adult that when you are hired to work for specific hours you are expected to be present during those hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. You guys called it. Nanny said today she wanted to quit because I could not accomodste her change in schedule. I am so mad. I turned down all these other candidates and now I’m back to square 1.

I mean...she made it pretty clear this was important to her, and she could likely see that there was nothing really stopping you from accommodating her request. Why would she want to continue working for someone like that if she has other options? I really don't think you have anyone to be mad at but yourself. You took a gamble, thinking you had the power here, and you learned that you did not. Hopefully you'll be able to build a more mutually respectful relationship with the next person you hire.

Bullshit.

The nanny accepted the job for certain hours and certain pay. She tried to change the terms almost immediately in a way that made it more inconvenient for her employer. That’s a pretty big red flag. I bet she got another offer that was closer to her house or otherwise easier. Since it was the first week she just quit. This kind of stuff happens. The solution isn’t to become a doormat, it’s to lay out clear expectations from the start. It’s far better to start strict and become more flexible as you build trust than to start flexible and build resentment as boundaries get trampled.

Call it whatever you want. OP decided to be rigid when she didn't have to be, over a mere half hour. Was it really worth losing her nanny over?

As a former nanny, I can't tell you how many times a parent hired me for a certain schedule only to realize they didn't build in travel time, or their hours shift. And if I was able to, I rolled with it.

OP decided to flex based on power she assumed she had, and it bit her in the ass.

This isn’t a case of changed circumstances in an established nanny relationship where people have an investment in maintaining the working relationship and making accommodations. This was a nanny who agreed to certain working hours and then asked to change them on the spot her first day, asked again the second day, and then quit when she didn’t get her way. She never intended to work OP’s stated hours, she just said she would to get the job.

If you’re going to be upset with anyone here, be upset with the nanny for poor behavior that reflects poorly on the nannying profession, not the employer who held a reasonable line on the work hours she needed and was upfront about during the hiring process.

[Anonymous]

This is so bizarre. I worked an office job for years and always arrived early; drink coffee, check private e-mails, set up lunch date, etc. and then start working on time. I would just let her chill for a little. I don’t get this attitude towards your job at all.