Nanny asking to leave early because she arrived early

[Anonymous]

Employee transportation issues shouldn't be the employer's problem to solve. Why can't she stop at a coffee shop, take a walk, or any number of other activities to kill 30 minutes before the agreed-upon start of her work day?

[Anonymous]

If she is working an additional 30 minutes, you need to pay her. If you tell her not to start until 30 minutes later, she'll need to find something to do.

Or, if you're flexible, you can adjust the schedule. I am WAHM and am usually pretty flex with our nanny of 7 years. This flexibility has led to a better work environment for all and not having to cycle through new nannies all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She showed up on her second day early as well, and asked to change the schedule to the half hour earlier time because the trains work better for her that way. That earlier time isn’t great for me (baby is usually still napping then) and I told me as much and she said oh but the train schedule works better for me. I don’t strictly need her for the last half hour each days except MAYBE once a week- can i propose that as a compromise, we can do the schedule she proposed, but if I need the actual last half hour we originally agreed to on some day, she wil have to stay for that time and it will not be extra pay?

PP who advised you to be flexible but just read this and have changed my mind a bit because she is being unprofessional. She was hired with the understanding that she would work certain hours and her transportation issues are hers to work out. It sounds like you are starting to worry about her being available when you need her, despite establishing her work hours when she was hired, and that’s not fair to you. And the fact that this has come up right off the bat doesn’t bode well for her boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

+1. Also, you don't want someone frustrated around your kid. This could be the difference between nanny actively engaging with your kid vs. keeping her in the stroller while she talks to other nannies in the park.

[Anonymous]

OP, I used to nanny and this is absolutely not acceptable unless discussed and agreed upon in advance. Anyone who has worked a job with scheduled hours should know this. This is not you being an overly strict and unfair employer, this is a major red flag. Maybe she does not understand how jobs work but this would raise concerns for me about her abilities in other areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

+1. Also, you don't want someone frustrated around your kid. This could be the difference between nanny actively engaging with your kid vs. keeping her in the stroller while she talks to other nannies in the park.

Oh, is that how it works? If OP doesn't sucomb to her nanny's demands, the nanny will intentionally do things to harm OP's kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

+1. Also, you don't want someone frustrated around your kid. This could be the difference between nanny actively engaging with your kid vs. keeping her in the stroller while she talks to other nannies in the park.

Oh, is that how it works? If OP doesn't sucomb to her nanny's demands, the nanny will intentionally do things to harm OP's kid?

+1000
This is not OK.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her it’s not going to work and let her go with whatever severance you had agreed to. Her judgement is bad and she sounds really clueless:two things that should be dealbreakers for someone caring for kids. For example do you think this person has good judgement and responsible behavior/communication around covid? I doubt it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you have the ability to be flexible, and it sounds like you might if you're not working, then you should do it. Not just because it's the "nice" thing to do, but because being in your nanny's good graces is worth it's weight in gold. There might be a time when you need her to be flexible for some reason and she's not going to be inclined if there's no reciprocity. Flexibility is a two way street.

NP. This is my thought, too. I mean yes, technically she should show up at the expected time, as she would with any job, but if it doesn’t actually impact your own schedule or commitments then I’m not certain why you can’t be flexible from time to time.

+1. Also, you don't want someone frustrated around your kid. This could be the difference between nanny actively engaging with your kid vs. keeping her in the stroller while she talks to other nannies in the park.

Oh, is that how it works? If OP doesn't sucomb to her nanny's demands, the nanny will intentionally do things to harm OP's kid?

Obviously that's not ok. But how would you know? I've seen plenty of nannies on the playground that ignore their kids. Just pointing this out in case you decide to confront her. If it's foreseeable that she will be frustrated over this it might be better to let her go altogether.

[Anonymous]

Did she work the 1st 30 minutes?

[Anonymous]

I think you should decide whether you can — or want to — be flexible or not. In doing so, though, you’ll be setting the tone for the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being clear about having needing to have consistent hours. Ask yourself, though, what you want the Nanny to do at some point in the future if she’s watching your kids, you’re not home, and the clock says that it’s time for her to leave.
In your place, I’d probably discuss doing a trial period for at least a couple of weeks while she learns how reliable her transportation is likely to be. She made a request due to factors outside of her direct control. I think it’s fine for her to ask, and fine for you to be clear about your priorities and expectations.

[Anonymous]

I would explore hiring a new nanny, and let this one go once you have found someone who is a better fit for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I used to nanny and this is absolutely not acceptable unless discussed and agreed upon in advance. Anyone who has worked a job with scheduled hours should know this. This is not you being an overly strict and unfair employer, this is a major red flag. Maybe she does not understand how jobs work but this would raise concerns for me about her abilities in other areas.

+1. This is not appropriate for the vast majority of hourly jobs where the timing of your shift is important. I find it worrisome that this seemingly obvious point is being overlooked by her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I used to nanny and this is absolutely not acceptable unless discussed and agreed upon in advance. Anyone who has worked a job with scheduled hours should know this. This is not you being an overly strict and unfair employer, this is a major red flag. Maybe she does not understand how jobs work but this would raise concerns for me about her abilities in other areas.

+1. This is not appropriate for the vast majority of hourly jobs where the timing of your shift is important. I find it worrisome that this seemingly obvious point is being overlooked by her.

Exactly. Cashiers and waitresses navigate this all the time and a nanny unable to do so shouldn’t be left alone with young children.