Did my mom overstep with DS?
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Anonymous
| Backstory: We had been having some behavior issues with DS whenever it was time to get off the tablet, so we took the tablet away as a punishment. Over the weekend my mom offered to watch DS for the day so DH and I could have a day alone. We made it a point to tell her that he was grounded from electronics, explaining why, but mentioned he was allowed to watch a movie on the TV if she needed a break. At some point, she allowed him to play on her phone, because he let it slip that he played a game on the phone. We have dealt with DS, who is plenty old enough to know he shouldn’t have been playing on the phone. But what, if anything, should I do about my mom? For reference, she is the type to slyly pull one over and then play stupid, so I almost feel like she knew exactly what she was doing and wanted to be the Good Guy to DS. She’s also tech savvy and knows that phones fall under “electronics”, and I don’t think she was confused when I told her ‘no electronics’. It’s not the first time she’s pulled something like this. Should I be firm with her about this or leave it alone? |
Anonymous
| If your son is being grounded, don't have your mother babysit him. |
Anonymous
| Nothing. Seriously? What are you going to put her in a time out? You sound crazy. |
Anonymous
| Leave it alone. Rules are different when grandma is in charge. I say this as someone who used to be very uptight about this kind of thing—let it go. |
Anonymous
| Leave it alone. This is all in your son, who you say is old enough to know better. A full day of free babysitting and your child knowingly broke the rules? Choose your battles, coming down on your mom is not the battle. |
Anonymous
| I don't think it's fair to make grandma enforce consequences for issues between you and your child. |
Anonymous
+1. Beggars can't be choosers. Your only option would be not having your mom watch him again. Are you willing to go down that road? |
Anonymous
| "Be firm with her about this"? Sure, if you want to kiss the free babysitting goodbye. You would have been okay with him watching a movie; how is this that much worse? |
Anonymous
So she gets her mother to babysit for her but only if grandma gets to do whatever she wants?That makes no sense. I would mention it, for sure. OP's mother should respect the rules she sets for her own child, or you're right, the free babysitting will be kissed goodbye. I doubt the grandmother wants that, either. |
Anonymous
| You can't expect your mom to follow that when she's babysitting. You are so lucky to have someone to give you free babysitting. You need to let this one go. If it's so important to you that the consequences be enforced, stay home with your kid. Also, watch how you deal with your son because you could easily set up a dynamic where your son is secretive about what happens with Grandma and others if you punish him after he told you what happened. |
Anonymous
| No, you are overstepping with your mom. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I would be fine without her “babysitting”. We have a nanny who we can use for “babysitting”. This was grandma prompted, we didn’t ask for it. |
Anonymous
She needs to follow your rules. I don't even understand why that would be hard for her. It seems like a normal, mature approach -- "sorry, your mom said you can't have screens." How can any parent not understand this? |
Anonymous
Just become normal, op. It might take meds, but ask for them. |
Anonymous
|
I don't think your S "let slip" that he could play on the phone. I think HE knew exactly what he was doing.
Don't say anything to your mom. |