Did my mom overstep with DS?

[Anonymous]

This is my MIL exactly. We have had the conversation with her over and over and over again about how she needs to respect our rules. Nope, never changes anything. Or it does for like a month before she reverts.

Definitely talk with your mom about how she needs to support you and your parenting decisions and how this was undermining you. I'm not certain it will change things, but nothing is going to change if you don't try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your son is being grounded, don't have your mother babysit him.

Ditto! What are you going to do about your Mom? You’re going to thank her again for providing a day of free childcare. I have two young kids, but my God, get a grip!

What? Seriously? Why shouldn't OP be able to trust her own mother to be respectful of the rules? This is ridiculous. The kid was grounded from electronics -- not grounded from going anywhere. Couldn't grandma just watch the kid for a few hours without breaking the rules? Sounds like she needs to be grounded from watching him for a while!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my MIL exactly. We have had the conversation with her over and over and over again about how she needs to respect our rules. Nope, never changes anything. Or it does for like a month before she reverts.

Definitely talk with your mom about how she needs to support you and your parenting decisions and how this was undermining you. I'm not certain it will change things, but nothing is going to change if you don't try.

Repeat to yourself: Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, when you accept a favor, you do so knowing the outcome may not be perfect, to your liking.

You're entitle to feel any way you want but it's serves no purpose to dwell on this

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my MIL exactly. We have had the conversation with her over and over and over again about how she needs to respect our rules. Nope, never changes anything. Or it does for like a month before she reverts.

Definitely talk with your mom about how she needs to support you and your parenting decisions and how this was undermining you. I'm not certain it will change things, but nothing is going to change if you don't try.

Repeat to yourself: Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents....

And that's totally fine, but grandparents ARE parents, and they need to be respectful of their own children's wishes. It's one thing to spoil your grandkids with gifts and sweets. It's another to explicitly break a rule that your own child said is important to her. This is just plain disrespectful of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my MIL exactly. We have had the conversation with her over and over and over again about how she needs to respect our rules. Nope, never changes anything. Or it does for like a month before she reverts.

Definitely talk with your mom about how she needs to support you and your parenting decisions and how this was undermining you. I'm not certain it will change things, but nothing is going to change if you don't try.

Repeat to yourself: Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents. Grandparents are different from Parents....

And that's totally fine, but grandparents ARE parents, and they need to be respectful of their own children's wishes. It's one thing to spoil your grandkids with gifts and sweets. It's another to explicitly break a rule that your own child said is important to her. This is just plain disrespectful of the parents.

IMO OP is mad at the wrong person. The kid is the one who should get in trouble. He knew what his punishment was and he violated it. So I would double down on the kid and not say a word to Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your son is being grounded, don't have your mother babysit him.

Ditto! What are you going to do about your Mom? You’re going to thank her again for providing a day of free childcare. I have two young kids, but my God, get a grip!

What? Seriously? Why shouldn't OP be able to trust her own mother to be respectful of the rules? This is ridiculous. The kid was grounded from electronics -- not grounded from going anywhere. Couldn't grandma just watch the kid for a few hours without breaking the rules? Sounds like she needs to be grounded from watching him for a while!

+1

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my kids 24/7 since the middle of March, except for weekly trips to the grocery store and whatever time I can steal by locking the bathroom door. Quit yer b^%#tching and thank your lucky stars you have a mother and a nanny to watch your child! My god, woman, gratitude and grace is called for here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with my kids 24/7 since the middle of March, except for weekly trips to the grocery store and whatever time I can steal by locking the bathroom door. Quit yer b^%#tching and thank your lucky stars you have a mother and a nanny to watch your child! My god, woman, gratitude and grace is called for here.

+1 I can't believe how ungrateful OP is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my mother she couldn't spend one on one time with my kid if she couldn't follow my rules. Yes, it's nice of her to watch the kid, but not if she undermines my parenting in the process. And spending time with her grandkid is a gift to her, as well.

Oh Jesus. She let the kid play on her her phone. They weren’t smoking crack together. You people clearly need a break. Lighten up.

+1

All of you are so high strung! It doesn't undermined your parenting because it's grandma. My grandfather had an entire drawer of candy in the fridge that we just snacked on all day long when he watched us. We are all perfectly fine, healthy adults now. And I never argued with my mom that she should buy me lots of candy because grandpa let me have as much as I wanted at his house. I knew that going to my grandparents was like a vacation. And now that I have kids of my own I realize it was a vacation for my mom too!

[Anonymous]

Whenever my children are grounded they beg and plead to go to my mom’s house. Depending on the reasons why they are grounded I usually let them go. It brings joy to a otherwise. crappy situation knowing they want to go there and view her as a sanctuary. I know she will not enforce my rules, but she’s no pushover. This is what grandmas are for right.

[Anonymous]

You can’t always control other people. Keep your son home if you want to control the situation and make sure the terms of his grounding stay consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your son is being grounded, don't have your mother babysit him.

Ditto! What are you going to do about your Mom? You’re going to thank her again for providing a day of free childcare. I have two young kids, but my God, get a grip!

What? Seriously? Why shouldn't OP be able to trust her own mother to be respectful of the rules? This is ridiculous. The kid was grounded from electronics -- not grounded from going anywhere. Couldn't grandma just watch the kid for a few hours without breaking the rules? Sounds like she needs to be grounded from watching him for a while!

+1

No way. Grandma decides what she wants to enforce when she is watching DS. If you don’t like it, get someone else to watch him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I would be fine without her “babysitting”. We have a nanny who we can use for “babysitting”. This was grandma prompted, we didn’t ask for it.

Well, if you don’t need her....

Say it once. Mom, if I cannot trust you to follow our rules, we won’t be comfortable leaving you alone with kiddo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think your S "let slip" that he could play on the phone. I think HE knew exactly what he was doing.

Don't say anything to your mom.

+1. The boy is addicted and OP sounds like she's trying to blame others. I understand your frustration OP but you created this issue and you can't take it out on your mother.