My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding

[Anonymous]

In DC area. 200 people invited. Wedding inside a hotel ballroom. They have said already 100 people have said they will come. They are having special masks made for the happy hour that have a straw hole in them. But, no masks for dinner obviously? “Dancing boxes” with only one couple per box.
My 75 year old father is insistent on going and taking part in all activities. 70 year old mother undecided. Brother says he needs “closure on his engagement” and that a church wedding is a supposed requirement for his brides family. All of brides family is coming.
Am I nuts to be annoyed? I am in one of the states with high rise of cases, in high rise profession. I hate my parents are being put in this position. It’s causing serious familial drama and stress.

[Anonymous]

idiot is not mature enough to get married. he's going to kill a lot of people.

[Anonymous]

You can't control him, but you can control what you do. Nobody can make you go.

[Anonymous]

He and his fiancée can decide to hold the wedding.

No.
One.
Has.
To.
Attend.

An invitation is not a summons.

Make your choice, own your choice, live your choice.

[Anonymous]

What a groomzilla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He and his fiancée can decide to hold the wedding.

No.
One.
Has.
To.
Attend.

An invitation is not a summons.

Make your choice, own your choice, live your choice.

OP here. I am certainly leaning toward not going, but I am totally ticked they are putting people in this position to decide, and especially my parents who won’t miss their sons wedding- but are obviously at highest risk in this whole situation.

[Anonymous]

So remember that story out of Texas where the family had a birthday party and then everyone got COVID, including the two grandparents who then went into an ICU?

OP, you play the part of the brother (a doctor) and his wife who chose not to go because it was unsafe. They’re fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He and his fiancée can decide to hold the wedding.

No.
One.
Has.
To.
Attend.

An invitation is not a summons.

Make your choice, own your choice, live your choice.

OP here. I am certainly leaning toward not going, but I am totally ticked they are putting people in this position to decide, and especially my parents who won’t miss their sons wedding- but are obviously at highest risk in this whole situation.

OK, you're ticked. You are certainly entitled to your feelings.

However, your parents are entirely responsible for their own choices and decisions.

Unless he hog-ties them and throws them in the trunk of the limo, he cannot "put them" in any position.

[Anonymous]

How are they even allowed? Most venues are closed.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is selfish, and none of that sounds fun (dancing boxes?). Masks with holes in them will not work. And one can get married in a church without a huge reception.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t listening to reason. I hope you can get them to change their minds about participating.

[Anonymous]

What do you and your parents want him to do? Delay the wedding? Get married at the courthouse?

I think it is reasonable for your brother to decide to go ahead and get married. I also think it is reasonable for you and your parents not to attend. Why not go to the wedding ceremony (200 does not sound like that many in a church), and skip the reception?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you and your parents want him to do? Delay the wedding? Get married at the courthouse?

I think it is reasonable for your brother to decide to go ahead and get married. I also think it is reasonable for you and your parents not to attend. Why not go to the wedding ceremony (200 does not sound like that many in a church), and skip the reception?

Op here. If they are super intent on getting married on the original day, I would say small wedding with immediate family- okay. Celebrate next year or whenever sometime.

As it is, the church (in DC) is only allowing 10 people, so the ceremony will be streamed to the reception.

This whole thing makes me want to pull my hair out. I see news articles in the making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is selfish, and none of that sounds fun (dancing boxes?). Masks with holes in them will not work. And one can get married in a church without a huge reception.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t listening to reason. I hope you can get them to change their minds about participating.

OP here- of course I’m one of the only ones in healthcare but my dad in particular is not concerned about the risk. It is SO stressful and I would never forgive my brother if something happened to my parents.

[Anonymous]

Your parents are more likely to die in a car crash going to the grocery store than covid-19. I understand that you are afraid. Do not participate. It is okay, but it is not okay for you to be so controlling regarding your brother's major life event. If the church is only allowing 10 people (I assume your parents would be part of the 10), I don't see what the big deal is. Have them wear masks and sit at their own pew. They will not get covid during the ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is selfish, and none of that sounds fun (dancing boxes?). Masks with holes in them will not work. And one can get married in a church without a huge reception.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t listening to reason. I hope you can get them to change their minds about participating.

OP here- of course I’m one of the only ones in healthcare but my dad in particular is not concerned about the risk. It is SO stressful and I would never forgive my brother if something happened to my parents.

Because he held a gun to their back and frog-marched them into the reception?

Your parents are grown-ass adults and are fully responsible for their own choices. Stop infantilizing them.