My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you and your parents want him to do? Delay the wedding? Get married at the courthouse?

I think it is reasonable for your brother to decide to go ahead and get married. I also think it is reasonable for you and your parents not to attend. Why not go to the wedding ceremony (200 does not sound like that many in a church), and skip the reception?

+1 don’t go but try to empathize with their situation OP. May be forced to cancel anyway.

[Anonymous]

What a blithering idiot.

Obviously don't go. And obviously try to persuade your loved ones not to go. In the end, it's their own choice, but it's worth it to try to convince them.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's the parents choice to attend, but I'm sure they want to see their son get married so this puts them in an awful spot.

Anyway, OP, I came on here to commiserate. I have a close relative holding their wedding in Florida over labor day weekend. No way I'm going.

[Anonymous]

My daughter's wedding is end of August. I'm a father-of-the-bride who doesn't want to attend his own daughter's wedding. They've been living together for over five years. What are they celebrating? Just sign the paperwork. The groom-to-be is a former frat boy who wants a six-figure bachelor party. It's selfish of them to drag me out of staying at home. I'm 74 years old going on 75.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be annoyed. I just wouldn't go.

Maybe I'd be disappointed in my brother's stupidity.

[Anonymous]

OP - stop making it about you

Stop with "your feelings". Stop.

[Anonymous]

My daughter's wedding is end of August. I'm a father-of-the-bride who doesn't want to attend his own daughter's wedding. They've been living together for over five years. What are they celebrating? Just sign the paperwork. The groom-to-be is a former frat boy who wants a six-figure bachelor party. It's selfish of them to drag me out of staying at home. I'm 74 years old going on 75.

No one is

[Anonymous]

“Dancing boxes” with only one couple per box.

This seems like a good idea
What hotel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's wedding is end of August. I'm a father-of-the-bride who doesn't want to attend his own daughter's wedding. They've been living together for over five years. What are they celebrating? Just sign the paperwork. The groom-to-be is a former frat boy who wants a six-figure bachelor party. It's selfish of them to drag me out of staying at home. I'm 74 years old going on 75.

Ouch, sorry. That really sucks. You should definitely stay home and ignore any guilt-tripping you might receive.

That said, there's a TON of judgement in your post that has nothing to do with COVID. If I were you, I would make sure you just stick to the facts when you decline (we're in the middle of a pandemic, you're in a high-risk group) and avoid mentioning anything about the wedding, the groom, or the bachelor party. You'll just alienate your daughter further and will not win over any converts.

[Anonymous]

" No one is "

Wife and said daughter are 'guilting' me.

[Anonymous]

OP, you already know there is no way you are going to be able to talk your parents out of going.

So you should either not go and don't make a stink about it; be gracious, OR, make a deal with your parents that you will go and hover over them with the hand sanitizer etc. to help them minimize their risk.

Oh and btw my suspicion is it's not your brother driving this, but his fiancee and the family on that side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" No one is "

Wife and said daughter are 'guilting' me.

NP. Everyone definitely believes a 75-year-old man is posting on DCUM, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you already know there is no way you are going to be able to talk your parents out of going.

So you should either not go and don't make a stink about it; be gracious, OR, make a deal with your parents that you will go and hover over them with the hand sanitizer etc. to help them minimize their risk.

Oh and btw my suspicion is it's not your brother driving this, but his fiancee and the family on that side.

NP. Even if so...and? Brother is still going along with it, and is therefore equally responsible for the dynamic.

[Anonymous]

My college roommate is going ahead with her wedding in Seattle the weekend before Labor Day (as well as her bachelorette in Nap next weekend) and honestly, it’s changed my opinion of her for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are more likely to die in a car crash going to the grocery store than covid-19. I understand that you are afraid. Do not participate. It is okay, but it is not okay for you to be so controlling regarding your brother's major life event. If the church is only allowing 10 people (I assume your parents would be part of the 10), I don't see what the big deal is. Have them wear masks and sit at their own pew. They will not get covid during the ceremony.

The insane reception is the problem but I notice you didn't mention that as being safe.

OP, the post above is ignorant. Of course it is OK for you to call out your brother and his fiancee because they are being appallingly childish and making choices that could infect people whom they do not even know if infection spreads from their guests out into those guests' families, coworkers, neighbors.

Also: Masks with straw holes? Dancing boxes? They are treating the event as if virus protection is a cutesy theme. That's beyond stupid, and deeply insulting to everyone who takes distancing seriously--and to anyone who has been infected themselves, or lost someone to the virus.

Oh, and the statistical thing of "your parents are more likely to die in a car crash" is a false equivalency. A car crash may be utterly beyond their control, but exposure to the virus is somewhat to largely within their control. And yours. Do not go, OP, and stick to your guns on this. Tell your parents about the Texas case and the one below. And remind them you cannot see them for at least two weeks after the event if they attend.

Look at this. It's similar to the Texas party spreading event but maybe worse. Family party was supposedly was "socially distanced," 14 at party infected, spread to 41 total (and counting) as they gave it to coworkers, neighbors, relatives:
https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/coronavirus/article244147427.html