My husband is a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

I wrote this post a couple weeks ago, about my son making us a casserole with peas and my husband eating it standing at the sink so he could spit the peas directly into the sink (he doesn't like peas.)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/886435.page

I have another son, who has a job this summer working at a big box home improvement store. He doesn't have his own car, so usually I (or my husband) will drop him off/pick him up.
Today when I picked him up, he looked really happy and excited and was carrying a leaf blower. He told me he had bought it for my husband for father's day. In all honesty, my husband doesn't really have use for a leaf blower...but still, that's really sweet, right?

So after dinner my son went to his room, got the leaf blower, and came into the room where Dh was watching tv. My son was singing "happy father's day" to the tune of "happy birthday." Dh just sat on the couch and said "what am I going to do with a leaf blower?" That's a total D--- thing to say to your kid, right?

Son ended up bringing the leaf blower out to the shed a few mintues later.
Son is now asleep (he has to work at 7 am tomorrow) and I asked Dh if he talked with son about it. And he was still just a jerk "Well, he caught me off guard."

I'm just....upset.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. That is some major a-hole behavior! Has he always been like this?

[Anonymous]

What a heartless asshole. Make sure your sons know that you disagree with this kind of behavior. You DO NOT need to present a united front on this.

[Anonymous]

My father was picky about his presents too. I stopped getting him gifts except for major occasions and just make it generic baskets everyone in the family can enjoy. Easy enough and he can't complain anymore.

[Anonymous]

Your kids sound really sweet. You must be proud of them. Unfortunately, I think it's time for them to grow up and realize their father will never give them the love and respect they deserve. Not because they have failed in some way. It's just not how he is. Better now than later. You can help them with that using honest talk.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset if the kids were like 5 years old but I don’t see how either two scenarios with teens is a problem to be upset about. I mean, he should keep the leaf blower and never use it? Force himself to eat the peas when I am sure the kids knew he doesn’t like peas?

[Anonymous]

Your H is a cruel father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be upset if the kids were like 5 years old but I don’t see how either two scenarios with teens is a problem to be upset about. I mean, he should keep the leaf blower and never use it? Force himself to eat the peas when I am sure the kids knew he doesn’t like peas?

I didn't allow my toddlers to stand at the sink & spit out food they didn't like. Barring any sensory/eating issues or allergies, a child can push the item to the side of the plate. I'm sure an adult is capable of eating around it. I loathe picky adults who make a production out of eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be upset if the kids were like 5 years old but I don’t see how either two scenarios with teens is a problem to be upset about. I mean, he should keep the leaf blower and never use it? Force himself to eat the peas when I am sure the kids knew he doesn’t like peas?

What an odd response...so this should be a teaching lesson for OP to help her children realize how oblivious they are (as male teenagers) to her husbands needs? I.e making a dinner but including an ingredient he didn’t like, and getting him a gift for which he didn’t even say thank you?


Honestly the husband sounds like he has horrid social skills. What does he do at friends homes when the dinner includes peas? Or when he is given a gift he doesn’t need? Or is this behavior reserved for his close family?

[Anonymous]

Why are you still married to this guy?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. Your children sound wonderful though. Your DH is a d*ck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you still married to this guy?

I’m wondering the same thing. Has he always behaved like this?

[Anonymous]

God, my heart breaks for your son. How awful. I remember my mom criticizing gifts we got her when I was a child.

Have you talked to your son about it?

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to your husband about this behavior and how insensitive he is being. Ask him to work on improving his interpersonal skills/communication with sons. Tell him this is non-negotiable and you are deeply saddened by his insensitivity towards sons and their efforts.

Your sons sound wonderful, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, my heart breaks for your son. How awful. I remember my mom criticizing gifts we got her when I was a child.

Have you talked to your son about it?

Same. My mother is a cruel and horrible human being though.