Ex wants to take kids on hotel trip with new bf

[Anonymous]

I would like to ask your opinion. My ex-wife, 41 wants to take our kids age 8 and 7 on a beach trip with her new bf. Usually, it’s fine but her bf is pretty new like 4-5 months and he has only met the kids twice. I don’t think it’s appropriate for kids to be spending time with him in the same room for 5-6 days also when they don’t know him that well. She introduced this guy to kids after knowing him for just 4-5 weeks which I thought is highly inappropriate. She had done this before with her previous Bf once. I tried discussing this with her but she got very defensive about her bf and told me it’s going to be fine. There is very little I could do in this situation but I find this to be bad for kids mindset. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

[Anonymous]

No, this is not right. It’s going to be very bad for kids for getting introduced to kids so early in the dating process. Talk to your lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Does your separation agreement cover overnight trips?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be okay with this. Agree with PP to talk to your lawyer. How uncomfortable for your kids sharing a space with this stranger for days on end...

[Anonymous]

i would not be ok with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your separation agreement cover overnight trips?

+1 if it does not, you have no say. It doesn’t matter what you find appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Unless in the agreement, what she does on her time and with who she does it with, is her business. Feel uncomfortable and then move on with your life

[Anonymous]

Op here. We really don’t have anything like this that talks about overnight stays by strangers or out of town trips in our agreement. Ofcourse, I am uncomfortable and kids are too. I would not do any such things with them.

We all date, there is no issue with that but exposing kids to your significant others in a month or two is highly inappropriate in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

offer to keep the kids so she can have a romantic adult only vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would not be ok with this.

What could be done for this situation? I am in similar situation. How does it look for her if it goes further to lawyers and court?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:offer to keep the kids so she can have a romantic adult only vacation

I did offer that but she doesn’t care and always try to push her bf on them.

[Anonymous]

I would don't be thrilled but if its her time, not much you can say.

[Anonymous]

Agree that this isn’t ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:offer to keep the kids so she can have a romantic adult only vacation

I did offer that but she doesn’t care and always try to push her bf on them.

It sounds like it's time to get something about stuff like this in writing. Also if your kids have expressed they are uncomfortable, I'd encourage them to tell their mom that. Maybe hearing it from them will make her reevaluate. Does she have no concerns about sexual abuse? You do not give men you don’t know well unfettered access to your children.