Ex wants to take kids on hotel trip with new bf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by courts around here don’t care? I don’t see how courts could condone this behavior if attorneys are willing to push it.

I did suggest separate rooms for them and a few other suggestions but she’s hell bent on sharing the room with kids and her new bf.

I know it’s not your responsibility to do so, but would she be receptive if you offered to pay for adjoining room for the kids?

[Anonymous]

You need a complete background check on the boyfriend and show that to your ex.
Do this with all her boyfriends. She’s placing her desire to please her new man over the well being of her children, so she can’t be trusted.

[Anonymous]

definitely get a background check and if you don't have enough information to run one, demand that she provide you the information.

Also, do we really think the boyfriend is going to help be a good parent figure, entertaining the kids on the beach, swimming with them, etc.? This dude is not signing up to be daddy for a week. Guaranteed he's going to pressure mom to bail on her kids as much as possible. She sounds week and like a really terrible mother. You should be suing her for full custody.

[Anonymous]

Let it go
She is your ex, not your wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

Oh, I think it’s terrible parenting. But OP cannot do anything about it, unfortunately. You people suggesting he talk to his lawyer or just refuse don’t understand how divorce works. There’s no suggestion of anything dangerous, OP has no evidence of anything illegal...OP is correct that calling the lawyer will turn things ugly and there will be no upside because he has no right to stop it. This is a downside of divorce and one of the reasons people stay married for the kids.

Op here, I understand there is no suggestion of anything but there but my ex has a pattern of doing wat she wants and completely disregarding safety of children. She had a bad fight(domestic violence) with her sister at her house, missing kids doctors appointments, making my daughter watch ph-13+ vulgar hip hop videos, a few small physical abuse like pinching the son during the church service, issues with her previous bf, etc. after all this, I just don’t trust Her that she has our kids interest in mind as the first thing.

Then, file for full custody and be prepared for a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

Oh, I think it’s terrible parenting. But OP cannot do anything about it, unfortunately. You people suggesting he talk to his lawyer or just refuse don’t understand how divorce works. There’s no suggestion of anything dangerous, OP has no evidence of anything illegal...OP is correct that calling the lawyer will turn things ugly and there will be no upside because he has no right to stop it. This is a downside of divorce and one of the reasons people stay married for the kids.

Op here, I understand there is no suggestion of anything but there but my ex has a pattern of doing wat she wants and completely disregarding safety of children. She had a bad fight(domestic violence) with her sister at her house, missing kids doctors appointments, making my daughter watch ph-13+ vulgar hip hop videos, a few small physical abuse like pinching the son during the church service, issues with her previous bf, etc. after all this, I just don’t trust Her that she has our kids interest in mind as the first thing.

My ex-husband does a lot of these things OP. Courts around here don’t care.

Try suggesting separate rooms instead of cancelling the whole vacation all together. It might work.

My husband's ex did much worse. Courts don't care at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

So you have evidence to corroborate that, right?

OP, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be taking the kids. Does she have low self esteem? I would try to reason with her again and offer to keep the kids. But it sounds like this man is already around your children, unfortunately.

4-5% of sec offenders are female. Did you really need to see a study to believe that? https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137358134_3

Its not just about sex offenders and that number is the only number caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

Oh, I think it’s terrible parenting. But OP cannot do anything about it, unfortunately. You people suggesting he talk to his lawyer or just refuse don’t understand how divorce works. There’s no suggestion of anything dangerous, OP has no evidence of anything illegal...OP is correct that calling the lawyer will turn things ugly and there will be no upside because he has no right to stop it. This is a downside of divorce and one of the reasons people stay married for the kids.

Op here, I understand there is no suggestion of anything but there but my ex has a pattern of doing wat she wants and completely disregarding safety of children. She had a bad fight(domestic violence) with her sister at her house, missing kids doctors appointments, making my daughter watch ph-13+ vulgar hip hop videos, a few small physical abuse like pinching the son during the church service, issues with her previous bf, etc. after all this, I just don’t trust Her that she has our kids interest in mind as the first thing.

Then, file for full custody and be prepared for a fight.

Are you high? None of this qualifies for full custody and it would also be a terrible idea to deprive kids of a parent without much higher cause than this.

[Anonymous]

Your ex-wife pinched your son...doesn’t that qualify as abuse? Why don’t you have full custody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your ex-wife pinched your son...doesn’t that qualify as abuse? Why don’t you have full custody?

Op here. Yes, she did and a few other things. Discussed this with my lawyer before and he mentioned that this alone would not constitute much of an abuse unless there are more things like this. She’s also emotionally and verbally abusive towards my son for reasons I don’t know. I put co-parenting counseling in our agreement but she barely cooperates with that too. Difficult to work with her for kids.

Someone suggested about taking a room in the same hotel which I wouldn’t do as I find it creepy, needy and invading in their privacy. She’s supposed to have fun with kids and bf but my only concern here is her exposing kids to her bfs too early and sleeping in the same room.

I asked this question here to see if people could suggest something before I reach out to my lawyer. I am not afraid of legal battles but also see that as a last resort because it also affect kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

Oh, I think it’s terrible parenting. But OP cannot do anything about it, unfortunately. You people suggesting he talk to his lawyer or just refuse don’t understand how divorce works. There’s no suggestion of anything dangerous, OP has no evidence of anything illegal...OP is correct that calling the lawyer will turn things ugly and there will be no upside because he has no right to stop it. This is a downside of divorce and one of the reasons people stay married for the kids.

Op here, I understand there is no suggestion of anything but there but my ex has a pattern of doing wat she wants and completely disregarding safety of children. She had a bad fight(domestic violence) with her sister at her house, missing kids doctors appointments, making my daughter watch ph-13+ vulgar hip hop videos, a few small physical abuse like pinching the son during the church service, issues with her previous bf, etc. after all this, I just don’t trust Her that she has our kids interest in mind as the first thing.

Like what? For some issues, courts are pretty strict.

My ex-husband does a lot of these things OP. Courts around here don’t care.

Try suggesting separate rooms instead of cancelling the whole vacation all together. It might work.

My husband's ex did much worse. Courts don't care at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex-wife pinched your son...doesn’t that qualify as abuse? Why don’t you have full custody?

Op here. Yes, she did and a few other things. Discussed this with my lawyer before and he mentioned that this alone would not constitute much of an abuse unless there are more things like this. She’s also emotionally and verbally abusive towards my son for reasons I don’t know. I put co-parenting counseling in our agreement but she barely cooperates with that too. Difficult to work with her for kids.

Someone suggested about taking a room in the same hotel which I wouldn’t do as I find it creepy, needy and invading in their privacy. She’s supposed to have fun with kids and bf but my only concern here is her exposing kids to her bfs too early and sleeping in the same room.

I asked this question here to see if people could suggest something before I reach out to my lawyer. I am not afraid of legal battles but also see that as a last resort because it also affect kids.

I'm shocked that pinching one's children isn't counted as abuse. I grew up in a different country and was surprised that people accused me of abusing MY kid when I yanked his arm to stop him from blindly crossing the road. Call CPS on this woman please! If your kids have already expressed discomfort, it will only escalate. This has happened in many child abuse cases.

[Anonymous]

You would be surprised how incompetent CPS could be and they don’t care to look into anything like this. Would end the investigation as inconclusive.

Much worse happened with a friend’s daughter and CPS didn’t do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would be surprised how incompetent CPS could be and they don’t care to look into anything like this. Would end the investigation as inconclusive.

Much worse happened with a friend’s daughter and CPS didn’t do anything.

Then when would they do anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex-wife pinched your son...doesn’t that qualify as abuse? Why don’t you have full custody?

Op here. Yes, she did and a few other things. Discussed this with my lawyer before and he mentioned that this alone would not constitute much of an abuse unless there are more things like this. She’s also emotionally and verbally abusive towards my son for reasons I don’t know. I put co-parenting counseling in our agreement but she barely cooperates with that too. Difficult to work with her for kids.

Someone suggested about taking a room in the same hotel which I wouldn’t do as I find it creepy, needy and invading in their privacy. She’s supposed to have fun with kids and bf but my only concern here is her exposing kids to her bfs too early and sleeping in the same room.

I asked this question here to see if people could suggest something before I reach out to my lawyer. I am not afraid of legal battles but also see that as a last resort because it also affect kids.

I'm shocked that pinching one's children isn't counted as abuse. I grew up in a different country and was surprised that people accused me of abusing MY kid when I yanked his arm to stop him from blindly crossing the road. Call CPS on this woman please! If your kids have already expressed discomfort, it will only escalate. This has happened in many child abuse cases.

Its poor parenting but if there aren't marks or bruises its not abuse. CPS will not do anything.