Ex wants to take kids on hotel trip with new bf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ugh, I would hate that. Not only the boyfriend but the hotel in pandemic times. Your ex has a high risk tolerance, doesn’t she?
Sorry, OP, I would just refuse point blank.

She has done this before with another ex bf and his 2 kids, all 6 of them in one room. Pretty awkward and inconvenient.

Another thing that bothered me a little is that this new bf is in US since last 3 years and became a US citizen recently. His ex wife and kids are in Middle East so he has no accountability to behave properly in US. May be I am overthinking this but the thought of it scares me too.

I seriously doubt this guy is divorced.

It’s very common for them to keep separate wives in different countries. I hope not in OP’s case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i would not be ok with this.

+1

And I have to say, staring down the road to divorce/co-parenting myself, this is extremely discouraging. I can absolutely see my STBXH doing the same.

Put this and overnight guests in your separation agreement asap.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Ugh, I would hate that. Not only the boyfriend but the hotel in pandemic times. Your ex has a high risk tolerance, doesn’t she?
Sorry, OP, I would just refuse point blank.

You would refuse point blank? That’s not how divorce works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Yes, she doesn’t have any concern about sexual abuse etc for the kids. She doesn’t think that her bf is like that she knew for 4-5 months. In my opinion, no one knows what could happen beforehand and that’s why as a parent we have to do the right thing to protect our kids.

She did acknowledge last year in writing that it was wrong for her to take kids on a beach trip with her previous bf but doing that again now so I don’t get it.

I could talk to the lawyer, but Ofcourse that could turn things ugly. I always try to improve on our relationship as a co-parent for kids best interest but she does whatever she pleases.

I don’t understand why you continue to allow this to happen. At this point I would get my lawyer involved.

[Anonymous]

Sharing a room with mom and her new boyfriend. You can be sure the kids will be pretending to sleep while they have sex.

[Anonymous]

No way. They need separate rooms.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think your hesitancy in getting legal on this issue is a cop out. THIS is precisely the sort of issue you must play hardball. Everything about this plan sounds awful. And I'll note not a single mention of concerns about COVID? Having a strange man staying IN THE SAME ROOM (?) with your children is an absolute non-starter. And your ex has only just recently started dating this guy? So is he expecting to try and have sex in the middle of the night while your children are there? Everything about this is just awful. And you state that your children has already expressed discomfort about this? Well, dad, that is your children begging you to intervene and protect them. You must. I feel like you're trying to avoid conflict and prioritizing that over your children's safety and wellbeing. No, no, no.

[Anonymous]

Do, better. You really need to be brave and tough on this issue.

[Anonymous]

Guaranteed your ex and the beau will leave your children alone some nights while they go out on "dates" ... they will be terrified. Imagine how changing in and out of bathing suits will happen. How showers and taking poops will happen. Your ex is the worst. I feel for your kids. I really do. You need to put a stop to this.

[Anonymous]

OP,

How do you know the guy has an ex wife and kids in the M.East?

Flag on the play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this board since it’s the wife, everyone will say no big deal. Reverse the genders, and it’s a huge deal, he’s an ass, etc.

I disagree. It’s more dangerous for kids to be around a man than a woman from a sexual molestation threat perspective.

This. Pedos target women with young children to date. Exwife sounds very naive as she as already done this once before with prior boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why the trip is an issue. He’s already met the kids so if he is a molester he can do that at home. I guess you can argue about traveling during a pandemic, but plenty of people are doing that. Why does the trip make the difference? And certainly concerns that’s he is a new citizen so won’t behave in the US are pretty ridiculous. I don’t think there’s anything you can do at this point. It’s too late to get something in writing - why would she agree to that now?

If Dad wanted to do it with his new girlfriend of the month would you be ok with that?

Oh, I think it’s terrible parenting. But OP cannot do anything about it, unfortunately. You people suggesting he talk to his lawyer or just refuse don’t understand how divorce works. There’s no suggestion of anything dangerous, OP has no evidence of anything illegal...OP is correct that calling the lawyer will turn things ugly and there will be no upside because he has no right to stop it. This is a downside of divorce and one of the reasons people stay married for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

How do you know the guy has an ex wife and kids in the M.East?

Flag on the play.

Have you not heard of polygamy?
It is a different world out there