Kid falling behind & getting wild staying at home
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Anonymous
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I & DH have been working 8-5pm from home, and our 4 year old DD has been out of daycare since mid-March. Both of us have no time to take care of DD during work hours, and we feel really sorry for her. She wanders around, does some homework sheet(which we force her to), plays some toys.....so bored being at home, and also watches a lot of tv. We do realize that her reading level has gone down, forgets some letters, manners has been bad & undisciplined. Is it all due to lack of daycare? She used to attend full day daycare 5 days a week.
We are not considering nanny because we cannot imagine one more adult stuck in our small house all the time. But, we feel like that we have to do something about her academic, her unhappiness being at home & her watching too much tv daily. We are not ready to send her back to daycare, and I don't even know if her daycare has spot for her anymore because they are opening at 50% capacity & they have taken in other emergency personnel family. We have tried some virtual sessions, and it is a lot of effort for parents to supervise during the whole time. And, she is 50% not interested, and cannot sit still to focus. And, I hate more screentime because everything now is all virtual. We have bought many workbooks, and she does not want to do them. We have tried to incorporate daycare schedules, and we find out that it is totally impossible for working parents to do that. We are thinking to find a high school kid or college kid to keep him company for few hours every day in the furnished basement, but we are not sure where to find that person, and how social distancing that person is? What to do if both parents have inflexible telework hours with young kids? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like a parenting issue and you need to change your parenting. If she has bad manners and is undisciplined, that is a parenting issue. You cannot expect day care to parent her without you doing it at home. |
Anonymous
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It seems to me that two parents could adequately support one child, unless you're literally on camera from 8 'til 5. You can create a cute visual schedule for her, then walk her through it and alternate with your husband. Either of you could be sitting in the same room, and she can show you her things, you can participate a bit, but continue to work. I agree it can't be challenging activities that require your total engagement, but something she can do by herself with a little help. Can you make space for an indoor trampoline? It's been a lifesaver for us. Do you have a backyard? You can perhaps have scheduled outdoor time with a sprinkler or whatever and you can sit and work there to make sure she doesn't get into trouble. |
Anonymous
| You should change your mind on the nanny. Look for a preschool teacher or elementary school teacher whose plans were nixed for the summer. You can make it work in a small house (we do). The nanny can give your child the attention she needs. |
Anonymous
| You have one kid. You can spare some time for her. No one works straight 9 hours in a row with no breaks. You and your husband should stagger your breaks and spread time reading with her. Get her outside. Cook lunch with her. |
Anonymous
+1 A child that age needs socialization and structure, period. |
Anonymous
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She needs somebody to take her outside. I'd hire a college kid and ask them to wear a mask.
Kids are energy bombs - they need to be outside. |
Anonymous
| OP , this sounds just like my daughter! We are also thinking of looking for a camp counselor or preschool teacher to engage her for a few hours a day and then we can split the rest of the time amongst husband and I and also get work done ! |
Anonymous
This. Do whatever it takes for you AND your husband (not just mom!) to get more flexible during the day. What are your jobs that you both are working every minute of every hour? You refer to it as "inflexible telework" but what exactly is inflexible -- must you, as one PP said, actually be in front of a camera Zooming for nine hours every day and always from 8 to 5? Can either or both of you stagger your work schedules around, one of you starting and ending the work day much earlier than the other, or one of you working a block of morning hours but then being off for a chunk of the afternoons and restarting work for a few hours in late afternoon-early evening-, etc --? Without knowing what this work is you and your DH do, it's hard to make any suggestions. Not many jobs any more are so very rigid that a parent must be in the seat exactly 8 to 5. You can of course try a nanny or a college-age or teenage sitter. You will have to do some serious interviewing about coronavirus protection and distancing and what that person actually, honestly does when not with you (depending on how your family feels about distancing/masks/exposures). But if you do hire someone, it will take time. And in the meantime you and your spouse need to work out more ways to make breaks in the day and use them with your child. |
Anonymous
| I am in the same boat!! My 4 year old is acting out more and she’s not interested in learning and just runs around playing with her younger. I definitely thinks she needs the structure of school as between both of us working full time and having a 4 and a 2 year old, we are barely surviving as it is. I don’t have any suggestions, just commiserating with you. |
Anonymous
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I have 3 kids including a 4 year old. I could not ignore my 4 year old all day long and let him watch TV and expect it to go well.
You definitely need to stagger breaks and start/end times to spend time with your child. Short times watching or playing independently is fine. |
Anonymous
+2 OP anyone you hire (even if only part time) should be taking your daughter outside of your house for part of the day, to take care of the small house issue. |
Anonymous
| This is really hard. All parents need to give themselves a break. Of course a 4 year old is struggling. It will be ok whatever you decide |
Anonymous
| You and DH need to work in shifts. That's what we do. Instead of 8-5, one person works 7-9 while other watches our kids, then swap and that person works 9-11, and so on. We then extend our workday into the evening or morning (one of us gets up at 5am to work then too). |
Anonymous
| That’s tough OP. She might just be really bored. I like the suggestions about a nanny, college kid etc. Good luck! |