Kid falling behind & getting wild staying at home

[Anonymous]

I was a PP earlier about changing your schedules. I also realized you said this, OP: Your child "does some homework sheet(which we force her to)" and you also referred to her forgetting letters and her reading "level."

OP, I am all about getting kids used to learning and giving them structure that includes some actual learning in their days, BUT I am concerned that you and your DH are expecting far too much academic stuff from a four-year-old. When you're not working remotely, is her day care one that pushes things like worksheets for children her age? I hope you can rethink your concern about and emphasis on her being "forced" to do worksheets at this stressful time when she's already frustrated and acting out. Please understand, if you are 'forcing" her to do anything like that now, when she gets to kindergarten she might just decide she hates worksheets or school and might resist and you are setting a stage now for a bigger problem later on.

Four is too young for worksheets and learning needs to be more like playing--which means you and DH really, really do need to change your schedules to interact with her much more through the day. Worksheets can't take the place of sitting down to color with her so you can see if she holds crayons and markers appropriately (the first step toward writing); reading with her and having her point out things in the pictures or point out words she doesn't know; playing with her in the tub with sponge letters or helping her make words on the fridge with magnet letters like one PP mentioned; haviing her measure out ingredients into measuring cups to "help" with cooking, etc. I am not saying you have to drop everything to turn yourselves into a day care for her all day long. but the emphasis in your post on what sounds like academic expectations for a four year old sound like too much. And I say that as a parent whose kid was reading pretty well at four years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have one kid. You can spare some time for her. No one works straight 9 hours in a row with no breaks. You and your husband should stagger your breaks and spread time reading with her. Get her outside. Cook lunch with her.

This. Get play doh, coloring stuff, magnatiles etc. stagger your hours a bit and change your priorities. Forget workbooks and worksheets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You appear to be terrible parents

Honestly, this. She is four and you and husband let her wander around the house all day because you are busy working? I don’t care about her being bored. I care about her being safe and supervised. Please send her back to daycare. She needs actual adults in her life.

[Anonymous]

You need a nanny... I feel really bad for your DD. I have a 4 year old as well, but she has a 6 year old sister and a 15 months old brother. She is never bored and play with her siblings and our nanny. It’s not perfect and she is not behaving well 100% of the time, but she is doing fine. She used to be in FT preschool before (8:30-3) and she misses it, but at least she is not spending hours in front of screens every day. You can do better OP... sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You appear to be terrible parents

Honestly, this. She is four and you and husband let her wander around the house all day because you are busy working? I don’t care about her being bored. I care about her being safe and supervised. Please send her back to daycare. She needs actual adults in her life.

Yeah, i hate to pile on but I agree.

[Anonymous]

This is op. My DD used to go to daycare full time with preschool curriculum & stressed on academic. She used to like it to do homework worksheet. She knows all letters, numbers, some math & some reading on her own. She does not wander around aimlessly all day at the house. We have no backyard, but we have a furnished basement for her to jump around downstairs. Her playroom is on the first floor. She had an ipad, but we try to limit scteentime. Just like today, I got her 2 zoom classes, one for science project & one for exercise.

The reasons we both have inflexible telewprk schedules from 8am to 5pm because DH is in IT (no flexibility for him & meeting all the time), and my company has been doing layoff at office ( i want to look my best at performance not to be selected for round 2 or after layoff). My workload has been increased because I have to cover other people workload at this timing.

We did a lot with our child from mid-March till April end to make it work. As time go on, it is getting physically & mentally exhausting to keep that going & making it better for DD. She can watch TV all day, and we try to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op. My DD used to go to daycare full time with preschool curriculum & stressed on academic. She used to like it to do homework worksheet. She knows all letters, numbers, some math & some reading on her own. She does not wander around aimlessly all day at the house. We have no backyard, but we have a furnished basement for her to jump around downstairs. Her playroom is on the first floor. She had an ipad, but we try to limit scteentime. Just like today, I got her 2 zoom classes, one for science project & one for exercise.

The reasons we both have inflexible telewprk schedules from 8am to 5pm because DH is in IT (no flexibility for him & meeting all the time), and my company has been doing layoff at office ( i want to look my best at performance not to be selected for round 2 or after layoff). My workload has been increased because I have to cover other people workload at this timing.

We did a lot with our child from mid-March till April end to make it work. As time go on, it is getting physically & mentally exhausting to keep that going & making it better for DD. She can watch TV all day, and we try to avoid it.

You must get an educated nanny. Your “small” house seems to have enough room.

[Anonymous]

OP, these 3 steps will help you during the next pandemic.

Step 1: Get naked.
Step 2: Have coitus with your DH
Step 3: Deliver a sibling

If you rinse and repeat these steps too many times, you will be complaining about other things.

Good luck OP. These are trying times for us all.

[Anonymous]

Our 16 year old neighbor is running an afternoon summer camp at her home . Once school is out the kids will be going daily from 12-4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, these 3 steps will help you during the next pandemic.

Step 1: Get naked.
Step 2: Have coitus with your DH
Step 3: Deliver a sibling

If you rinse and repeat these steps too many times, you will be complaining about other things.

Good luck OP. These are trying times for us all.

This does not sound like it would help OP at all. She can't manage 1.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I dunno, DCUM always came off way too judgmental to me. Every problem is automatically.. why are you an xyz type of parent, blah blah. I do not fully understand your circumstances, but 4 is a HARD age. Some of your problems is probably just that. I realize not all kids may be difficult, but this age has been sooo hard for our family. I’ve had to change my parenting a bit to be more empathetic, offering lots of positive redirection and reinforcement. You might think about a part time babysitter maybe two or three days a week..just fo few hours a day to just help you breathe and help the child. Good luck, OP!!!

[Anonymous]

I would suggest that anyone with kids needing some supervision and outdoor activity this summer consider hiring high school students for babysitting 2-3 hours per day. Contact your high school PTA and suggest that they help parents find babysitters. I am a high school teacher and have a lot of sweet, lonely girls whose parents have been serious about keeping them inside. They are bored and looking at a long summer with nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to make sacrifices (working in your bedroom or even bathroom) and get a good nanny or babysitter. It has to be an option, OP, small house or not.

This. Stop being so selfish and self-centered, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to make sacrifices (working in your bedroom or even bathroom) and get a good nanny or babysitter. It has to be an option, OP, small house or not.

This. Stop being so selfish and self-centered, OP.

Omg, can we stop with the name calling? You do not know this person, and she already mentioned she might do babysitter... how is she selfish?? Do you know where she lives? Stop judging.. you make her sound like the worst parent..

[Anonymous]

Why can't you both set a better schedule? Your child needs structure and things to look forward to during the day. I don't understand why you can't stagger your schedules so your child gets one of you ever couple of hours to go for a walk, a bike ride, eat lunch together. You take a lunch and two breaks at the office, so you can, and should do that at home with your child as well. This isn't rocket science. Your child needs your attention. She isn't a potted plant.