Husband’s work schedule—Does my opinion matter?

[Anonymous]

When it comes to how it affects life at home?

It’s been presented as an option to DH to start a new project this summer with a new team. He’s a team lead and is well liked by his subordinates, and they all want him to lead their team. His other option is to stay where he is, working on an identical project. The proposed project would include a schedule change that would have him working late weekdays. He pretty much wouldn’t see the kids (or be home to help with them) M-F. Under normal circumstances, I would be mildly annoyed but agreeable to the idea. But considering camps are closed and we don’t have much to do recreationally outside of the home, I’d prefer him home at his normal 5pm M-F just to give me a break.

His ego has really been stroked by this team’s desire to have him lead them, and I feel he’s failing to see how this would impact things for me at home. I don’t work during the summer (work for a school district), so I would essentially be on my own all week during the kids’ waking hours. Before I broach the subject and put my foot down about this, so you think I’m being fair? Selfish?

[Anonymous]

Make a choice and live with it. Do you want DH home to relieve you at 5pm in the short term or do you want DH to grow in his position and benefit the family financially in the long term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make a choice and live with it. Do you want DH home to relieve you at 5pm in the short term or do you want DH to grow in his position and benefit the family financially in the long term?

I must have missed where OP says this is a promotion or a growth opportunity. He would go from leading one team to leading another team - sounds like a lateral move.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely voice my reservations. you didn't have the children by yourself. His decisions impact your life, and your opinion should be taken into consideration. Of course he should not take on this new responsibility without weighing the impacts it will have on your life and on the kids'.

[Anonymous]

You want your DH at 5 pm instead of having a fulfilling career with the team he desires to work with and you don’t work during the summer. LMAO. Hire a sitter a couple of hours a day if you can’t deal with your own kids.

[Anonymous]

How old are DCs?

[Anonymous]

I thought you were being fair until you said "put my foot down." Seems like you both need to work on your communication skills.

What you need is a conversation - "Honey, I'm thrilled you've been offered this opportunity, but I'm really concerned about how this will impact our family." Talk, explain your concerns, listen. Decide together what makes sense for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely voice my reservations. you didn't have the children by yourself. His decisions impact your life, and your opinion should be taken into consideration. Of course he should not take on this new responsibility without weighing the impacts it will have on your life and on the kids'.

This, but op, it’s ridiculous to think you could put your foot down.

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want your DH at 5 pm instead of having a fulfilling career with the team he desires to work with and you don’t work during the summer. LMAO. Hire a sitter a couple of hours a day if you can’t deal with your own kids.

So OP should just suck it up and do 100% of childcare with no relief because... her husband wants a "fun" job?

[Anonymous]

So he won’t see his kids 5 days a week? Totally unacceptable. How could be even consider this?

[Anonymous]

You indicate you’d be agreeable under normal circumstances, find a solution (like hiring someone) that works for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you were being fair until you said "put my foot down." Seems like you both need to work on your communication skills.

What you need is a conversation - "Honey, I'm thrilled you've been offered this opportunity, but I'm really concerned about how this will impact our family." Talk, explain your concerns, listen. Decide together what makes sense for your family.

OP here. Wrong choice of words! I meant that with no hostility

And yes, it’s a lateral move. The only thing that would change is the team. He’s loved and praised his current team up until now, but now his ego has been stroked by this new team.

Kids are 7 and 9.

[Anonymous]

What are the hours? Won’t he be home in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the hours? Won’t he be home in the morning?

He would go from 7-5, to 9-7. Kids have been rolling out of bed around 8:30, but he’d be gone by then.