Husband’s work schedule—Does my opinion matter?

[Anonymous]

I'm having a hard time seeing your side in this. You have off the entire summer. If you really have no ideas on how to entertain your kids without your husband, then change your schedule. Let the kids sleep late and get up late. Have your family time at different hours than you had planned. If you force him into a job that he ends up not liking, your summer is going to be more miserable than if he takes a job that requires him to work different hours than you were expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the hours? Won’t he be home in the morning?

He would go from 7-5, to 9-7. Kids have been rolling out of bed around 8:30, but he’d be gone by then.

Since they are sleeping late, they can stay up later and DH can put them to be and spend time with them from 7-9 pm. I don’t see it as a big deal. The alternative is for DH to wake them up and have Daddy time while he makes them breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Get a part time sitter this summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want your DH at 5 pm instead of having a fulfilling career with the team he desires to work with and you don’t work during the summer. LMAO. Hire a sitter a couple of hours a day if you can’t deal with your own kids.

So OP should just suck it up and do 100% of childcare with no relief because... her husband wants a "fun" job?

Try rewarding as opposed to fun. Her kids are easy ages and it’s not 100% of the childcare. He be home in the mornings and for bedtime as well as the weekend.

[Anonymous]

In these times I would be very mindful of the potential for layoffs. If this is something the company is asking him to do or if it will improve his marketability within the organization I would encourage him to take it.

[Anonymous]

No, you don’t.

[Anonymous]

I think you're being unfair and selfish if you just announce that he can't take the new assignment. It is perfectly reasonable to point out that this means he will be gone before the kids wake up and, depending on commute, home after they are in bed (or right at bedtime). Are there things he could do that would make life easier for you? Chores or errands he could do so that things would run more smoothly during the day? Would he be willing to take the kids for a full day on the weekends? You both need to listen to each other.

[Anonymous]

Is the assignment just for the summer?

[Anonymous]

So let me get this straight:

Identical assignments, just different teams.
He likes his current team, but feels important because the other team wants him.
These two thing—from what I can gather—in no way will positively impact his career.

So there is no real career-positive for him in the situation, just maybe a slightly more “fun” team. So for his “fun“, OP should have to shoulder more of a burden at home? And let’s be honest: this summer is going to be long. It’s going to suck.

[Anonymous]

If he's home by 7p, how in the hell is he not seeing the kids Mon-Fri during the summer when they can stay up later and sleep until 8:30 or beyond?

Nice try adding a little fudge to make your case sound better.

[Anonymous]

Do you work?????

That makes all the difference to me on my answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's home by 7p, how in the hell is he not seeing the kids Mon-Fri during the summer when they can stay up later and sleep until 8:30 or beyond?

Nice try adding a little fudge to make your case sound better.

You all are way harsh! NP but my kids are that age and are going to bed by 9 still. I’m also home with them while my husband works and yeah, I need quiet time in the evening, sorry. I also want alone time with my husband. So yeah, the kids aren’t staying up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you work?????

That makes all the difference to me on my answer.

She doesn’t work in the summer. It’s in the original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make a choice and live with it. Do you want DH home to relieve you at 5pm in the short term or do you want DH to grow in his position and benefit the family financially in the long term?

I must have missed where OP says this is a promotion or a growth opportunity. He would go from leading one team to leading another team - sounds like a lateral move.

Great points.

other questions:
How many months long is this 60-80 hour a week project with late hours?
What is the raise associated with it?
When is next promotion, will this accelerate it?
What happened to the last person to lead this team of people?
Why is it happening over the summer and not Fall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's home by 7p, how in the hell is he not seeing the kids Mon-Fri during the summer when they can stay up later and sleep until 8:30 or beyond?

Nice try adding a little fudge to make your case sound better.

You all are way harsh! NP but my kids are that age and are going to bed by 9 still. I’m also home with them while my husband works and yeah, I need quiet time in the evening, sorry. I also want alone time with my husband. So yeah, the kids aren’t staying up.

OP has several solutions at her fingertips .... have DH wake kids at 7 am and feed them breakfast and spend time with them in the morning or hire a sitter for 15-20 hours a week to get a break.