Husband’s work schedule—Does my opinion matter?
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Anonymous
| Let him take it, but you get time to yourself every weekend while he catches up on dad time. |
Anonymous
| You are not at all being selfish. I think it is very reasonable to voice your concerns. |
Anonymous
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People are being mean. I think it is important to talk about it as a team and discuss impact and action plan. So the spouse opinion matters. I don’t think either person should have complete unilateral decision making.
But, I think you can make it work. I would define some clear times for yourself - he cooks batch meals over the weekend so you don’t have to cook. He takes the kids sat and sun until 11:30am. Movie night every Friday. Curious if the 9-7 is with commute? Or does he stop at 7 and have a 90 min drive home? |
Anonymous
| 7pm isn’t that late for a full time worker. |
Anonymous
+1. Especially not a lawyer. |
Anonymous
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What kind of a moron is suggesting hiring a babysitter during a PANDEMIC??? |
Anonymous
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Yes, I would discuss the impact on you. If he really wants to take this opportunity , what can he do to alleviate the workload on you? As a team lead would there be any flexibility in the work hours including working from home one day a week, going in earlier so he can be off on Fridays etc? If they really want him that much, he may be able to negotiate a small concession with schedule. With childcare constraints he may not be the only one at his job with challenges working a 9-7 schedule.
If there is really zero flexibility in schedule, what would he suggest? How will this work when you go back in the fall if it is a hybrid model, if the kids are remote, and if they are in person? Presumably he is making s commitment to the team that has to work no matter what your schedule and the kids schedule is in the fall so I would look at several scenarios. |
Anonymous
The Disney dad dynamic is not good for anyone. She does all the work, discipline, teaching, meals, house maintenance Mon-Fri and he can swing in for two days of good off time? |
Anonymous
+2. It's really not, nor is it a big deal. |
Anonymous
The only thing here that ends on weekends is teaching. All that other stuff still occurs Saturdays and Sundays. |
Anonymous
| OP presented this like the dad is never around but she is an unrealiable narrator now that it turns out he is home by 7 each evening with kids well past the toddler stage. |
Anonymous
I thought that was odd. I also think that the very prevalent idea that there are tons of people hanging out who want to pick up a two hour babysitting job in the middle of the day is kind of off. I tend to think the people suggesting this have no experience with actually hiring a babysitter. |
Anonymous
While I agree with both of you that I would never do this, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE! Also, there are lots of high school and college students who lost their summer jobs, so I imagine a sitter wouldn't be hard to find. I just can't imagine doing this now, but the idea is everywhere and multiple people have posted that this is their plan. |
Anonymous
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If the difference is this doofus getting home at 5 or at 7, what exactly would a sitter accomplish for kids past the baby/toddler stage during those oh so crucial two hours?
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Anonymous
Taking the supervision of the kids off her hands to give her a mental and physical break for a reliable period each day. A sitter can play board games or take the kids in a hike while mom reads, makes dinner quietly or goes on a solo walk. And look if your husband is already exposing himself to covid in the work place, you might as well consider hiring a teenager nearby to help Mom out, and yes that would even be in a pandemic. |