Can't do "everything in moderation" - is there a way to develop that mindset?

[Anonymous]

I've been thin (too skinny, really) my entire life and ate whatever and then premenopause hit, and wow, what an eye-opener! I packed on 25-30 pounds very quickly because I kept to my old eating habits. I tried to slow it down by promising myself I would cut down on treats or junk food (never worked). Finally I made a sea change and stopped buying everything that I could never cut back on and counted calories, and stayed very strict and lost the extra weight. It was a lot easier to say "no chocolate" than to say "a tiny bit of chocolate every day" or "a chocolate bar twice a week" because I NEVER kept to those limits.

And I realize, I've always been that way, with everything that I like. I used to like to go to the casinos, but I wanted to stay and gamble the entire time, and all night. When I realized I was spending too much money on that, I just stopped altogether. I only want to watch old shows that have lots of seasons so I can binge them; I hate getting into shows that are once a week only. I used to have this hobby that was all-consuming; I cut it out entirely when I realized it was taking too much time/focus/money. Even something like a good book - I'm staying up all night to finish it instead of reading a little bit every day.

Back to my diet; I've lost the weight and truthfully could probably keep eating like this for a very long time, but want to have some leeway for small indulgences without opening the floodgates.

Is there a way to change my entire mindset to enjoy 'treats' (whether it be food or other things that are ok for once in a while but not ok as a constant activity). Thank goodness, I never got into heroin!

[Anonymous]

I buy serving-sized snacks - 100-calorie bags of chips, mini ice cream cones, fun-size chocolate bars, etc. - and build it into my diet. While I will spend more for an 8-count package of 100-calorie bags of chips, I know I cannot control myself with an open family-sized bag, so I'm willing to pay more.

When I go to a restaurant, I consider my meal to actually be two meals and as soon as I eat half of it, I put the rest away. If I lingered there with the fries, I wouldn't be able to control myself!

[Anonymous]

Only have the "treat" while out, not at home. So I might get a small ice cream if we go to Dairy Queen as a family, but I don't keep it in that house. I might share a dessert with my husband is we eat out, but are don't keep cake in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been thin (too skinny, really) my entire life and ate whatever and then premenopause hit, and wow, what an eye-opener! I packed on 25-30 pounds very quickly because I kept to my old eating habits. I tried to slow it down by promising myself I would cut down on treats or junk food (never worked). Finally I made a sea change and stopped buying everything that I could never cut back on and counted calories, and stayed very strict and lost the extra weight. It was a lot easier to say "no chocolate" than to say "a tiny bit of chocolate every day" or "a chocolate bar twice a week" because I NEVER kept to those limits.

And I realize, I've always been that way, with everything that I like. I used to like to go to the casinos, but I wanted to stay and gamble the entire time, and all night. When I realized I was spending too much money on that, I just stopped altogether. I only want to watch old shows that have lots of seasons so I can binge them; I hate getting into shows that are once a week only. I used to have this hobby that was all-consuming; I cut it out entirely when I realized it was taking too much time/focus/money. Even something like a good book - I'm staying up all night to finish it instead of reading a little bit every day.

Back to my diet; I've lost the weight and truthfully could probably keep eating like this for a very long time, but want to have some leeway for small indulgences without opening the floodgates.

Is there a way to change my entire mindset to enjoy 'treats' (whether it be food or other things that are ok for once in a while but not ok as a constant activity). Thank goodness, I never got into heroin!

Lol - I’ve been searching for the answer to this Q my whole life! I think some of us are just born w “all or nothing” written in our DNA. If you happen to find the secret to moderation, pls share!

[Anonymous]

I am the same way OP - with food, books, etc.

I have not found a way to allow treats in moderation. Every method I try leads to falling off the wagon. It is easier for my brain to let go of the thought of sugar if it is never an option, rather than continually thinking about the next time I can have it.

[Anonymous]

I read an interview with a food critic once. He was asked how he maintained a healthy weight and the food critic said something that completely changed the way I thought of food. The critic said that it's easy to eat in moderation. We're in America. We won't run out of food. There will always be more amazing things to taste.

And the next time I went out to eat, the group got a dessert to share and as I took my first bite I thought "there WILL be more amazing desserts. You WILL taste more amazing things in your life. You don't have to snarfle this down as if it's the last time you'll ever eat dessert." And I had a second bite, and then I was sated.

I hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

I have a secret to moderation: If you are not the kind of person who can do moderation, then stop trying and construct your life so you are all on/off and you will naturally succeed.

I think food is not like, say, clothes shopping or other things. Food is a very primitive thing, linked to survival and in mammals, females tend to obsess over food like males do over sex. It has to do with survival of the species.

So, I'm a person who tried food moderation for a long time. What a struggle. What an obsession to have to count calories or points etc!

Then I found Intermittent Fasting (IF). OP, if you wean yourself off sugar and grains, and instead eat a high-fat diet consisting of full fat dairy and meat and nuts and veggies, you won't need to keep eating to keep your insulin stable. Think about non-industrialized cultures...they don't get up and reach for their pancakes...they have nothing until they hunt it down and cook it, or gather it and make it and cook it. So, one meal a day, in late afternoon, on average.

The added bonus of this is it induces autophagy--in short, your body to spend energy cleaning itself out, rather than on digesting. This is why people who fast say they can think more clearly.

So after getting rid of grains and added sugars, (say, three weeks after) try not eating from dinner to lunchtime. Or eat breakfast and lunch but not dinner. But don't do breakfast and dinner because the idea is to get a long time between meals.

The weight will fall off and you'll glow. I promise you. I'm post-menopausal and it totally works. And after you get the hang of it, it's effortless, because, when I'm "off" I'm "off"--no internal willpower struggle. I don't eat until X time.

The way I've made it work (pre-Covid) is that I only eat dinner, however; if I'm going to lunch with someone, I make that lunch my main meal and then skip dinner. But lots of people do this with two meals, not one.

[Anonymous]

^forgot to say, take a look at marksdailyapple.com

[Anonymous]

When I do my weekly grocery shopping, I buy one of each of these categories

Sweets (chocolate bar, skittles, small ice cream, etc)
Salty (chips or pretzels)
Indulgent (usually a really good thing of cheese) I do allow myself cheese on pasta/tacos that don't count

Then that's it for the week. So I can either eat the entire chocolate bar in one day and then not have any for the next 6 days, or I can break it apart and have some each day. I portion out the salty/indulgent food to have a serving each day. DH and DS can help themselves to the rest.

When I go out to eat, I look up the menu in advance to figure out what I may want. It helps if I knw there is a dessert that I really want, so I plan the rest of the meal around an indulgent dessert.

For cooking, I still make pasta but I am careful with the portions. DH and DS get a normal serving, I get more of a side serving and have more veggies. When there isn't an option to overeat something like pasta, you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read an interview with a food critic once. He was asked how he maintained a healthy weight and the food critic said something that completely changed the way I thought of food. The critic said that it's easy to eat in moderation. We're in America. We won't run out of food. There will always be more amazing things to taste.

And the next time I went out to eat, the group got a dessert to share and as I took my first bite I thought "there WILL be more amazing desserts. You WILL taste more amazing things in your life. You don't have to snarfle this down as if it's the last time you'll ever eat dessert." And I had a second bite, and then I was sated.

I hope this helps.

Not OP but this is really good advice in pre-pandemic times. In current time, I keep thinking It’s been so long since I’ve been to a restaurant that I’m starting to wonder if there ever will be more amazing things to taste!