Frustration w different levels of self isolation between ILs and us

[Anonymous]

My ILs are freaked. out. By covid. Which, fine, I mean I have been taking it very seriously as well and have been super strict about it with our three year old, and my husband is on board. Now that we’re in week eight, though, we’re “opening up” a bit. We just started letting our son ride bikes on the street when the other kids are out, and we’re considering going hiking w my parents next weekend.

My ILd got wind of this and I just got a total freak out from my MIL about how we’re not taking the long view and we have to stay in the house until we all get at home testing or a vaccine. I mean, that’s not going to happen. School will be open before a vaccine, to begin with. And I just foresee this continuing as we let our son go back to school/camp this summer or the fall, we start going into the office, and other openings. They only get news sources from the scariest places and the constant phone calls is going to drive me up a wall.

I am also getting really resentful because we have this small kid at home and covid cost me my job. Meanwhile they sit in a giant townhouse in kalarama clutching their pearls about how we let our son outside. They have no real clue the impact of this, AND we’re still being so conservative!

I guess this is partially a rant but I just need to sort out how to handle their end times freak outs as we continue to make tiny decisions about covid as the months ago on. Do you have major differences w your family over this? And how are you dealing?

[Anonymous]

Just don't engage. Let what your MIL says go in one ear and out the other.

You've made the decision you think is wise for your family so now own that decision and force yourself to not let what your ILs say or think get under your skin.

I know... easier said than done. But fake it 'till you make it.

As cliche as it is, you can't change them, you can only change your reaction to them. Chose to not let it bother you. Eventually it actually won't.

[Anonymous]

No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

[Anonymous]

Souds like your MIL was reading DCUM. She sounds a lot like some of the freaking out posters on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Souds like your MIL was reading DCUM. She sounds a lot like some of the freaking out posters on here.

That’s why I think OP is a troll who is trying to stir up the Paranoid Pattys. Although I do agree with her view, not MIL’s.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

Ok, so rules don't apply to you, just the rest of us. 6 feet is the absolute minimum. This is why we cannot reopen as people refuse to follow the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

The best guidance is to not socialize and hopefully it will either lessen the curve so not as many hospitalized all at once overwhelming the medical system or it can die out. Your young child will be fine just with mom or dad riding bikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

Of course child can. You need to calm down, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

[Anonymous]

When Phase One starts are we still going to have all the hysterical posts about kids riding their bikes or walking more then 10 feet from their house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

The best guidance is to not socialize and hopefully it will either lessen the curve so not as many hospitalized all at once overwhelming the medical system or it can die out. Your young child will be fine just with mom or dad riding bikes.

You sound like a freaking broken record. The curve IS lessened - in fact, it's flattened. The hospitalized ARE NOT OVERWHEMING THE MEDICAL SYSTEM.

Truly, PP, your hysteria needs a new line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

No, there are some of us with relatives (or are ourselves) front line health care workers who are getting sick and/or dying as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk. Most people don't realize the seriousness until someone they know is impacted. I am very relaxed. I don't get the flu shot and worry about those things but this is something we don't understand fully and there is no cure. Why would you risk elderly or young kids? Or, if you get sick, your doctor, assistants, nurses lives as you were too selfish to stay home a few weeks. Or, you have young kids. Kids are dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

No, there are some of us with relatives (or are ourselves) front line health care workers who are getting sick and/or dying as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk. Most people don't realize the seriousness until someone they know is impacted. I am very relaxed. I don't get the flu shot and worry about those things but this is something we don't understand fully and there is no cure. Why would you risk elderly or young kids? Or, if you get sick, your doctor, assistants, nurses lives as you were too selfish to stay home a few weeks. Or, you have young kids. Kids are dying.

1) I appreciate what your relatives are doing as front line health care workers.

2) You are stupid to not get a flu shot.

3) Kids are barely impacted by Covid. The numbers/ odds are astoundingly low.

4) No one with young kids is going to keep their sanity by "staying home a few weeks." Kids have to get outside and play and riding bikes with friends is about the safest thing they can do.

5) The stay at home order is not designed to prevent you, your relatives, or anyone else from contacting coronavirus. It is designed to keep us all from catching it at once and overwhelming hospitals. That has been accomplished.

6) Go back to number 1 and start over.