Frustration w different levels of self isolation between ILs and us

[Anonymous]

OP, I assume you’re following the guidance from your state, and so you can just tell your ILs this. What they choose to do is up to them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your MIL, however, this is your life, the life of your child, not hers...

... Unless you push a visit on her at some point! Please don’t do that. You could kill her.

[Anonymous]

Stop telling her about it

[Anonymous]

I went to 3 Zoom funerals this week alone for Coronavirus. Maybe it has not impacted anyone you know but it’s real. One was a woman who left her 4 year old behind. No preexisting conditions and not an essential worker. I get your fed up with being at home and yes your kid can ride a bike with you or DH but unless he is old enough to be left alone without a sitter, he and his friends are not be trusted with social distancing. And no way should you expose your parents to the disease for a hike particularly if your letting your kid run around with other kids on his bike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

No, there are some of us with relatives (or are ourselves) front line health care workers who are getting sick and/or dying as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk. Most people don't realize the seriousness until someone they know is impacted. I am very relaxed. I don't get the flu shot and worry about those things but this is something we don't understand fully and there is no cure. Why would you risk elderly or young kids? Or, if you get sick, your doctor, assistants, nurses lives as you were too selfish to stay home a few weeks. Or, you have young kids. Kids are dying.

1) I appreciate what your relatives are doing as front line health care workers.

2) You are stupid to not get a flu shot.

3) Kids are barely impacted by Covid. The numbers/ odds are astoundingly low.

4) No one with young kids is going to keep their sanity by "staying home a few weeks." Kids have to get outside and play and riding bikes with friends is about the safest thing they can do.

5) The stay at home order is not designed to prevent you, your relatives, or anyone else from contacting coronavirus. It is designed to keep us all from catching it at once and overwhelming hospitals. That has been accomplished.

6) Go back to number 1 and start over.

+ 100

Finally a sensible post. OP tell you MIL that you are not discussing this with her and when she engages, tell her you need to go and hang up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

Ok, so rules don't apply to you, just the rest of us. 6 feet is the absolute minimum. This is why we cannot reopen as people refuse to follow the rules.

Transmission risk from being outside is very low. We are doing the occasional bike ride with friends but limiting grocery store trips to one every 14 days.

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2020/4/24/21233226/coronavirus-runners-cyclists-airborne-infectious-dose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

I am sure all the other parents in my neighborhood think this also. Thier kids are not staying 6 feet apart.

I know you are going insane. We all are. That is why people freak out when others loosen up. Because we want this to be over. And we see your actions as making this drag on. You can do what you want. But you cannot be upset that people are calling you out on your selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

I am sure all the other parents in my neighborhood think this also. Thier kids are not staying 6 feet apart.

I know you are going insane. We all are. That is why people freak out when others loosen up. Because we want this to be over. And we see your actions as making this drag on. You can do what you want. But you cannot be upset that people are calling you out on your selfishness.

No. You are wrong. It isn't stay home so the virus disappears. That isn't going to happen.

It was always ONLY stay at home so hospitals aren't overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

I am sure all the other parents in my neighborhood think this also. Thier kids are not staying 6 feet apart.

I know you are going insane. We all are. That is why people freak out when others loosen up. Because we want this to be over. And we see your actions as making this drag on. You can do what you want. But you cannot be upset that people are calling you out on your selfishness.

Unless we all stay home and stop getting deliveries it isn't going to end on a few weeks no matter what. Things won't get back to normal until there is a vaccine.
We all flattened the curve somewhat by staying at home. I am with my kids when they bike ride. They are moving the entire time except occasionally to cross a street. While bike riding they are six feet apart (one behind the other) and the wind would help to dissipate any virus. They bike ride with a friend for about twenty minutes a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

I am sure all the other parents in my neighborhood think this also. Thier kids are not staying 6 feet apart.

I know you are going insane. We all are. That is why people freak out when others loosen up. Because we want this to be over. And we see your actions as making this drag on. You can do what you want. But you cannot be upset that people are calling you out on your selfishness.

This. I live near the playground in our neighborhood and sometimes sit on my front porch to read on nice days. I see the kids biking back and forth in groups, and they are definitely not 6 feet apart from each other. Sometimes they all get off of their bikes to go look at something, like a rabbit in a yard, and stand together in a little clump with some even holding hands. Their parents proudly talk about how their kids are so responsible and understand if they want to see their friends they have to keep at least 6 feet apart at all times. I wish they’d just be real and say they needed a break from their kids so as long as they’re out of the house they don’t really care what they’re doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

No, there are some of us with relatives (or are ourselves) front line health care workers who are getting sick and/or dying as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk. Most people don't realize the seriousness until someone they know is impacted. I am very relaxed. I don't get the flu shot and worry about those things but this is something we don't understand fully and there is no cure. Why would you risk elderly or young kids? Or, if you get sick, your doctor, assistants, nurses lives as you were too selfish to stay home a few weeks. Or, you have young kids. Kids are dying.

1) I appreciate what your relatives are doing as front line health care workers.

2) You are stupid to not get a flu shot.

3) Kids are barely impacted by Covid. The numbers/ odds are astoundingly low.

4) No one with young kids is going to keep their sanity by "staying home a few weeks." Kids have to get outside and play and riding bikes with friends is about the safest thing they can do.

5) The stay at home order is not designed to prevent you, your relatives, or anyone else from contacting coronavirus. It is designed to keep us all from catching it at once and overwhelming hospitals. That has been accomplished.

6) Go back to number 1 and start over.

While all of these are true, #5 really is the entire point. (Well, #2 as well, but that's a different post.) The stay-at-home order is not designed to stamp out the disease. It just isn't, and these posts suggesting that it is are nearly as damaging as the nonsense spewed by the President. WE are not all staying inside until there is a vaccine, and that never was the plan. If you, and OP's ILs can do that, and choose to - great, more power to you. But that's not the policy of government at any level, and statements like, "as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk" are completely irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to 3 Zoom funerals this week alone for Coronavirus. Maybe it has not impacted anyone you know but it’s real. One was a woman who left her 4 year old behind. No preexisting conditions and not an essential worker. I get your fed up with being at home and yes your kid can ride a bike with you or DH but unless he is old enough to be left alone without a sitter, he and his friends are not be trusted with social distancing. And no way should you expose your parents to the disease for a hike particularly if your letting your kid run around with other kids on his bike.

I just want to say I am so sorry for your losses.

Also the longer this goes on the more it seems like this virus is actually scarier than we thought, not less so. We have no evidence yet that you can't get reinfected and burgeoning evidence that recovered folks can have lifelong damage to other organs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a troll. I’m a person trying to sort out this bullshit when there is no good guidance or leadership and we need to be good citizens, stay healthy, keep a living, and have some modicum of comfort and peace during one of the worst times I can recall

I agree OP. Please understand that DCUM is, unfortunately, probably the wrong place to go with something like this, as there are too many people with nothing to do, like your MIL, who enjoy making everything about them and love nothing more than telling other people what to do.

In your situation, I would back off from MIL entirely and let DH handle her. She has no idea what it's like to do this with young kids, plus she has a lot more time to fixate on CNN and every death report they come up with. So, just let it go. She's frustrated, you're frustrated and this conversation will not end well - so don't have it.

Besides, she doesn't need to know every detail of your life anyway.

No, there are some of us with relatives (or are ourselves) front line health care workers who are getting sick and/or dying as others refuse to keep themselves safe and put the health care works at risk. Most people don't realize the seriousness until someone they know is impacted. I am very relaxed. I don't get the flu shot and worry about those things but this is something we don't understand fully and there is no cure. Why would you risk elderly or young kids? Or, if you get sick, your doctor, assistants, nurses lives as you were too selfish to stay home a few weeks. Or, you have young kids. Kids are dying.

Anyone who skips the flu shot can’t lecture anyone on protecting kids and the elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

+1

How close are your kids riding bikes together? Maybe mine is bad at bikes, but she can’t get closer than six feet anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

Ok, so rules don't apply to you, just the rest of us. 6 feet is the absolute minimum. This is why we cannot reopen as people refuse to follow the rules.

Six feet is the rule. And it’s probably bigger than it needs to be, wisely. Six feet is fine. Stop asking people to follow rules you invented.