Frustration w different levels of self isolation between ILs and us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read these posts and there seems to be two camps...the cautious rule followers who are concerned for the greater society and then the I’ll do what I want be damned everyone else. These are uncertain times but I thank those sacrificing their freedom for my family and my friends, I thank you.

There’s three camps
1. Complete isolation. They never leave their house and have everything delivered.
2. Social distancing. This group goes outside and takes walks even though there are people outside. Go grocery shopping but wear a mask and maintain 6 feet when possible.
3. Very little to no social distancing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read these posts and there seems to be two camps...the cautious rule followers who are concerned for the greater society and then the I’ll do what I want be damned everyone else. These are uncertain times but I thank those sacrificing their freedom for my family and my friends, I thank you.

There’s three camps
1. Complete isolation. They never leave their house and have everything delivered.
2. Social distancing. This group goes outside and takes walks even though there are people outside. Go grocery shopping but wear a mask and maintain 6 feet when possible.
3. Very little to no social distancing.

I agree with this. We still go outside, we still go to the store when needed. We have friends who have absolutely everything delivered and sanitize every can e en though they are not high risk. They’re always sending me “tips” for no-contact options because they know I’m not as strict.

But then we increasing see groups of neighbors out mingling and more traffic.

[Anonymous]

The thing with having groceries delivered is you are just transfering the risk of going to the grocery store to someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read these posts and there seems to be two camps...the cautious rule followers who are concerned for the greater society and then the I’ll do what I want be damned everyone else. These are uncertain times but I thank those sacrificing their freedom for my family and my friends, I thank you.

There’s three camps
1. Complete isolation. They never leave their house and have everything delivered.
2. Social distancing. This group goes outside and takes walks even though there are people outside. Go grocery shopping but wear a mask and maintain 6 feet when possible.
3. Very little to no social distancing.

I will add:

1.5 Do grocery delivery to satisfy their social distancing requirements and then do playdates because their kids are getting bored. I call these specimens “Assholes”

[Anonymous]

It is going to be hard for all this social distancing to end until we have robust testing and the ability to isolate sick people from the rest of their families instead of sending them home. My kid and me occasionally going on a bike ride with a other kid (and no one getting off their bikes the entire time) is not what is prolonging this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs are freaked. out. By covid. Which, fine, I mean I have been taking it very seriously as well and have been super strict about it with our three year old, and my husband is on board. Now that we’re in week eight, though, we’re “opening up” a bit. We just started letting our son ride bikes on the street when the other kids are out, and we’re considering going hiking w my parents next weekend.

My ILd got wind of this and I just got a total freak out from my MIL about how we’re not taking the long view and we have to stay in the house until we all get at home testing or a vaccine. I mean, that’s not going to happen. School will be open before a vaccine, to begin with. And I just foresee this continuing as we let our son go back to school/camp this summer or the fall, we start going into the office, and other openings. They only get news sources from the scariest places and the constant phone calls is going to drive me up a wall.

I am also getting really resentful because we have this small kid at home and covid cost me my job. Meanwhile they sit in a giant townhouse in kalarama clutching their pearls about how we let our son outside. They have no real clue the impact of this, AND we’re still being so conservative!

I guess this is partially a rant but I just need to sort out how to handle their end times freak outs as we continue to make tiny decisions about covid as the months ago on. Do you have major differences w your family over this? And how are you dealing?

I'd let the child ride a bike but stay 6 feet away minimum from anyone else and their pets. Spray shoes when you return. If the parents live near the hiking spot - walking distance - then do it. Parks are closed and so are the restrooms. Now that can be a real problem and please don't park on other people's property ...

You're not the only one resentful about this pandemic. People all over the world are getting furious. News from all sources is scary. We all had a major difference with a family member [doesn't live with us] who went to a funeral about 1 month ago and a restaurant luncheon after...

One of my DC's worked at an essential business which had to shut down because customers did not practice social distancing, follow guidelines for engaging he service, and put them at risk. Thy could not work from home in these jobs [blue collar] and imagine being treated like dirt /worthless endangering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Phase One starts are we still going to have all the hysterical posts about kids riding their bikes or walking more then 10 feet from their house?

Yes. It will be tough for anxious people to calm down whenever conditions permit it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=6&v=jeTYvJSd5lM&feature=emb_logo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, your child should not be riding bikes with other kids. They can ride a bike with you or dad.

We have been doing bike rides with other kids. They stay on their bikes the entire time and usually stay 6 feet apart. No one I'm our family is high risk.

I am sure all the other parents in my neighborhood think this also. Thier kids are not staying 6 feet apart.

I know you are going insane. We all are. That is why people freak out when others loosen up. Because we want this to be over. And we see your actions as making this drag on. You can do what you want. But you cannot be upset that people are calling you out on your selfishness.

This is utter non-sense. The virus is not spread by people bicycling in their neighborhood.
People don’t touch each other’s bikes.
About the closest you get to someone bicycling is 4 feet. And you’re not face-to-face. The virus is spread by larger droplets. When in motion. These droplets fall to the ground quickly.
And don’t forget that sunlight kills it within two minutes.
Stop the hysteria.

I do not think they want to stop the hysteria. This is meeting some complex needs for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read these posts and there seems to be two camps...the cautious rule followers who are concerned for the greater society and then the I’ll do what I want be damned everyone else. These are uncertain times but I thank those sacrificing their freedom for my family and my friends, I thank you.

There seems to be an element of narcissism to this for many, for sure.

A need to be superior, associated with a greater cause, controlling, etc. with no basis in science and no willingness to acknowledge recent data.

https://twitter.com/AlexBerenson

[Anonymous]

I have opted not to read 4 pages of the same arguments that are on every other thread on DCUM.

OP, just don’t tell you MIL that your kid is going on bike rides or hikes with people outside the house. If the kid tells her, just find a way to end the conversation if she starts. She will learn very quickly that you don’t care about what she has to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs are freaked. out. By covid. Which, fine, I mean I have been taking it very seriously as well and have been super strict about it with our three year old, and my husband is on board. Now that we’re in week eight, though, we’re “opening up” a bit. We just started letting our son ride bikes on the street when the other kids are out, and we’re considering going hiking w my parents next weekend.

My ILd got wind of this and I just got a total freak out from my MIL about how we’re not taking the long view and we have to stay in the house until we all get at home testing or a vaccine. I mean, that’s not going to happen. School will be open before a vaccine, to begin with. And I just foresee this continuing as we let our son go back to school/camp this summer or the fall, we start going into the office, and other openings. They only get news sources from the scariest places and the constant phone calls is going to drive me up a wall.

I am also getting really resentful because we have this small kid at home and covid cost me my job. Meanwhile they sit in a giant townhouse in kalarama clutching their pearls about how we let our son outside. They have no real clue the impact of this, AND we’re still being so conservative!

I guess this is partially a rant but I just need to sort out how to handle their end times freak outs as we continue to make tiny decisions about covid as the months ago on. Do you have major differences w your family over this? And how are you dealing?

We're in week seven. Stop being so dramatic.

[Anonymous]

NP here. So let me start by saying that I have a family of four that has 2 members (one parent, one child) who are high risk with underlying medical conditions that make them vulnerable. We are being extremely careful. The kids only play with friends remotely (we have had a few playdates with another family, the kids play Nintendo Switch games while we have a Zoom session set up so that all four kids can see each other). Otherwise, the kids (we have 8 yo twins and the other family has 7 yo twins) have not seen anyone else but us. But, we are very sensitive due to the vulnerability. I go out every 3 weeks for groceries, am very careful, we wipe all packaging down when it comes into the house and I immediately shower and change clothes when I return. I wear a surgical mask (we had an opened box from a couple of years ago) and a cloth mask over that and bag the masks for 3 days after a trip. I take the kids out bike riding or we all go out walking 2-3 times a week. Last week, I took the kids to our private neighborhood tennis court and we played tennis for an hour. We get them out, but we are very cautious.

Now, you know that I am extremely cautious due to our family health conditions. For a normal family with lower risk, no underlying health conditions, I think it is fine to relax your standards a little. Yes, the kids are getting antsy being cooped up and you need to do what you need to do for your family. Your conditions of riding bikes with adult supervision to keep warning the kids to social distance seems reasonable. I would make sure that one of the two adults rides between the two kids to help ensure as much social distancing as possible.

If you are going to do this, then I would NOT go hiking with your parents. Right now those that are in their 50s are the age group that has had the most hospitalizations statewide in MD. Next the 60s. And the groups with the highest death rates are 70's, 80+ followed by 60's. So, your parents are likely in a very susceptible and vulnerable age group. While the risk is low when it is only you and the kids, once someone in your household is going out, whether shopping, running errands, essential work, or in this case bike riding with friends, you are risking your parents. While you and the kids are low risk, if you are exposed, you can very easily become carriers of the virus even if none of you show symptoms or get ill. Then you can carry it to your parents and infect them and they are high risk to contract the virus and/or require hospitalization.

So, my suggestion is that you relax your quarantine slightly, but either do bike riding OR do hiking. Not both. And it is not for your benefit, but for your parents. If your ILs become panicked, then let them know that you are following the guidelines to minimize the risk. You and the kids are still social distancing, but are low risk. You are doing what you can to protect your parents from any exposure they may have from you and the kids. I personally would pick doing things with your parents instead of another family, but it's up to you how you choose to relax your quarantine.