I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)

[Anonymous]

First I was anxious about getting sick, or running out of food.

Then I got sad hearing all the reports from Italy and elsewhere in the world (and predictions for the future here).

Now I'm worried I'm getting seriously depressed.

I'm a SAHM of 3 kids (6, 3, baby). DH is working long hours from home. You'd think I'd be used to being at home with the kids, but I actually would rarely go more than a day or two max without leaving the house. We were out and about all the time, more I think than I'd even appreciated before this. And the oldest was in school, and the 3 year old had preschool three mornings a week, so I had time alone with the baby.

Now I just am feeling really dark and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. This will end, yes. But after how long? The uncertainty, the grief, the worry about my elderly parents - it's all getting to me. And with 3 kids to care for (and homeschool?!) I barely have time to escape (by watching netflix or reading or whatever else people are doing).

Help.

[Anonymous]

Call your OB/GYN to discuss postpartum depression. It’s real and can exacerbated by a situation like this.

[Anonymous]

It is the post partum hormones. And listening to gloom & doom stories don't help.
We all feel depressed in our on way- our schedules are messed up, theres no routine anymore, all the activities my kids loved are canceled, it feels like I'm in the movie Groundhogs Day, sequestered in my house, away from loved ones, food, stock market, the list goes on...yeah, it isn't just you.

Consider writing down your feelings in a journal. Find inspiration in small acts of kindness (my kids made banana bread and left it at the doorstep of a neighbor), and remember that tomorrow is a new day.

[Anonymous]

You CAN leave the house - go for a walk, run, hike, play soccer, fly a kite. I know these aren't cures for depression but you absolutely need to get some fresh air and exercise. This is all fine under current social distancing guidelines. I would also do your best to reach out to friends and family. It can be very therapeutic to talk to the people you love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call your OB/GYN to discuss postpartum depression. It’s real and can exacerbated by a situation like this.

+1

I was finally diagnosed at 18 months. Life could have been a very different place.

[Anonymous]

I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've felt myself spiraling. I also work on the front lines of this pandemic which doesn't necessarily help. DH has been incredibly helpful and supportive BUT yesterday he told me he needed me to be stronger for him and for DS. And he was right.

I could go one of two ways.

1. I could spiral. Shut down. Be miserable

2. I could recognize my fears and concerns and do what I can do now. I can't concentrate on the future and the what ifs. Just do what I can do for now. And keep going. I've gone with option 2. I've felt tremendously better the last couple of days.

[Anonymous]

WTF isn’t your DH giving you a break from the constant childcare? Especially since he’s home! Lemme guess, his “long hours” last from the kids’ wake-up time to bedtime and then magically he’s done with work as soon as they’re in bed. I don’t know why you SAHMs put up with this.

[Anonymous]

Please please do call your OBGYN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

Also btw I speak from experience with a family full of mental illness and various outcomes. Meds can help, but ultimately it’s on you. I would investigate a talk therapist who teleconferences.

[Anonymous]

I think you should also investigate antidepressants via a telemedicine conference. This is uncharted territory and you can go off them when this is over but might make sense now. Maybe OBG can prescribe, a GP can as well. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Call your primary care and ask about antidepressants. Find a way to exercise everyday. Sending you good thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

Also btw I speak from experience with a family full of mental illness and various outcomes. Meds can help, but ultimately it’s on you. I would investigate a talk therapist who teleconferences.

I’m the OP that should be removed. It is so crazy to me that we have come to a point where every person remotely anxious or sad is slapped with a “mental illness” label and handed a pill. How do you live in a world where every worry is a condition and every sorrow is a sickness? We are witnessing an unprecedented number of people on anti-depressants, and I would argue a small number of these people have chemical imbalances; the vast remainder face truly depressing times without having learned how to cope. It is not. a. mental. illness. to worry about your children’s health or feel hopeless in the face of this crisis that isn’t ending. Stop denying people the agency to be in charge of their life and their thoughts by pathologizing every human experience until they are a passive victim to their feelings.