I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First I was anxious about getting sick, or running out of food.

Then I got sad hearing all the reports from Italy and elsewhere in the world (and predictions for the future here).

Now I'm worried I'm getting seriously depressed.

I'm a SAHM of 3 kids (6, 3, baby). DH is working long hours from home. You'd think I'd be used to being at home with the kids, but I actually would rarely go more than a day or two max without leaving the house. We were out and about all the time, more I think than I'd even appreciated before this. And the oldest was in school, and the 3 year old had preschool three mornings a week, so I had time alone with the baby.

Now I just am feeling really dark and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. This will end, yes. But after how long? The uncertainty, the grief, the worry about my elderly parents - it's all getting to me. And with 3 kids to care for (and homeschool?!) I barely have time to escape (by watching netflix or reading or whatever else people are doing).

Help.

Do crafts. Let them take a bath in the middle of the day and play in there. Take a walk but Lee a distance from others. Let them watch tv. Go on a drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF isn’t your DH giving you a break from the constant childcare? Especially since he’s home! Lemme guess, his “long hours” last from the kids’ wake-up time to bedtime and then magically he’s done with work as soon as they’re in bed. I don’t know why you SAHMs put up with this.

New poster here in the same boat as OP. My husband works very long hours from home right now. He is responsible for the livelihoods of so many and thanks to him, many people are still have work to do and are getting paid. Not everyone works a tidy 9-5 and splits domestic stuff 50/50. Maybe this situation will help you gain some perspective.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel the same way and my kids are a lot older than yours.

I don’t think this has to be PP hormones, as others stated. This is a horrible, stressful situation for everyone. Feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, frustration, and depression are normal and probably to be expected.

Every time I think about the lock down going on for months, I feel so hopeless and despairing. I feel so sad and frustrated when I think of everything my kids are missing out on because the US government fumbled their response to this SO BADLY. So I try not to think about that and just take it one day at a time. But obviously that is much easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

[Anonymous]

No doctor is going to prescribe a brain changing medication without an in person visit.

And an in person visit isn’t a good idea right now for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Thanks for the kind responses. And for the others: getting treatment, or anonymous support online, is one of the many ways I am helping my children, thank you very much. My grandmother was bipolar in the 1940s and 1950s until she had electroshock treatment that erased her memory but cured her mental illness. She was not sick because of a failure to “buck up”. Stop with the shaming.

And to the weird SAHM shamer (must there always be one?), my DH is as involved as he possibly could be. He’d quit his job in a heartbeat if it were necessary, but many employees rely on him. And although he works from home most of his work these days is covid related, so if we want the world to continue to go round, we need people doing their jobs.

I appreciate the commiserations and support this site can provide. I contacted my doctor who said she is concerned about all her patients with a history of depression but that being postpartum makes me especially vulnerable. She is sending in a prescription so I have it if I need it.

Also, I have so many strategies for lifting myself out of a mild depression, and they just aren’t available to me right now. Like, going out. Seeing people. Taking a spin class. Going to the gym. Treating myself to a fancy meal. Taking a long break from my kids while DH takes them some place fun. The list goes on. This pandemic will be devastating to those of us with a history of depression or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

OMFG. Most money managers are just really good salesman. Clearly he has you fooled too. There is no way one guy WAH is going to have mad insights to save his clients. Unless your DH last name is Burry? He is a devoted dad and I know would take a break to play drums with his kids.

What exactly is he researching to provide for his clients, good places to prospect for gold?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

OMFG. Most money managers are just really good salesman. Clearly he has you fooled too. There is no way one guy WAH is going to have mad insights to save his clients. Unless your DH last name is Burry? He is a devoted dad and I know would take a break to play drums with his kids.

What exactly is he researching to provide for his clients, good places to prospect for gold?

Why are you so angry? People have different jobs and some jobs are very busy right now, even working from home. Move on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Thanks for the kind responses. And for the others: getting treatment, or anonymous support online, is one of the many ways I am helping my children, thank you very much. My grandmother was bipolar in the 1940s and 1950s until she had electroshock treatment that erased her memory but cured her mental illness. She was not sick because of a failure to “buck up”. Stop with the shaming.

And to the weird SAHM shamer (must there always be one?), my DH is as involved as he possibly could be. He’d quit his job in a heartbeat if it were necessary, but many employees rely on him. And although he works from home most of his work these days is covid related, so if we want the world to continue to go round, we need people doing their jobs.

I appreciate the commiserations and support this site can provide. I contacted my doctor who said she is concerned about all her patients with a history of depression but that being postpartum makes me especially vulnerable. She is sending in a prescription so I have it if I need it.

Also, I have so many strategies for lifting myself out of a mild depression, and they just aren’t available to me right now. Like, going out. Seeing people. Taking a spin class. Going to the gym. Treating myself to a fancy meal. Taking a long break from my kids while DH takes them some place fun. The list goes on. This pandemic will be devastating to those of us with a history of depression or anxiety.

I'm very glad you contacted your doctor, which exactly the single most important thing you need to be doing right now, especially having had a baby recently.

Please also check out the Feeling Good Handbook. It sounds cheesy but coming from experience, the writing exercises really do help as you work through depression as the many online reviews will explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Thanks for the kind responses. And for the others: getting treatment, or anonymous support online, is one of the many ways I am helping my children, thank you very much. My grandmother was bipolar in the 1940s and 1950s until she had electroshock treatment that erased her memory but cured her mental illness. She was not sick because of a failure to “buck up”. Stop with the shaming.

And to the weird SAHM shamer (must there always be one?), my DH is as involved as he possibly could be. He’d quit his job in a heartbeat if it were necessary, but many employees rely on him. And although he works from home most of his work these days is covid related, so if we want the world to continue to go round, we need people doing their jobs.

I appreciate the commiserations and support this site can provide. I contacted my doctor who said she is concerned about all her patients with a history of depression but that being postpartum makes me especially vulnerable. She is sending in a prescription so I have it if I need it.

Also, I have so many strategies for lifting myself out of a mild depression, and they just aren’t available to me right now. Like, going out. Seeing people. Taking a spin class. Going to the gym. Treating myself to a fancy meal. Taking a long break from my kids while DH takes them some place fun. The list goes on. This pandemic will be devastating to those of us with a history of depression or anxiety.

OP, take some pressure off yourself and forget about homeschooling your kids. They’ll do fine without school for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

OMFG. Most money managers are just really good salesman. Clearly he has you fooled too. There is no way one guy WAH is going to have mad insights to save his clients. Unless your DH last name is Burry? He is a devoted dad and I know would take a break to play drums with his kids.

What exactly is he researching to provide for his clients, good places to prospect for gold?

Why are you so angry? People have different jobs and some jobs are very busy right now, even working from home. Move on!

Wow he really has the wool pulled over yours eyes.

All these jobs have time to take a 15 minute break and let mom get a breather.

I’m mad b/c OP DH is making her sick with his self-importance. I guess you are fine being trodden on, carry on.

[Anonymous]

Me too. I was dwelling on the fact that we were to move and now it is on hold. What will happen? What will our finances be? Will we have food? Can I care for those I care about? Then a young friend offered me hope.
She says “if you are scared, you need Jesus.” Simple answer to a complex thought. So I pondered. Then another friend offered me the scripture from the Bibe, Ephesians 4:4-8. This says “Rejoice.” I thought, sure rejoice? So I asked for help to rejoice and behold it helped. I was able to begin to see hope. See blessings. This scripture also says “Dwell on these ‘good’ things.” So I begin to discipline my thoughts and began to dwell on good things. I am feeling better about things now. I then realized- ok -friends helped me by sharing their insight. So maybe I could help others, my children/family by sharing my insights. This also helped me to focus on “good” things. We can encourage others and be a light for our children.
Our children are learning from us how to handle this type of challenge as it comes into our lives. We can be an example and teach them how to cope. I am praying for you and incidentally for homeschooling your kids and coping I found this resource (https://bit.ly/3bkgV9L). Hope all of this helps. Blessings to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

Ha Ha Ha Ha

I come from the world of portfolio management. You can take a break. It’s not like trading where your butt has to be in the seat during market hours. He is gaslighting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF isn’t your DH giving you a break from the constant childcare? Especially since he’s home! Lemme guess, his “long hours” last from the kids’ wake-up time to bedtime and then magically he’s done with work as soon as they’re in bed. I don’t know why you SAHMs put up with this.

New poster here in the same boat as OP. My husband works very long hours from home right now. He is responsible for the livelihoods of so many and thanks to him, many people are still have work to do and are getting paid. Not everyone works a tidy 9-5 and splits domestic stuff 50/50. Maybe this situation will help you gain some perspective.

New Poster here, but so what. Charity starts at home. If his wife is struggling to point of being severely depressed he needs to step in and give her a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the same age children, 3 of them. I mean this in the kindest way possible, OP: stop focusing on yourself so much. You are the grown-up and the rock to your children. You be brave and focus on your babies and how fortunate you are to be their mother whom they love and look to for all their needs and joys and fears and strength. All that worry and depression is a black hole and it will eat you alive and your kids will pay for it.

This post should be removed. It’s offensive and dismisses the very real illness known as depression. Would you tell a diabetic to just work harder at producing more insulin? Or tell someone with a broken leg to just walk it off? Messages like this only serve to make the person struggling with it feel even worse. There is a real chemical component to this.

I feel sorry for your children that they have a parent that is so ignorant. God help them if they have any kind of mental health issues.

Np. I know what you are saying, but I would tell a diabetic to change their diet and exercise, and someone with a broke leg to use crutches and be more careful.

It’s partly chemical and definitely anxiety plays a part here, but she does need to take ownership that as the mother of 3(!!) wallowing is really not on the table.

Meds may be an option but going to doctor may be risky and most meds need follow up and some need bloodwork. I wouldn’t be trying a new Med while hospitals are overwhelmed and we are sheltered.

So look for ways to make changes yourself. Put baby in stroller and sit out in backyard and get some some while older two make bubbles.

Give in to screen time and let them watch all of DisneyPlus.

And kick your DH in the arse to help out. I can’t imagine any WAH job that is that busy or vital that he can’t pop in and give you a break. Unless he is a COVID19 genetic researcher he is taking advantage of you.

You can’t imagine any WAH job that is busy or vital right now? My husband personally manages billionS of dollars of other people’s money. Many institutional clients who trust him to invest their members’ retirement money. Obvi stock market has been on the craziest roller coaster this week. If you had your retirement money invested with him, would you be happy to hear of him shrugging his shoulders and taking his kids out to blow bubbles at 2 pm?

And it’s not just managing the dips, it’s planning and research. Now he doesn’t work 24/7 and he has been playing with the kids a lot in the evenings. But still. There are many reasons why people might be busier than usual this week even if they aren’t epidemiologists. I mean, I’m assuming his clients are hoping this ends someday and they still have some money left over at the end of it. Shrug.

OMFG. Most money managers are just really good salesman. Clearly he has you fooled too. There is no way one guy WAH is going to have mad insights to save his clients. Unless your DH last name is Burry? He is a devoted dad and I know would take a break to play drums with his kids.

What exactly is he researching to provide for his clients, good places to prospect for gold?

Why are you so angry? People have different jobs and some jobs are very busy right now, even working from home. Move on!

Wow he really has the wool pulled over yours eyes.

All these jobs have time to take a 15 minute break and let mom get a breather.

I’m mad b/c OP DH is making her sick with his self-importance. I guess you are fine being trodden on, carry on.

I'm not OP or PP but I think your response is over the top angry.