Guy Mad I Won't Sleep Over

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months. We are not exclusive but I think I'm the only one he is seeing. We have been sleeping together for the past month, but I don't want to sleep over yet. He really wants me to stay the night, but I told him I'm not comfortable with that level of intimacy unless we are exclusive. I want to know what we are and if he sees a relationship with me before I started spending nights and weekends with him. I don't want to act like a girlfriend if I'm just an option. I told him all of this and he says he understands, but he has yet to give me nay clarification on what we are. He says he just wants to take things slow and not force anything, but he still insists I sleep over. His reasoning is he wants to see how we get along spending a night or a weekend together, and he also likes morning sex. I feel like he wouldn't want to spend all of that time with me if he wasn't interested, but him not willing to make more of a commitment and become exclusive makes me feel like he's not yet sure about me.

[Anonymous]

You are having sex with him but sleeping over is too intimate? That is kind of silly. I agree with him. You should find out if you are compatible sleepers before this goes further!

[Anonymous]

Stick to your guns.

[Anonymous]

You'll share your body which is as intimate as you can get, but won't share his bed? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Oh, so he wants an actual girlfriend without really putting any labels and remaining not exclusive. Sneaky! Stick to your guns.
What's the worst that can happen - he'll stop sleeping with you? I don't think so!

[Anonymous]

Gosh, it makes me sad to see what women put up with in relationships these days. Not blaming you, op, it’s just that expectations are incredibly out of whack for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so he wants an actual girlfriend without really putting any labels and remaining not exclusive. Sneaky! Stick to your guns.
What's the worst that can happen - he'll stop sleeping with you? I don't think so!

Exactly. He wants it all without any effort on his part. Just don’t make a big deal over it but stick to your guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating a guy for a couple of months. We are not exclusive but I think I'm the only one he is seeing. We have been sleeping together for the past month, but I don't want to sleep over yet. He really wants me to stay the night, but I told him I'm not comfortable with that level of intimacy unless we are exclusive. I want to know what we are and if he sees a relationship with me before I started spending nights and weekends with him. I don't want to act like a girlfriend if I'm just an option. I told him all of this and he says he understands, but he has yet to give me nay clarification on what we are. He says he just wants to take things slow and not force anything, but he still insists I sleep over. His reasoning is he wants to see how we get along spending a night or a weekend together, and he also likes morning sex. I feel like he wouldn't want to spend all of that time with me if he wasn't interested, but him not willing to make more of a commitment and become exclusive makes me feel like he's not yet sure about me.

One of these things are not like the other one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so he wants an actual girlfriend without really putting any labels and remaining not exclusive. Sneaky! Stick to your guns.
What's the worst that can happen - he'll stop sleeping with you? I don't think so!

OP here. This is why I'm hesitant. Yes, I get the contradiction of having sex but not willing to sleep over, but to me they are different. I love and need sex. I'm very much like a guy that I need that O for stress relief. Sleeping over with any commitment is like I'm letting him know he can have the girlfriend experiencing without naming a commitment. I don't want to spend more time and becoming more invested and interested if he doesn't see this as being longterm.

[Anonymous]

It’s pretty funny that to her sleeping over is more intimate than a actual sex. Back in my younger days I had girlfriends sleep over BEFORE we had sex. And we did stuff certainly. But sleeping over a couple times was a precursor. That developed the connection to be MORE intimate and actually have the most intimate act - PIV.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. If he won’t commit, neither should you. I would also make yourself a little less available, even if your conflicting plans are NetFlix or washing your hair. He can commit or keep walking. And when you do see him, do not stay. Let him feel how it is to be the one to wonder where else you might be going.

[Anonymous]

He wants morning sex. You are a convenient body for him...as he is for you, I presume. If you don't want morning sex, or don't want to use his bathroom, you don't have to stay. Its not as if you are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating a guy for a couple of months. We are not exclusive but I think I'm the only one he is seeing. We have been sleeping together for the past month, but I don't want to sleep over yet. He really wants me to stay the night, but I told him I'm not comfortable with that level of intimacy unless we are exclusive. I want to know what we are and if he sees a relationship with me before I started spending nights and weekends with him. I don't want to act like a girlfriend if I'm just an option. I told him all of this and he says he understands, but he has yet to give me nay clarification on what we are. He says he just wants to take things slow and not force anything, but he still insists I sleep over. His reasoning is he wants to see how we get along spending a night or a weekend together, and he also likes morning sex. I feel like he wouldn't want to spend all of that time with me if he wasn't interested, but him not willing to make more of a commitment and become exclusive makes me feel like he's not yet sure about me.

He's using you, girl. No doubt about it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's using you, girl. No doubt about it!

She's using him, too, no doubt about it.

("I love and need sex. I'm very much like a guy that I need that O for stress relief.")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so he wants an actual girlfriend without really putting any labels and remaining not exclusive. Sneaky! Stick to your guns.
What's the worst that can happen - he'll stop sleeping with you? I don't think so!

OP here. This is why I'm hesitant. Yes, I get the contradiction of having sex but not willing to sleep over, but to me they are different. I love and need sex. I'm very much like a guy that I need that O for stress relief. Sleeping over with any commitment is like I'm letting him know he can have the girlfriend experiencing without naming a commitment. I don't want to spend more time and becoming more invested and interested if he doesn't see this as being longterm.

This makes zero sense. Your sleeping time is your sleeping time; it doesn't count as "spending time" with someone. You can be on your way early in the morning if you so wish. You can sleep over with a different guy the next night and still be on your way in the morning.

To a guy, it makes zero sense that you have sex with him without commitment but won't stay over without one. He'll think you're weird and coy for no reason.

Nobody starts DCUM threads about stress relief.