One child in private, one in public. No special needs. Anyone doing this?

[Anonymous]

I have a son (in K) who I started in a private that ends in 5th grade.

I have a younger DD who will start K in 2012.

I am thinking of leaving the son in the private (he is beyond happy) and putting the DD in the local public for K in a couple of years. They will all end up in private in 6th.

Is this unfair? Has anyone else done this? FWIW, I think the DD will handle the hustle and bustle of local PS BETTER than the first EVER would, but it feels unfair.

It would be done solely to save money.

Would the fair thing to be to move the son to 1st grade at the local PS next year (while DD is in preschool) and make everything fair?

HELP!

TIA!

[Anonymous]

OP, we will do what you are doing. No guilt.
I do not assume that private is better, just different.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you've evaluated things thoroughly, and have a great solution that is best for everyone. You know your children's needs, as well as your financial situation. Seems like you're doing a wonderful job of thinking outside the box. As pp said, no guilt!

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine. I'm being sexist here, but feel that boys often do better in a private setting whereas girls often excel in public school. Treating children equally doesn't mean you have to treat them identically. They are individuals.

[Anonymous]

If a family cannot afford to have 2 children in private school then feeling guilty about it doesn't change the reality...one child will continue in private and the other in public. But, rationalization is tonic for the psyche. We all do this.

[Anonymous]

Gin and tonic is even better.
I know families who've done this.
It worked for them, it should for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the DD will handle the hustle and bustle of local PS BETTER than the first EVER would, but it feels unfair.

It would be done solely to save money.

She might handle it, but will she thrive? Is it the best choice for her? Is she expecting to go to the same school as her brother? (My 4-year-old is--and even wants the same kindergarten teacher.)

If it feels unfair to you, it might feel unfair to her, either now or later in life.

[Anonymous]

My oldest brother went private all the way (preschool through college) and I went public- no issues whatsoever and we both ended up successful professionals (he's a lawyer and I'm a doctor). My parents never had to explain when we were kids why they made their choices. I think he would have struggled in a larger public school and benefited from the smaller private schools he attended.

[Anonymous]

Is it worth the hassle of two schools? I think if you think it is worth the hassle/cost of the private school for your son b/c of his particular needs then it makes sense, though it does seem like a special need to me.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My younger DD is still to young for me to really know what she needs, but her temperment is so "roll with it" you know? Whereas the son, well, not so much. He is VERY orderly, pretty anxious, and quite rule-oriented. The private school fits him to a tee.

I am willing to allow that my DD may also thrive in the same or different private, BUT she may also be great in a more dynamic and busy environment (i.e. DCPS). It also helps to me know that by time DD goes to K, she will be going to a newly renovated school...lots more space and room to move. I know the infrastructure is only one piece of the puzzle, but I personally feel better about better facilities and more room for the overcrowded students.

It is helpful to hear people's opinions on this. I get into thinking ONE way about something (all things equal for ALL kids), but I am starting to learn you can have fair and different. It works with single sex education, why should this be different.

[Anonymous]

It sounds sexist to me.

[Anonymous]

12:56 is trying to get this thread rolling. Resist the temptation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it worth the hassle of two schools? I think if you think it is worth the hassle/cost of the private school for your son b/c of his particular needs then it makes sense, though it does seem like a special need to me.

OP here. This really got me thinking. I have been dealing with my child's anxieties for SO long, that I think I forget that he MAY really be kind of special needs, in his own way. I always think of the more typical "special needs" (ADD, ADHD, learning disabilities) but anxiety is as much a part of that as anything else. He has never been diagnosed, although everyone involved with him will acknowledge this about him. So, maybe he really does NEED this school, more than I think. We have worked really hard on the anxiety and it has gotten worlds better, but he certainly is not the average child.

Hmmm...

[Anonymous]

12.56 here. No, I am not trying to get this thread rolling. A parent sends her boy to a high quality private school and her daughter to the school that was not good enough for her son, it seems sexist to me. That was my honest knee jerk response with no other motives. If you do not like my opinion, that is fine, we can agree to respectfully disagree, but you do not get to simply dismiss my view. Perhaps, my response makes you uncomfortable. Is it the possibly of truth in it that offends you?

[Anonymous]

I have to say, my in-laws did the opposite (DH went public, SIL private), and he was very resentful.