How much did your parents help you?

[Anonymous]

How much did your parents help you with college admissions? If you have kids, how much does that compare to how much you are helping or helped your child?

My parents paid for admissions fees, paid for college visits, and generally encouraged me to get good grades. I think my dad may have bought me an ACT prep book? I see parents on this forum who are so involved in admissions (asking what their kids should wear to interviews, which schools to apply to, which classes to take in both high school and college, general strategizing, etc) and I am kind of shocked.

But at the same time, I can easily foresee my being just as involved, and DD is in fifth grade.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, application fees, not admission fees.

[Anonymous]

My parents wrote my admissions deposit and dropped me at college that’s it.

We provide SAT / ACT tutoring because our kids asked. We paid for undergraduate education.

Our kids worked since age 16 part time jobs summer and Christmas breaks from college.

They did all their college applications. We felt if they wanted to go they needed to handle everything. This meant us letting go of some schools we thought they should apply to.

The more they do on their own more successful they will be long term.

[Anonymous]

My parents took me to visit a few colleges and paid for an SAT class, but otherwise didn't help much at all. They didn't read my essays.

[Anonymous]

My parents, maybe others, were far less worried about my future than I am about my kids.

The economy is different and this is the first US generation that will OVERALL (not everyone obviously) not be as well off as their parents. A college education is the one thing that seems to pay off in terms of future earnings and opportunity. Parents may not articulate it, but the anxiety about their future is all around us.

Families are also smaller than they used to be. So more parental attention to go around now than when we were kids.

I was relatively hands off with my older DS who is in college now. I've realized that my younger DS (10th grade now) will probably need more prodding and guidance if he wants to go to college straight out of high school. They are simply wired differently.

[Anonymous]

I went to university in Europe and the process is simpler there, and tuition and fees are minimal. My parents helped me nonetheless and paid for everything.

My oldest has special needs and we anticipate holding his hand during the entire process (US or Canada).

[Anonymous]

My parents did nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. They wouldn't even give me financial documents so I could get aid. My husband's parents did nothing until he got his LLM and then he received a loan for tuition which he paid back. We are paying all expenses for both of our children to go to private college/university.

[Anonymous]

I agree that kids are better off doing as much as possible by themselves, just as many of us did 30+ years ago. But, the process and competition for the elite schools are completely different than 30 years ago. I don't blame parents who feel they need to go over the top for their kids. Because if you think we have a winner-take-all society, the rewards/privileges of having the most exclusive educational credentials seem especially important and worth investing. Unfortunately, that also means that your money and social capital has a much bigger influence on your children's material well-being than their schooling.

[Anonymous]

They paid for my application fees, which generally ranged between $50-60 each at the time (mid 90s.) They never really set a limit as to how many I could apply to (I ended up applying to 8.)

I filled out most of the application myself; there was a section on some where you were required to state your parents/household income, and my parents were unwilling to tell me that information. So they had me fill out the entire application, then as a very last step they filled out the income part and put in the envelope and sealed it.

I wish they had allowed me to do more college visits. We lived in California. My dad grew up in Ohio and his parents were still living there (when I was a teen) so the summer before senior year we went out to visit them, and my parents took me to visit Miami of Ohio (where my dad went) and also Notre Dame (my first choice school.) I had no interest in Miami but they forced me to visit since we were there.
I wanted to visit some of the California schools I applied to, but they wouldn't let me.

[Anonymous]

My mom didn't do anything for me. She didn't know about the college process. She is not from this country. Never encouraged me to get good grades. She just said it be nice if I went to college and got a degree so I wouldnt have to work the type of jobs she had to. She worked 2 shifts my entire life.

With my kids I encourage them to get good grades, if they need help I'd pay for tutor. Will pay for college applications fees and travel. I am looking forward to visiting colleges with them. They have a college fund that should cover a portion of tuition and the rest they will have to pay off.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for everything (I mean, I had no money), took me to visit some colleges, and I got a little SAT pressure from my mom. I went to a competitive/challenging private school, so we had a college counselor who helped everyone through the process.

[Anonymous]

Everything but things were cheaper in 1940s.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for sat tutoring — my verbal sat score was around 400 the first the and I got it up to 540. This was the early 80s. My parents paid the application fees and took me to two colleges. I typed my own applications.

For DD, no sat prep (she got 1400 without prep). I paid the application fees, and had to yell at her to get off her ass and finish up the final application. That is the school she will go to.

[Anonymous]

My parents did very little except for pay for fees. They also bought me a Princeton’s guide book to colleges and I POURED over it for hours every week. I was self motivated to go to college. I wasn’t the best student, but couldn’t wait to go. I did my own applications, decided my own major and don’t remember needing their advice too much except for FA forms.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I paid my own fees. I think my mom might have paid the postage on applications, though.