How much did your parents help you?

[Anonymous]

My parents took me on campus tours, bought Peterson Guide to colleges and had me go through it to find possible schools. We lived in MA and planned college tours when we visited family in Iowa and Virginia in addition to many of the ones in MA. So, I saw quite a few schools and interviewed at a few before my senior year.

They helped go over my application before they were submitted. They let me pick which school I wanted to go to and paid for it. They put me in charge of funding my pocket money and persona expenses. When I graduated from HS and turned 18, I was put in charge of my college funds. It was 1982-86- so 529s were not around and the college fund was in accounts that they had established in my name. They did the same for my sister.

[Anonymous]

My parents were not at all involved. I paid my way through college with scholarships, financial aid, and a job. We didn't even do college visits. As for the SAT prep, they didn't even buy me a book. My older siblings had one that was given to her 5 years prior, but it had all the answers marked in. I used it anyway for my study guide and scored a 1490. This was back in the mid 90's.

I don't plan to do this with my kids, and will take the middle road in helping them, only because they both have ADHD and will likely need some assistance.

[Anonymous]

Mine paid for application fees and bought me a SAT prep book. I went on two college visits which I arranged by myself and went on with a friend. I filled out all my applications myself. I signed myself up to take the SAT. My parents were happy to pay for whatever I needed, but did none of the actual planning or anything else.

I see myself nagging my children slightly more about studying for SATs, and arranging college tours. I do not plan on helping them fill out applications, write essays, or anything like that. And I will pay for what they need, but they can put in the actual work themselves.

[Anonymous]

Times are so much different now than when those who entered college in the late 80s/90s had to go through this process. It's like comparing apples to oranges.

There was no internet, no Naviance, no DCUM, no CollegeConfidential, etc. The ability to research ANY COLLEGE across the US alone is substantial knowledge that nobody had all those years ago. And let's face it...it's mostly parents who are researching/posting here on DCUM and CollegeConfidential. It's extremely hard not to when it's all at your fingertips and especially in the DCUM region filled with helicopter parents (of which I admit I have been at times).

Did my parents (who came from another country) help me? Well, I was a first generation kid to go to college so with their limited knowledge of the process and limited financial means....no, I did not have any SAT tutoring/prep and no tutoring at all in HS. I don't even recall meeting with my school counselor at all regarding the process - which was all by paper back then.

My parents simply insisted that I do go to college no matter what. I didn't really do any college visits except for one....for some odd reason I had it in my head that I wanted to go to school in NC. A good friend was looking at Elon and because my mom loved me and wanted to humor me, she took me to visit Elon.

My stats were not great and I'm certain I had/have ADD -- GPA was 3.2 and my SAT score was disastrous as it didn't even reach 1000. Again, no tutoring ever and I only took the SAT once. I only applied to 1-2 schools and was denied. I went to Marymount Univ. for 1 year and then transferred to JMU. So it all turned out ok.

My parents sacrificed and paid for the college applications and all 4 yrs of college.

Now...fast forward to a time with internet access and the ability to research any colleges in the US...access to Naviance, DCUM, CollegeConfidential, etc.

I wanted to help my kids the way my parents could not - so, yes, I paid for tutoring for DC (also having ADD) and paid for SAT prep classes for both kids (and actually Grandma helped pay half). Paid for them to take multiple SATs and/or ACTs. Took both on many college visits - planned during Spring Break and Summer. Helped them research all colleges of interest to them. Paid for all college applications and transcripts - but mainly because I wanted them to save their money to go toward college expenses.

Also plan to pay for majority of college for both with minor loans needed though...which I plan to help pay off.

[Anonymous]

I was born in another country and moved here as a child with my parents. They were not directly involved in the college admissions process, except to pay the fees and to provide me with their financial information for financial aid. My dad also took me for a visit to the school I ultimately chose to attend.

That being said, my parents sent me to excellent schools, including an exclusive private high school that had an amazing college counseling department. So, it's not like I was some scrappy independent bootstrap puller upper. Between the college counselors at my high school and my extremely privileged and ambitious classmates, I was very knowledgeable about the admissions process and had a lot of guidance.

[Anonymous]

My parents took us on tours, gave us college guide books, listened as we bounced around ideas of where to apply and my dad insisted on my visiting one college because it was his favorite place to recruit. However, neither of them went to college and my dad had a strong bias against Ivy League schools so he definitely discouraged those. They didn't review my applications or read my essays.

The could pay for college but did not see the value in paying a lot for an OOS/private school so I applied to CA colleges and a (in retrospect) a pretty random set of OOS schools that said they'd give scholarships because I was a NMF but in the end those scholarships were pretty small vs cost of attendance so I ended up happy at the in-state school my dad made me visit.

I'm definitely more hands-on than my parents but I have a boy who is an excellent student but has ADHD and is a bit overwhelmed by where to start. So I'm providing a lot more guidance on thinking through his list, we paid for an SAT prep class, and am considering having him work with a writing tutor we've used in the past to help with the essays. I will not be filling out applications but fully expect to do my motherly job of nagging him about getting them done early

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't do jack to help me. Didn't give me a dime towards college either.

For my kids? I have a HS junior and I am totally on it. Part of it is he's a typical teen boy, who has more important things to do like basketball and Fortnite, part of it is definitely a reaction to my parents 0% involvement.

I also have a 529 for my kids and my intention is to be paying for at least half of undergrad.

[Anonymous]

My parents bought me a college guide book and told me to find some good matches. I did SAT prep as an elective in school. They were very hands off with me choosing a school and supportive when I wanted advice, but didn't push too much. They took me to see colleges when it worked out, and we took a few special trips to see 1 or 2.

They paid for everything while I was in school, and thought my job during that time was to be a student. They let me decide what to do with my summers (work, fun, etc).

I was very fortunate and I think made good choices. This was in the late 90s.

[Anonymous]

Zilch. No envolvement whatsoever. No pressure, encouragement, nothing. I did it all myself and figured it all out on my own. I researched where I wanted to go to school, moved myself down to FL, worked for a year and went to CC, got residency and transferred into the university. I paid for it all with loans and a job and it took me six years, but I did it.

[Anonymous]

My parents did not help me much, other than telling me that I could not go to school in California and forbidding me from applying for a paid internship halfway across the country. (They were a bit protective). I did, however, have a very helpful guidance counselor at my private school and teachers who had graduated from a wide variety of colleges and universities. I also had friends who were older students whom I saw go off to prestigious places. My high school announced every single college acceptance at our weekly assembly. So, I was very college-aware without any parental involvement.
Fast-forward to 2020: My DD is at a high school with only 40% of graduates going straight to four-year colleges. The guidance counselors don't seem that knowledgeable about the nuances of different colleges. My family cannot afford more than approx. $20,000/year for college, but DD is talented. You bet that I am involved. I honestly don't know how DD would have figured out which colleges offer the best merit aid and financial aid on her own, without frittering precious time on the Internet.

[Anonymous]

I think parents have to be more involved now due to the changes in 529s, financial aid, and student loans. For example, most on DCUM do not qualify for financial aid. So the first step to funding in gaps between 529s, $5500 load, and college expenses is to have a Parent Plus Loan. It doesn't automatically default back to the student.

My son identified potential colleges, completed his essay, and SAT prep & testing all through his school (MCPS/Naviance). From there I organized a spreadsheet for the both of us to look at. We are a middle class family, so college is not fully funded, despite our efforts to save. My husband and I helped him to identify out of state colleges that are more within our budget, and in state colleges. He applied to one private, which offered automatic aid. I simply cannot afford to tell him he can go where ever he gets accepted. The financial burden is too great for us and for him.

I completed the financial aspect of common app, and he completed the student sections. Now we are working together to identify scholarship opportunities. I'm not driving the process on my own, writing essays, or controlling the process, but I am there to help keep organized and focused. He also works outside of school (is saving), plays a winter sport, and has a full class load. He usually only has a few hours each week to fit college application items. So for us, it's very much a collaboration. He would be, and has been, overwhelmed without guidance. I find that completely understandable, because it is stressful and a cluster F at many points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parents have to be more involved now due to the changes in 529s, financial aid, and student loans. For example, most on DCUM do not qualify for financial aid. So the first step to funding in gaps between 529s, $5500 load, and college expenses is to have a Parent Plus Loan. It doesn't automatically default back to the student.

My son identified potential colleges, completed his essay, and SAT prep & testing all through his school (MCPS/Naviance). From there I organized a spreadsheet for the both of us to look at. We are a middle class family, so college is not fully funded, despite our efforts to save. My husband and I helped him to identify out of state colleges that are more within our budget, and in state colleges. He applied to one private, which offered automatic aid. I simply cannot afford to tell him he can go where ever he gets accepted. The financial burden is too great for us and for him.

I completed the financial aspect of common app, and he completed the student sections. Now we are working together to identify scholarship opportunities. I'm not driving the process on my own, writing essays, or controlling the process, but I am there to help keep organized and focused. He also works outside of school (is saving), plays a winter sport, and has a full class load. He usually only has a few hours each week to fit college application items. So for us, it's very much a collaboration. He would be, and has been, overwhelmed without guidance. I find that completely understandable, because it is stressful and a cluster F at many points.

+1 almost word for word except no sport ... it's not that DC doesn't have time but everything is so overblown now, many choices, can miss financial aid deadlines with 10-15 schools to apply to ... it's basically teaching them along the way how to plan, analyze, organize, and execute such important life decisions

[Anonymous]

My parents did ZERO .. they wouldn't even pay an application fee nor did they pay for tuition and my dad "made too much money" to get any loans. We were all on our own. So when I had a kid I did everything humanly possible to help our DD. Worked out really well. I don't think people should have kids if they can't afford to send them to college.

[Anonymous]

Zero

[Anonymous]

My parents took me to one or two colleges. They paid ~5% of my tuition, which is the sum total of their involvement. No discussion as to how to pay for application fees (which I funded through my $3.35/hr. part-time job), or books, or the many things I needed for my dorm room. I was first-generation to go, so they didn't know any better. But because of that demoralizing experience, I plan to be more proactive and have already started researching schools, SAT prep, etc., even though my DD is only a freshman.