Should I just proceed with caution?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been a few dates with this great guy. He’s the first man who has piqued my interest in a very long while. Last night he had made dinner for us. He excused himself to go the restroom when he received this message. He had left his phone on the bar counter top while cooking and I was sitting right there at the bar. I saw he sent a text saying “I’m sorry to hear about your family it breaks my heart. I just wish we could’ve lived together and started our lives together.” and the reply, the message that came in, said “I feel the same way”. There was more to it but I wasn’t able to see the rest.

So I’ve been thinking about this. To me it sounds like he’s just worried about her (sorry to hear about your family). Also sounds like he does not want her back because he said, “I wish we could have”. That sounds like a yea that’s cool, but it’s never going to happen and he wasn’t trying to make it work because he would’ve said let’s fix this to her or something along those lines. This is just how I perceived it.

Should I just proceed with caution?

[Anonymous]

I would proceed with caution for now. Sounds like her family suffered a loss and maybe he just didn't know how to word a sympathetic text. I mean, you saw the text thread. Were there more texts or anything to indicate they've been talking more?

[Anonymous]

Something happened that stopped them from living together but they both wish they could have. In my mind he is not over this person yet. So if you really like him and feel like its mutual I wouldnt cut it off but I would definitely be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would proceed with caution for now. Sounds like her family suffered a loss and maybe he just didn't know how to word a sympathetic text. I mean, you saw the text thread. Were there more texts or anything to indicate they've been talking more?

No. If she lost a family member he could’ve just left it at sorry to hear about your family and given his condolences. There was no need to say I wish we could’ve started our lives together. That last part was unnecessary if he didn’t want her back.

[Anonymous]

This guy is not for you if you’re looking for a relationship, he clearly is into another women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This guy is not for you if you’re looking for a relationship, he clearly is into another women.

How so? You can still care about your ex and not be into them/want them back.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I wouldn't. My ex had an issue with staying in contact with exs. I caught him repeatedly during the relationship doing so, but didn't know why he was defensive until he finally admitted what was going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I wouldn't. My ex had an issue with staying in contact with exs. I caught him repeatedly during the relationship doing so, but didn't know why he was defensive until he finally admitted what was going on.

Was he contacting many exes or just the one? Was he just trying get some a$$ or were there feelings involved?

[Anonymous]

He’s on a date with someone and couldn’t wait a couple of hours to respond back. He just HAD to text back that he wished he had lived with someone WHILE HE’S ON A DATE???

Move along. This is a waste of your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s on a date with someone and couldn’t wait a couple of hours to respond back. He just HAD to text back that he wished he had lived with someone WHILE HE’S ON A DATE???

Move along. This is a waste of your time.

No SHE was responding to him. He was cooking the entire time and hadn’t touched his phone.

[Anonymous]

"a few dates" = two? And you're already invading his privacy reading his texts - do him a favor and ghost him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"a few dates" = two? And you're already invading his privacy reading his texts - do him a favor and ghost him.

I didn’t invade his privacy. As I said his phone was right there. It went off, I looked down. It’s kind of hard to look away when you’re on a date and see a message that says “I feel the same way”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I wouldn't. My ex had an issue with staying in contact with exs. I caught him repeatedly during the relationship doing so, but didn't know why he was defensive until he finally admitted what was going on.

Was he contacting many exes or just the one? Was he just trying get some a$$ or were there feelings involved?

Don't know, but it was definitely an ex or exs.

If she was responding to him then you have the answer. He'll just be using you to get over her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I wouldn't. My ex had an issue with staying in contact with exs. I caught him repeatedly during the relationship doing so, but didn't know why he was defensive until he finally admitted what was going on.

Was he contacting many exes or just the one? Was he just trying get some a$$ or were there feelings involved?

Don't know, but it was definitely an ex or exs.

If she was responding to him then you have the answer. He'll just be using you to get over her.

So? Doesn’t it mean it won’t work out. You can meet someone who helps you forget your ex and you end up genius liking them at the same time. It’s happened to me before. As long as he doesn’t want her back then it should be fine for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"a few dates" = two? And you're already invading his privacy reading his texts - do him a favor and ghost him.

I didn’t invade his privacy. As I said his phone was right there. It went off, I looked down. It’s kind of hard to look away when you’re on a date and see a message that says “I feel the same way”

No, it's not hard and you did invade his privacy. Did you read his mail too? Is he on any medication? You didn't know what it said until you crossed a line.