Is it worth it for me to work?

[Anonymous]

I'm a married mom with kids ages 5 and 7.

My youngest started Kindergarten this year. i currently work a very part-time job, around 5 hours a week, in my field. I'd like to find something more substantial and have been job searching for 4 months now, but haven't found anything.

DH works a very high-powered job and financially we don't need my salary. Due to his work hours, he cannot do any drop-offs, pick-ups, sick days or snow days. He also can't really cover any school vacations. He gets 5 weeks vacation per year, all of which he takes. He's been in the same job for 15 years and plans to keep the same job until retirement, so none of this will ever change.

We have no local family for backup and have never had any childcare help. Working full-time is probably out of the question because I'd need to have before care, after care and figure out something for sick days and snow days, since DH can never cover these.

I'm looking for part-time in my field, but for every 30 full-time jobs there's one part-time job, and the part-time jobs pay around $15 per hour, which seems a bit low. I'm currently making $70 per hour, which is unusual in my field.

What would you do? My kids are now in full-time school and I'm finding my 5 hour per week job isn't enough anymore (though it's in my field). I spent most days cleaning, grocery shopping, shopping and going out for lunch, and it feels a bit like my days are lacking in purpose.

[Anonymous]

How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.

[Anonymous]

Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.

[Anonymous]

You do what single moms do.
Work full time but at a flexible job where you can WFH a day or two now and then. You get aftercare. You get camps.
You have it so much better then us still, I am sure you can do it. But I am also sure you will not, because it is easier to just live like you do now.
I see too many moms like you and usually they just blah blah blah about how they just cannot find a suitable job. Nothing ever comes of it.

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to jealous negativity. Sounds like you enjoy your life. Someone has to run things and it is you. I too would look into volunteering or finding a class you would like to take. Enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I would go back to school, take classes and get a certification to see if you can get a work from home type job.

At your kids ages they can mostly entertain themselves for sick days/snow days so you can still work. Obviously outsource cleaning and other drudgery so you’re not wasting time with that - though you probably do that already.

[Anonymous]

Being financially dependent on your DH is not a good idea IMO. I'm a glass is half empty person in this situation due to my own experiences growing up. I'm a single parent so I don't have the luxury of asking the question of whether it is worth it. I just would not be comfortable not having my own income possibly for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

OP - in a similar situation I found volunteer work and tried out some activities, and became a better cook. In the end I was able to fill my day with supporting activities.

[Anonymous]

Not to do anything to identify yourself but broadly-what is your field? If there's a way to create your own job, finding a niche that you can support.

[Anonymous]

Wtf. If your husband has such a high powered job that he basically can’t do any childcare, then you should be able to afford a nanny. Stop acting like you have to do all of the snow days, sick days, drop off’s, etc. You don’t. You can outsource that. Now, if you don’t want to work, that’s another story. But don’t act like you can’t hire someone to do things so that you can have a career too.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been working 15-20 hours a week for over 20 years. It has been perfect for our family. I considered ramping up to full time when the youngest left for college. But we decided against it. It’s nice to have one person available to take care of things at home. It just makes life easier for everyone.

[Anonymous]

It makes absolutely no sense to give up a 5 hour a week at 70 an hour job to work more hours for $15 an hour. You'd have to work 5 hours to make what you do in 1. absurd.

get a hobby or volunteer if you need to fill your time.

[Anonymous]

Keep working the 5 hour a week job. Find some volunteer positions. Unless you would prefer to work full time, in which case, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.

I’m guessing a preplanned vacation works differently for his schedule than a random snow day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.

This. You have an ideal situation. You are able to be home full time and take care of any and all sick days/snow days/holidays/teacher work days plus you still have your foot in the door working very part time at a very well paying job in your field.

I would keep on doing exactly what you're doing for now. Your husband can use his leave to go with you and the kids on nice family vacations and to visit out of state relatives.

Adding on more hours of work at quite possibly less pay per hour is only going to complicate your life and add a layer of stress that you quite frankly do not need. You can't compare yourself to a single parent because single parents almost always have full time back up childcare in place. In your situation, you do not have before/after school in place, you are the one who provides childcare on sick days/holidays/snow days and during the summer. If you went back to work even PT, 20 hours a week, you would have to find childcare every time a snow day/sick day came up...not to mention summer vacation/winter break/spring break.