Is it worth it for me to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financially, your way better off keeping your 5 hour a week part time job and simply finding something else to occupy your time or interests such as volunteering.

This is exactly what I was going to say. Keep the job, but add on if you find you are lacking purpose. When money isn't an issue, that volunteer work can be anything you find interesting, it doesn't need to advance your career. I personally started volunteering in a long term care unit at a hospital and it brought me a lot of personal satisfaction and meaning when my children were in school. The community is eager for volunteers that can make a regular commitment - it might take some time to find the right fit but there are options out there, from grief counseling centers to the Red Cross to animal shelters.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to recognize that in your situation, you would not be working for the money but rather for the fulfillment. That means that even if your entire takehome, plus more, is used to pay for childcare, it might be worth it. But that depends entirely on what you want.

FWIW, there are similarities between my situation as yours. DH has a demanding job that more than meets our financial needs. While he has a tiny bit of flexibility to take unscheduled days off, he travels a lot and generally, due to nature of his work, has difficulty being the last minute person for sick days etc. I have a FT, WAH, flexible job with both kids in school, and we still have a FT nanny/house manager who does basic household tasks like grocery shopping, pick-up and drop-off, and sick days/school holidays. While right now my take-home more than covers her salary, I am considering a career move that would cut my pay significantly such that it would barely cover (and maybe even not cover) her salary. DH and I still think it would be worth the change and her salary, because of the long-term personal and intellectual stimulation it would buy me.

You just have to consider what your priorities and values are. DH happens to find satisfaction from his high-paying job...I don't really find it from mine. But if our combined incomes make it possible, it's worth paying for childcare in any circumstance if it enables us both to have fulfilling professional lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t listen to jealous negativity. Sounds like you enjoy your life. Someone has to run things and it is you. I too would look into volunteering or finding a class you would like to take. Enjoy.

OP here. Yes, I have looked into volunteering and I have interviewed at some volunteer places in the last few months. But while i could find a volunteer position generally in my field, it's just a support role. So I'm not sure how fulfilling that would be. i've tried to find more "professional volunteer" opportunities but have not been able to do so yet. So I haven't accepted any volunteer jobs yet.

You could foster a seeing eye dog, join Big Brothers/Big Sisters, help deliver meals for the elderly, food prep at a soup kitchen, walk dogs at the shelter or organize adoption days. Check into local government - our offers volunteer opportunities from PR to event planning to the board of health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a married mom with kids ages 5 and 7.

My youngest started Kindergarten this year. i currently work a very part-time job, around 5 hours a week, in my field. I'd like to find something more substantial and have been job searching for 4 months now, but haven't found anything.

DH works a very high-powered job and financially we don't need my salary. Due to his work hours, he cannot do any drop-offs, pick-ups, sick days or snow days. He also can't really cover any school vacations. He gets 5 weeks vacation per year, all of which he takes. He's been in the same job for 15 years and plans to keep the same job until retirement, so none of this will ever change.

We have no local family for backup and have never had any childcare help. Working full-time is probably out of the question because I'd need to have before care, after care and figure out something for sick days and snow days, since DH can never cover these.

I'm looking for part-time in my field, but for every 30 full-time jobs there's one part-time job, and the part-time jobs pay around $15 per hour, which seems a bit low. I'm currently making $70 per hour, which is unusual in my field.

What would you do? My kids are now in full-time school and I'm finding my 5 hour per week job isn't enough anymore (though it's in my field). I spent most days cleaning, grocery shopping, shopping and going out for lunch, and it feels a bit like my days are lacking in purpose.

'

I would push myself through whatever phase you are going through right now, and keep working 5 hours a week at $70/hr. There is no way I would add the stress of another working parent (with drop offs, pick ups and everything you are ALREADY DOING) and you guys don't need the money (AND you are working in your field if you needed to ramp up to full time for whatever reason).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like quite the pampered prince, OP. Never troubled by the realities of having kids (although I’m sure the family photo is a nice accessory on his desk), everyone else runs their lives around getting the five weeks of vacation he “needs” to relax from his job.

Not OP, but have a very similar situation. It's not about being a pampered prince, it's about making concessions for the main bread winner to do their job. My husband works 6 days a week. It is far more important for him to be able to work until 7pm at night then telling his clients who urgently need him that he can't help them because my daughter needs to go to ballet class or swim lesson. We have a great life but I shoulder the responsibilities for our DD, the house, errands, groceries, etc... I work 12 hours a week and I do need flexibility.

Advice to OP, keep the 5 hour a week gig. Find something else that you want to do. I want to start a non profit that donates gently used children's books to underserved communities. Find something with people, pets, environment, etc... that feeds your soul. If you chose to do something, you can choose when, where, etc...

[Anonymous]

I would keep your current job and then ramp up your PtA volunteer hours.

[Anonymous]

You can justify anything you want, and of course continue to stay home and work 5 hours a week, but don't act like you have no choice. You have plenty of choices, you just don't like them.

[Anonymous]

$15/hr x 20 hrs is $300/week, pretax
$70/hr x 5 hrs is $350/week, pretax.

You have a very good deal right now. I wouldn't leave it for anything short of a unicorn.

[Anonymous]

I’m not really understanding the problem here.

You describe yourself as bored, drifting, lacking purpose.

Get a full time job and hire more childcare.

Boom, done. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.

OP here. All of DH's vacations have to be scheduled in advance and he cannot take any last minute days off from work. In the 15 years he's been in this job, he only took one last minute day off, when he had a bad flu.

It just seems like it would be a waste of money for us to get a full-time nanny or au pair, when we only need one for sick day/snow day coverage, or before and after care. Besides that, we don't need the nanny/au pair because kids are in full-day school. If I worked full-time the most I would make would be around 70 K per year. And I don't feel comfortable with a nanny or au pair for sick days.

The only reason I have such a high-paying 5 hour a week job is because it's a PRN job (no benefits, as needed work) so they have to pay a lot per hour since otherwise no one would be interested in this type of job.

I've been sending out resumes and I've had a few interviews but overall, the part-time jobs in my field pay very poorly ($15 per hour at the most) and I seem to be overqualified for them, because I'm not getting many interviews for these part-time jobs.

Ok now you’re just being cheap.

If you want to work (and you should, you sound bored), here a housekeeper type person. This person can clean and cook dinner during the day and watch your kids in the afternoon while you’re at work.

Be prepared to pay 40-50k plus benefits.

Worth it though for you to use your brain again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is he taking 5 weeks of vacation a year, and yet unable to watch his kids for any of it?

Many families use before and after care. Or you could get an au pair, and have sick day/snow day coverage.

I think the question is whether you'd like to work.

OP here. All of DH's vacations have to be scheduled in advance and he cannot take any last minute days off from work. In the 15 years he's been in this job, he only took one last minute day off, when he had a bad flu.

It just seems like it would be a waste of money for us to get a full-time nanny or au pair, when we only need one for sick day/snow day coverage, or before and after care. Besides that, we don't need the nanny/au pair because kids are in full-day school. If I worked full-time the most I would make would be around 70 K per year. And I don't feel comfortable with a nanny or au pair for sick days.

The only reason I have such a high-paying 5 hour a week job is because it's a PRN job (no benefits, as needed work) so they have to pay a lot per hour since otherwise no one would be interested in this type of job.

I've been sending out resumes and I've had a few interviews but overall, the part-time jobs in my field pay very poorly ($15 per hour at the most) and I seem to be overqualified for them, because I'm not getting many interviews for these part-time jobs.

Ok now you’re just being cheap.

If you want to work (and you should, you sound bored), here a housekeeper type person. This person can clean and cook dinner during the day and watch your kids in the afternoon while you’re at work.

Be prepared to pay 40-50k plus benefits.

Worth it though for you to use your brain again.

+1

I hate questions like this. The solution is obvious but they’re too cheap to spend the money.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your DH is getting great career fulfillment - money, power, intellectual stimulation, growing and advancing a career which is so satisfying, but really missing out on family like and the rough-and-tumble of raising kids.

And you get all the joys of parenthood but not career or personal fulfillment. There are no easy answers, I would do some soul searching with DH.

[Anonymous]

No, it is not worth it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like quite the pampered prince, OP. Never troubled by the realities of having kids (although I’m sure the family photo is a nice accessory on his desk), everyone else runs their lives around getting the five weeks of vacation he “needs” to relax from his job.

Not OP, but have a very similar situation. It's not about being a pampered prince, it's about making concessions for the main bread winner to do their job. My husband works 6 days a week. It is far more important for him to be able to work until 7pm at night then telling his clients who urgently need him that he can't help them because my daughter needs to go to ballet class or swim lesson. We have a great life but I shoulder the responsibilities for our DD, the house, errands, groceries, etc... I work 12 hours a week and I do need flexibility.

Advice to OP, keep the 5 hour a week gig. Find something else that you want to do. I want to start a non profit that donates gently used children's books to underserved communities. Find something with people, pets, environment, etc... that feeds your soul. If you chose to do something, you can choose when, where, etc...

It is fine if this is what you've decided as a family, but this is not a universal truth. Others (including possibly your DD) might see the relative importance of things differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sounds like quite the pampered prince, OP. Never troubled by the realities of having kids (although I’m sure the family photo is a nice accessory on his desk), everyone else runs their lives around getting the five weeks of vacation he “needs” to relax from his job.

Not OP, but have a very similar situation. It's not about being a pampered prince, it's about making concessions for the main bread winner to do their job. My husband works 6 days a week. It is far more important for him to be able to work until 7pm at night then telling his clients who urgently need him that he can't help them because my daughter needs to go to ballet class or swim lesson. We have a great life but I shoulder the responsibilities for our DD, the house, errands, groceries, etc... I work 12 hours a week and I do need flexibility.

Advice to OP, keep the 5 hour a week gig. Find something else that you want to do. I want to start a non profit that donates gently used children's books to underserved communities. Find something with people, pets, environment, etc... that feeds your soul. If you chose to do something, you can choose when, where, etc...

Far more important to whom? I doubt this is what your daughter would say. Both of my parents worked full time and my husband and I both do as well. But I knew and my kids know that they are more important than our jobs, despite the fact that we both have pretty high-powered careers and earn a lot of money and have clients facing billion dollar issues. This is just sad, PP. I hope you can see that.