I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure they can hear you.

[Anonymous]

Most of the post describes the chores your kids do. Doesn't really fit with your title. Chores are just another word for the work that needs to be done to clean up after the people in the house and to maintain a clean, reasonably tidy home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!

OK. You sound as preachy as the parents you're making fun of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too?

OP I agree with this generally. Some parents have to start earlier, though. If your kid has ADHD it could take years of learning. So those parents have to start when their kids are younger. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the post describes the chores your kids do. Doesn't really fit with your title. Chores are just another word for the work that needs to be done to clean up after the people in the house and to maintain a clean, reasonably tidy home.

Agreed.

Just because you don’t call them chores, make a dramatic to do about it when family isn’t around doesn’t mean your kids aren’t in fact doing chores.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.

[Anonymous]

Your kids are doing chores and helping you are just calling it something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!

OK. You sound as preachy as the parents you're making fun of.

+1. What a perfect parent you are, OP!

[Anonymous]

My niece really doesn’t do any chores. She drops her clothes wherever she takes them off at. She doesn’t even bother to wipe toothpaste out of the sink, and she wouldn’t dream of taking out trash.

They have a full time house cleaner.

My niece is absolutely a spoiled brat, and only surface nice to those she deems below her. It’s gross. Her parents are very caring, but leaving their kids to not assist with anything did them no favors.

[Anonymous]

Your kids do chores, OP. You just described all they do. My kid does chores - he keeps his room tidy, changes his sheets, sets and clears the table, and does bathrooms or vacuuming or sweeping when I ask. Chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.

That is great but for every story like that there is one a student that goes off to college and can not do laundry. At all No clue.

That was my nephew. No need for that. Just have the kid do laundry and other basic chore before you send him off do he not so helpless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.

That is great but for every story like that there is one a student that goes off to college and can not do laundry. At all No clue.

That was my nephew. No need for that. Just have the kid do laundry and other basic chore before you send him off do he not so helpless.

Some colleges have laundry service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t do chores growing up. Like, at all. We had a maid who came every day so I didn’t even make my bed. I don’t recall ever doing anything with the dishwasher. We had gardeners so I didn’t have to worry about anything outside. I did take care of feeding the dog but I liked the dog. I cooked and baked but only when I wanted to. I am now a fully successful adult with a very clean and organized house who cooks a lot although I work out of the house full time. I do make my kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper and pick up their toys and stuff and they generally make their beds every morning during the school week but that’s about it for now. I agree with you that this is not the most popular approach but honestly I’m not worried that they won’t be able to figure out how to do things on their own when the time comes. I don’t think one needs over a decade of laundry and other household chores to learn how to do them. I mean, they aren’t hard.

It isn't just about learning how to do them. For many people it is about being a family and apart of a household and everyone having responsibilities related to maintaining that household. Many people want their kids to learn responsibility as well as the mechanics of the individual tasks not just for adulthood but for the present. Many parents don't want to be their children's personal servants with the kids making messes and the parents just running around cleaning it up. In our house, everyone contributes. I am not your personal maid - you clean up after yourself, you help keep the house clean, you contribute to the household, you have responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Your future DIL will be so pleased.