I don’t make my kids do chores. There, I said it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not seeing the effects until they leave the house and live on their own or with another person. So you can’t say it’s working until they actually become independent.

I agree. Anyone with a messy college roommate knows the difference. There’s a big gap of waiting for mom to do it, before being proactive enough to do it yourself, or have someone freak out at you because you live like a slob.

Or as my MIL will say, “John is too busy to do chores. He needs to focus on his career.” Some of you sound exactly like her.
He even laughs at her ridiculousness. That’s who you are raising. He gets it (now), but his two brothers still let their wives do everything.

[Anonymous]

Those are chores Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not seeing the effects until they leave the house and live on their own or with another person. So you can’t say it’s working until they actually become independent.

I agree. Anyone with a messy college roommate knows the difference. There’s a big gap of waiting for mom to do it, before being proactive enough to do it yourself, or have someone freak out at you because you live like a slob.

Or as my MIL will say, “John is too busy to do chores. He needs to focus on his career.” Some of you sound exactly like her.
He even laughs at her ridiculousness. That’s who you are raising. He gets it (now), but his two brothers still let their wives do everything.

If it makes you feel any better, my DD also does not do chores. She is focusing on her career. Hopefully, she will marry one of the enlightened males being raised by good chore distributing moms here!

[Anonymous]

OP: I don't make my kids do chores!
Also OP: *lists all the chores kids do*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I don't make my kids do chores!
Also OP: *lists all the chores kids do*

OP Follow Up: those are not chores!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been seeing so many self-righteous, preachy posts about how important it is to make kids do chores. One lady pulled her step-daughter away from her cousins during the family Christmas party to make her hand wash dishes even though there was a dishwasher available. Then she posted a picture of the child with a message about how important it is to make kids do their fair share of the work. My SIL kept doing the same thing on our family trip - very dramatically pulling her kids away from fun and laughter to help in the kitchen. Then she kept telling us about all the chores they have to do after school every day. SIL does not work.

My kids are teenagers and my rule has always been that we all clean up after ourselves. So my kids clean their rooms, bathrooms, pick up their stuff around the house. They all started doing their own laundry around age 10. They help out with other stuff such as vacuuming and dusting when I actually need their help. But I don’t make them do weekly chores just because. Vacuuming, mopping, and dusting are not difficult. They don’t need 18 years of practice before living on their own. They have the rest of their lives to do that stuff so why make them do it throughout childhood too? My oldest is a freshman in college. She has never been interested in learning to cook. Her siblings enjoy it so they have more experience than she does. She will move into an apartment next year so I will teach her how to cook this summer. If she won’t take the time to learn then she will struggle next year. We call that natural consequences, which has always been more effective with my kids than random chores such as hand-washing dishes unnecessarily. My kids have all turned out to be extremely independent and self-sufficient. I believe that this is partially due to our rule of taking care of themselves.

Anyway, to each their own, but I just wanted to share my perspective since I have seen and heard so much from the chore-loving parents lately!

From my reading, it seems that your kids have msny chores! If they had none then you would be doing everything for them. You are confused!

[Anonymous]

Chores are household tasks. Every household has different tasks. The chores your kids have are cleaning up after themselves. I don’t see why you’re trying to start something when you’re not really any different... what is the point of this post?

[Anonymous]

you may not call it a chore, but cleaning after yourself is a task/chore. this includes any mess you've contributed to, including putting your dishes away, bathroom clean up, vacuuming, etc.

no one is saying it's rocket science hard or takes years of practice. it's more about building good habits early, to be responsible adults vs trying to break bad habits later - again, not rocket science logic here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the post describes the chores your kids do. Doesn't really fit with your title. Chores are just another word for the work that needs to be done to clean up after the people in the house and to maintain a clean, reasonably tidy home.

Agreed.

Just because you don’t call them chores, make a dramatic to do about it when family isn’t around doesn’t mean your kids aren’t in fact doing chores.

I have to agree. Your kids are, in fact, doing chores if they are doing their own laundry at age 10 and cleaning up after themselves. You just don’t call them chores. You say tomato, I say tomaaato.

[Anonymous]

Haven't you all had roommates over the years that were worthless regarding the work, chores, activities...whatever you want to call it.....required to maintain a reasonable level of order in a home?

I am talking about basic comm sense. I have lived with some folks who could not clean a bathroom or kitchen or any room really, some could not do laundry, some could not clear a walkway or car of snow effectively, and don't get me started on the fuse box or mowing a little patch of grass.

Just have your kids be able to effectively handle some simple basic tasks for their sake and everyone else they have to live with.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I don’t sweat it, either.
I grew up in squalor yet I am fairly neat and love decluttering.
It depends a lot on personality.

[Anonymous]

Whatever. I’m a clean, organized person. My kids (toddlers) have always cleaned up the playroom every night. They’re 4 and 2 and I have people shocked they do this. But I just always did this. I like them helping me. We all clean up our own messes in life. They will have chores later too like mowing, dishes, vacuuming. They’re not servants though and I wouldn’t ask them to scrub my bathrooms, do my laundry or make my bed. I might go insane if I had to put all the legos back and they just dumped boxes everywhere.

My mom and her sister had to do all the chores for their brothers. They had to change and make their beds daily. Do the boys’ laundry, help cook and do the dishes. Boys didn’t help inside the house and only mowed and took out trash. I think that’s wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't you all had roommates over the years that were worthless regarding the work, chores, activities...whatever you want to call it.....required to maintain a reasonable level of order in a home?

I am talking about basic comm sense. I have lived with some folks who could not clean a bathroom or kitchen or any room really, some could not do laundry, some could not clear a walkway or car of snow effectively, and don't get me started on the fuse box or mowing a little patch of grass.

Just have your kids be able to effectively handle some simple basic tasks for their sake and everyone else they have to live with.

Plenty of us have had spouses like this...

[Anonymous]

Yeah, no... I make sure kids know how to so everything efficiently, so that once they’re in high school, they can budget their time effectively. And they still get things done. Shocker, I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever. I’m a clean, organized person. My kids (toddlers) have always cleaned up the playroom every night. They’re 4 and 2 and I have people shocked they do this. But I just always did this. I like them helping me. We all clean up our own messes in life. They will have chores later too like mowing, dishes, vacuuming. They’re not servants though and I wouldn’t ask them to scrub my bathrooms, do my laundry or make my bed. I might go insane if I had to put all the legos back and they just dumped boxes everywhere.

My mom and her sister had to do all the chores for their brothers. They had to change and make their beds daily. Do the boys’ laundry, help cook and do the dishes. Boys didn’t help inside the house and only mowed and took out trash. I think that’s wrong.

It’s a “traditional” division of labor. Outdated, and in many cases, it only applied for ~50-100 years.