When you apologize and spouse doesn't accept it
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Anonymous
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What to do next? Just keep going on with my day right?
He said something that annoyed the crap out of me, I snapped, we had a fight, I apologized right away. DH didn't accept my apology and hasn't talked to me since Thursday evening. I'm basically sitting by myself doinking around on my computer. Here's what happened: I asked in the morning whether he wanted to get dinner. He said, no, he was planning to go to the gym after work, so I offered to make dinner for us. He worked from home in the morning, had an important meeting in the afternoon, then went to the gym for a couple hours. I worked from 10-7:30, came home to start dinner. DH shows up at 8:30, which was fine. When he did, he asked what he could help with - I listed out the remaining things that needed to be done, he hesitated, so I said, nevermind, why don't you get comfortable (mind you, I was still in my work clothes finishing up dinner). He gets comfortable, pours both of us some wine, and sits down on the couch. While I'm finishing up, I start cleaning and he says to me: I've been meaning to ask you something. It sounds important, so I stop what I'm doing and walk over. He says: do you know where my father's family jewels are? I say no, then snap. He interrupted me finishing making dinner and cleaning up to ask about his family jewels? So I got frustrated, cursed a little bit, muttered under my breath a lot. He says enjoy your dinner and go f myself. Okay, I say. So I finally change, start eating dinner and then go over to apologize for snapping. He doesn't accept it, then curses some more, etc. That was two days ago and he hasn't talked to me once. I guess he's expecting me to grovel, but I don't think I should, right? |
Anonymous
| Where were the kids? |
Anonymous
| I would try another sincere apology. |
Anonymous
| Nice going! You both need to grow up. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you both have too much time on your hands. Are you the one posting constantly about your H and the fights you get into? Complete with you instigating most of the time? |
Anonymous
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Are you words know to be empty and insincere? Do you have a habit of blowing up, and expecting an apology to wash everything clean. Is he more apt to respond to you showing you are sorry and looking to communicate better.
Maybe try an email or leaving him a note. Do you want to be right or happy? |
Anonymous
No, I rarely post. |
Anonymous
| Is he accusing you of theft or asking about where his dad’s testicles are or what? |
Anonymous
| You seem really unhinged. |
Anonymous
No, he just wants me to magically tell him where his belongings are, while he's sitting on the couch, and I'm scrambling to put dinner together. |
Anonymous
| These are not problems. |
Anonymous
Just curious - you don't think spouse giving other silent treatment for 2 days isn't a problem? |
Anonymous
If there’s no kids begging for dinner, you hardly need to scramble. You both sound like you need to grow up. |
Anonymous
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He asked what he could help with. Because he took a few seconds to process and respond, you told him not to bother.
He poured you a glass of wine and did as told. He asked you a question (making conversation with you), and you get mad because you make the choice to stop working. Work that he volunteered to help with. |
Anonymous
Stop acting like making dinner is a huge deal |