When you apologize and spouse doesn't accept it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The question set me off because I was told they were family jewels passed down on his father’s side to the wives of sons. But apparently when it got to me, they did not. But DH was gifted them at some point and he kept them in his drawers until we got new bedroom furniture, when he apparently lost them (and decided to ask me about them).

To be clear, I’m in no way trying to get this jewelry (I make my own money, and if I was a gold-digger, I certainly would have gone after someone with a lot more money). But
the fact that they purposefully did not give them to Me is just another indication they don’t think I’m good enough for him, which has always been a source of tension

Okay, so these jewels are an emotional powder keg for you. Have you discussed your feelings about them with dh?

Yes. He totally knows this is an issue, which is why apparently he didn’t bring this up when we got new furniture a month ago, and why he never made an effort to put them in our joint safe deposit box (which I offered). Why he brought it up while I’m making dinner at 9pm on a work night after a full day of work, I don’t get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I now need to know if you found the family jewels!

Don’t know if he ever did. Apparently they are pretty important to him, but not important enough to get his butt off the couch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to know what these family jewels are.

From what I recall, some sort of tacky gold plated jewels. They didn’t feel heavy, just big and shiny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he accusing you of theft or asking about where his dad’s testicles are or what?

No, he just wants me to magically tell him where his belongings are, while he's sitting on the couch, and I'm scrambling to put dinner together.

If there’s no kids begging for dinner, you hardly need to scramble. You both sound like you need to grow up.

So adults don’t feel hunger? What about when blood is spilling out of your private parts and your hormones are on a roller coaster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he accusing you of theft or asking about where his dad’s testicles are or what?

No, he just wants me to magically tell him where his belongings are, while he's sitting on the couch, and I'm scrambling to put dinner together.

If there’s no kids begging for dinner, you hardly need to scramble. You both sound like you need to grow up.

So adults don’t feel hunger? What about when blood is spilling out of your private parts and your hormones are on a roller coaster?

This is up there with one of the funniest posts on dcum.
Sorry OP. I know this is important to you. After 20 years of marriage I can’t offer you any advice - except once selfish, always selfish. Don’t expect anything to change.

I’ve been sad about my marriage today but your post had me laughing madly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he accusing you of theft or asking about where his dad’s testicles are or what?

No, he just wants me to magically tell him where his belongings are, while he's sitting on the couch, and I'm scrambling to put dinner together.

If there’s no kids begging for dinner, you hardly need to scramble. You both sound like you need to grow up.

So adults don’t feel hunger? What about when blood is spilling out of your private parts and your hormones are on a roller coaster?

This is up there with one of the funniest posts on dcum.
Sorry OP. I know this is important to you. After 20 years of marriage I can’t offer you any advice - except once selfish, always selfish. Don’t expect anything to change.

I’ve been sad about my marriage today but your post had me laughing madly.

Sweet. I hope I get some sort of reward or recognition for once in my life.

[Anonymous]

This is all coming into focus. You left a lot of pertinent information out of your OP. I’m sorry you were tired, hungry, hormonal and busy when dh brought up a topic that is fraught with negative emotions for you. Try explaining all of this very explicitly to him (without omitting all of these details about your physical and emotional state that night) and apologize again and accept responsibility for your meltdown. There really isn’t anything else you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound a bit insane.

Maybe he is enjoying the silence if this is an example of how you normally interact with him. He likely has no idea why asking an innocent question sent you off since there was no reason. Anything he says could do the same.

When someone is unpredictable, silence is a good option.

Yeah, I think you were expecting him to read your mind. You told him to get comfortable and he took you at your word, when in reality you were upset he wasn’t helping and that you were in your work clothes still. You said it was”fine” he came home at 8:30 but perhaps you really were aggravated at cooking so late after a long day of work. And then you snapped, which to him was out of nowhere.

You martyred yourself a bit. Next tine, let him help or just eat pb&j. I am in my pajamas by 9 after a long day of work - cooking and cleaning would be impossible.

[Anonymous]

I'm still unclear on the plot, but from what I can fathom, the guy was supposed to give his wife his balls, but he didn't. Instead, he just randomly lost them, and now he wants her help looking for them while she is preparing a five-course meal.

Is that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still unclear on the plot, but from what I can fathom, the guy was supposed to give his wife his balls, but he didn't. Instead, he just randomly lost them, and now he wants her help looking for them while she is preparing a five-course meal.

Is that right?

I love you.

[Anonymous]

Well, that was a very important piece of information you left out OP.
There is a lot of contempt there, family jewels being a trigger and an unsolved issue. This post should have been about that. You want those family jewels as a proof that you are important in the family, he wants them because...they are a value to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still unclear on the plot, but from what I can fathom, the guy was supposed to give his wife his balls, but he didn't. Instead, he just randomly lost them, and now he wants her help looking for them while she is preparing a five-course meal.

Is that right?

I love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm still unclear on the plot, but from what I can fathom, the guy was supposed to give his wife his balls, but he didn't. Instead, he just randomly lost them, and now he wants her help looking for them while she is preparing a five-course meal.

Is that right?

Yes, she said he kept them in his drawers until he lost them. That’s why they have no kids.

[Anonymous]

When men ask "Do you know where X is"? Your fist response needs to be "Where have you already looked"? Typically, men haven't looked anywhere, but are hoping you have seen the item and have it stored away in some corner of your brain. Tell him to start looking and get back to you for some ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still unclear on the plot, but from what I can fathom, the guy was supposed to give his wife his balls, but he didn't. Instead, he just randomly lost them, and now he wants her help looking for them while she is preparing a five-course meal.

Is that right?

Yes, she said he kept them in his drawers until he lost them. That’s why they have no kids.

Well, I'm no guy, but I think if I had balls that could be that easily lost, I'd keep them tucked away, too. Might wear two pairs just in case.