Mixed-collar dating

[Anonymous]

I’ve recently started seeing a guy who’s wonderful. However, I have an advanced degree and he’s thoroughly blue-collar. (We’re both in our thirties.) Can it work?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.
Don’t even consider lowering your white collar self to his level.

[Anonymous]

Only in The Notebook

But seriously, bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Of course. A partner at my old law firm is married to a firefighter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not.
Don’t even consider lowering your white collar self to his level.

My father was a contractor, so it’s not as though I consider myself “above” him or am unfamiliar with blue collar culture or men. I’m just wondering if there’s anyone here with insight on these kinds of pairings.

[Anonymous]

It could work if you feel he is smart (which is not the same as well educated).

If you can talk about feelings and social issues, and enjoy his company, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not.
Don’t even consider lowering your white collar self to his level.

And what level is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course. A partner at my old law firm is married to a firefighter.

Firefighters can be pretty well educated. At our big, well regarded state school, lots of guys get building science degrees and do the general contractor/fireflighter split when they graduate. Extremely lucrative.

My best friend from college (an ivy) who has a very successful career in public administration is married to a firefighter with a masters degree in fire protection sciences. He's a professor on his "off" days.

Point is, i don't think firefighter is particularly "blue collar".

[Anonymous]

Yes,

My sister was a Major in the Marines.
Husband was a Command Sgt Major in the Army.

Husband was the best man you could ever find.
He was the best person in my family. Sadly he
passed away from brain cancer two years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve recently started seeing a guy who’s wonderful. However, I have an advanced degree and he’s thoroughly blue-collar. (We’re both in our thirties.) Can it work?

Life can pass you by while you are looking for a man with the perfect credentials.

[Anonymous]

The men I know in the trades make decent, decent money.

[Anonymous]

This was an issue when dating my now-husband. We had different job demands, incomes, spending habits, money-influenced decision making patterns. Different expectations regarding kids and housework and how often someone should go to the dentist.

We have been together 15 years, married for 10. It can work but you need to be clear about what you want, especially if you want kids. Do not end up in a situation where you resent him because he can't support you as a SAHP, for example.

[Anonymous]

My CPA is married to a commercial welder. He makes
about double what she makes. He and another
commercial welder carpool to Philadelphia for their job.

He is her second husband. The first husband was a dud
even though he had a college degree.

[Anonymous]

He's too good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was an issue when dating my now-husband. We had different job demands, incomes, spending habits, money-influenced decision making patterns. Different expectations regarding kids and housework and how often someone should go to the dentist.

We have been together 15 years, married for 10. It can work but you need to be clear about what you want, especially if you want kids. Do not end up in a situation where you resent him because he can't support you as a SAHP, for example.

ETA: we share cultural and political views, which goes a long way. And we found a church that works for both of us even though we don't share religious beliefs. I've seen marriages end over those issues.