I can’t stand my 4.5 year old
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Anonymous
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She is constantly difficult and has been since she was 3. Always crying, whining, tantruming. Will scream for hugs then kick us when we come to comfort her. Follows me constantly and talks non stop. My skin crawls when she is close to me. She grabs onto my legs and doesn’t let go, doesn’t let me walk. Screams
When I pull her off. She is making me miserable. My boys are not like this. She is hurting my marriage as we are so stressed by her. I never thought that the daughter I dreamed so much of having could make my life such a hell scape. I honestly do not like her and wish to be away from her due to all the misbehavior. I am just going through the motions with her. |
Anonymous
| You mention multiple other children. How much 1:1 time does she get? Real, undistracted 1:1 quality time? |
Anonymous
| Have you spoken to her pediatrician? |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry OP. You will be skewered for your post but please know that there are others out here that understand. The ones who will judge you have no idea what it is like. Some of us do. |
Anonymous
| Sounds horrible OP. Sincerely. |
Anonymous
This. Mine mellowed our significantly when I started really paying solid undistracted attention to her. We read when she gets home from school and cuddle. I also make time to play with her a few times a week. She’s an only but I also work full time and have a partner that travels for weeks at a time, so there’s tons put on hold to do this, but it changes her everything. We also go on a very long walk a few times a week. If one on one time isn’t enough (AND she’s getting enough sleep/not hungry/thirsty/overstimulated by tv), I might check for sensory stuff, could be anxiety of some sort needing to get out. |
Anonymous
At least 30mins-1 hr a day. I am a sahm. She is in morning preschool every day. |
Anonymous
And she still drives me bonkers, but this stuff helps immensely. |
Anonymous
| I can understand you OP completely. I only have 1 daughter who is almost 4 and is rather difficult. I work hard all day at work, then come home, cook dinner which she won't eat much, then 2 hrs later, she is hungry and want's to eat something. Then, she won't go to bed early, then in the mornings, it's hard to wake her up for preschool, because she likes to sleep late. Of course, everything she wants to do- pick her clothes, shoes etc.- which takes for ever. Every day of the same crap- I'm tired and dream to be somewhere away from my child. I never would think that this all could be so hard. |
Anonymous
Op, if she’s been like this since she was 3 and she’s now 4.5, I would schedule an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. One on one time is good, healthy diet, sufficient sleep is key as well, but this behavior is unusually extreme and long standing. Talk with your pediatrician, but you can always self refer to Children’s or Kennedy Krieger. |
Anonymous
Yes. We are starting therapy next week. |
Anonymous
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I’m so sorry OP. I hope you can get some good advice from the therapist on how to handle this.
I hope you can forgive yourself for feeling like this too. I imagine it feels terrible to feel like this about your own child. Hang in there... |
Anonymous
| How’s her sleep? |
Anonymous
| Look into PCIT, which is a type of therapy for kids this age. Works wonders! You can Google it to learn more. Parent Child Interactive Therapy. Hang in there! This is a challenging age, but things will improve. |
Anonymous
| Does she appear really smart? |