Is the refernece "he/she looks very Jewish" benign or an insult?

[Anonymous]

We have a very outspoken friend in one of my friend groups. She has more than once said something like "he or she looks Jewish" if someone was asking for a description about someone I am not Jewish but another friend is and she confided in me that when x says this, she finds it kind of insulting because its the way she says it that implies its a very specific (and not so good) look. Is it worth saying something or is this in the politically correct bubble?

[Anonymous]

If the speaker is Jewish it’s acceptable. If the speaker is not Jewish, they should avoid saying that outside of groups where they know EVERYONE very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the speaker is Jewish it’s acceptable. If the speaker is not Jewish, they should avoid saying that outside of groups where they know EVERYONE very well.

I am not even sure that's true. I'm Jewish and when people say that it's generally not meant in a complimentary way, although not necessarily as an insult either.

[Anonymous]

I am not Jewish. I am black. I say that to say I can't speak for exactly how a Jewish person would feel about the statement. I can only speak for how I feel when someone says something similar to me.

I would ask the speaker "What do you mean by that?" and see what comes next. My guess is that it won't be something good.

When I've encountered similar statements, it is usually meant to be derogatory. If your Jewish friend has confided in you that he/she finds it insulting, you should be the brave and bold white person who is willing to take a position that will bring you discomfort for the good of all. The weight of addressing discriminatory/hurtful statements always falls on the person being singled out and they are left having to navigate addressing the disrespect, their hurt feelings and self esteem and then having to defend against a typical white person who will rudely push back if they are called out on their bigoted behavior. It will be all about that person's feelings on being called a bigot instead of the person they actually offended.

Please, stand up for your Jewish friend and call the other person out on their unacceptable comments. Right now, you can hide and ignore the rude comments because they don't affect you. By the way, if you've ever wondered what white privilege is and if you have it, this is one of those situations.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I’m Jewish and has said things like that, although it’s usually to joke that my dad looks like the most stereotypical Jewish guy ever, or something like that.

[Anonymous]

I will say this to my Jewish husband if I’m asking about someone and wondering if they, too, are Jewish. It’s not meant to be derogatory at all. I’ve been asked if I’m Jewish before (I’m not), and I certainly didn’t take it as an insult.

[Anonymous]

I’m not Jewish, but if I were it would make me uncomfortable. I think some people just don’t realize how much they stereotype and think they are behaving perfectly normally

I get this a lot:
“Where are you from?”
-I’m Indian
“Oh really, you don’t look Indian. You’re very pretty.”

I never know what I’m supposed to say to that or how I’m expected to react.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m Jewish and has said things like that, although it’s usually to joke that my dad looks like the most stereotypical Jewish guy ever, or something like that.

+1. I am also Jewish and said that. There is such a thing as a stereotypical Ashkenazi look - the eyes, the nose, the curly hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m Jewish and has said things like that, although it’s usually to joke that my dad looks like the most stereotypical Jewish guy ever, or something like that.

+1. I am also Jewish and said that. There is such a thing as a stereotypical Ashkenazi look - the eyes, the nose, the curly hair.

+2, its a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

People used to assume that I was Jewish all the time. First year of teaching, I had ten presents wrapped in blue paper at the holidays, but only five Jewish students. I’ve had Jewish people tell me that I look Jewish. My maiden name is similar to a Jewish name, as well. I was never offended.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure about this one. I know people who are told that they look very Irish or Scandinavian or Italian or Greek. How is this different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I’m Jewish and has said things like that, although it’s usually to joke that my dad looks like the most stereotypical Jewish guy ever, or something like that.

+1. I am also Jewish and said that. There is such a thing as a stereotypical Ashkenazi look - the eyes, the nose, the curly hair.

There is but that’s in it of itself kinda racist as you’re denying the looks of the many different types of people who make up the Jewish people. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a very outspoken friend in one of my friend groups. She has more than once said something like "he or she looks Jewish" if someone was asking for a description about someone I am not Jewish but another friend is and she confided in me that when x says this, she finds it kind of insulting because its the way she says it that implies its a very specific (and not so good) look. Is it worth saying something or is this in the politically correct bubble?

PC bs.

Go spend some time in Israel and grow a real skin.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has a bias. Let’s just be honest here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure about this one. I know people who are told that they look very Irish or Scandinavian or Italian or Greek. How is this different?

Those are ethnic groups. Jews can be from different ethnic groups. Tiffany Haddish is an Eritrean Jew. And even when Ashkenazi, Jews might not “look Jewish” because of generations of the women in their family being raped. Most of all, because “looks Jewish” has gotten people killed.