Is the refernece "he/she looks very Jewish" benign or an insult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's not acceptable. It implies there is a Jewish look, like the Nazis tried to establish (hooked nose, etc). I have some blond, blue-eyed, straight nosed Jewish neighbors.

It's not the same thing as saying Asian, or Caucasian, or Black, etc... , where clearly there is a phenotype.

+1. If it's said by a non-Jew, I'd think it's an awkward and clueless comment.

Ok, I'm Jewish and you need to understand something.

For Ashkenazi Jews (10-11 million of the 14-18 million Jews in the world) there IS a look. Why? Because we're a genetically distinct group. That's not to say all Ashkenazi Jews look the same -- some of us have dark, curly hair while some others are blonde (Slavic roots, most likely), but we are absolutely genetically distinct.

There's nothing wrong with that. Not every group is a total melting pot. Jews--those who are born Jewish, rather than converts--are an ethno-religious group. Until recently we didn't really intermarry. That has implications for how many of us look.

Nothing wrong with that!

If us Jews say it's ok, please don't tell us it's not. We understand the difference between seeing your curly-haired friend who's a lawyer and saying "oh boy you're such a boychik! I bet your mom is so proud" (which we do all the time back where my whole family is from -- NYC) and Nazism.

So you really see no difference between a conversation between Jewish where "looking Jewish" is referenced lovingly and an example where a non-Jew references "Jeiwish looks disparagingly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's not acceptable. It implies there is a Jewish look, like the Nazis tried to establish (hooked nose, etc). I have some blond, blue-eyed, straight nosed Jewish neighbors.

It's not the same thing as saying Asian, or Caucasian, or Black, etc... , where clearly there is a phenotype.

+1. If it's said by a non-Jew, I'd think it's an awkward and clueless comment.

Ok, I'm Jewish and you need to understand something.

For Ashkenazi Jews (10-11 million of the 14-18 million Jews in the world) there IS a look. Why? Because we're a genetically distinct group. That's not to say all Ashkenazi Jews look the same -- some of us have dark, curly hair while some others are blonde (Slavic roots, most likely), but we are absolutely genetically distinct.

There's nothing wrong with that. Not every group is a total melting pot. Jews--those who are born Jewish, rather than converts--are an ethno-religious group. Until recently we didn't really intermarry. That has implications for how many of us look.

Nothing wrong with that!

If us Jews say it's ok, please don't tell us it's not. We understand the difference between seeing your curly-haired friend who's a lawyer and saying "oh boy you're such a boychik! I bet your mom is so proud" (which we do all the time back where my whole family is from -- NYC) and Nazism.

So you really see no difference between a conversation between Jewish where "looking Jewish" is referenced lovingly and an example where a non-Jew references "Jeiwish looks disparagingly?

Did you not read the bolded?

STOP telling us what we should be offended about!

[Anonymous]

It’s not a compliment because the physical characteristics associated with Judaism (and Im a Jew myself) are not prized in today’s society. Big nose, wild dark hair, short stature etc.

[Anonymous]

It’s not a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a compliment because the physical characteristics associated with Judaism (and Im a Jew myself) are not prized in today’s society. Big nose, wild dark hair, short stature etc.

Balding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a good thing.

It can also just be a neutral thing, especially if Jews say it to one another. I come from a long line of NY Jews and we frequently joke with one another about things like that. I get that it has a dark side, but that doesn't mean it can ONLY be used to further anti-Semitism.

[Anonymous]

People have always said to me " You're Jewish? Wow..you don't look it." I always say " What does Jewish look like?"

Not "looking" Jewish has assisted me in figuring iut where the anti semitism is in this world. I feel as though I am an infiltrated narc.

[Anonymous]

I feel like it *shouldn't* be an insult (what, after all, is wrong with looking Jewish, especially if one is?). However, with the loaded history, I think we can all agree that it is often an insult.

[Anonymous]

Big nose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like it *shouldn't* be an insult (what, after all, is wrong with looking Jewish, especially if one is?). However, with the loaded history, I think we can all agree that it is often an insult.

My point is that it isn't always an insult.

I really dislike people--whether Jews or not--telling me what I should be offended about. I've been the victim of anti-Semitism, so I know it when I see it. It isn't anti-Semitic or insidious for my dad to joke about how he's such a stereotype because he's a short, curly-haired guy with glasses who grew up on Long Island, now lives in NYC, and is a lawyer. It's just him poking fun at himself. There's a difference between that and someone looking at him and saying he looks like a greedy Jew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not Jewish. I am black. I say that to say I can't speak for exactly how a Jewish person would feel about the statement. I can only speak for how I feel when someone says something similar to me.

I would ask the speaker "What do you mean by that?" and see what comes next. My guess is that it won't be something good.

When I've encountered similar statements, it is usually meant to be derogatory. If your Jewish friend has confided in you that he/she finds it insulting, you should be the brave and bold white person who is willing to take a position that will bring you discomfort for the good of all. The weight of addressing discriminatory/hurtful statements always falls on the person being singled out and they are left having to navigate addressing the disrespect, their hurt feelings and self esteem and then having to defend against a typical white person who will rudely push back if they are called out on their bigoted behavior. It will be all about that person's feelings on being called a bigot instead of the person they actually offended.

Please, stand up for your Jewish friend and call the other person out on their unacceptable comments. Right now, you can hide and ignore the rude comments because they don't affect you. By the way, if you've ever wondered what white privilege is and if you have it, this is one of those situations.

This is interesting because, as a black person, I find it insulting when white people describe a black person but never reference that they are black. I think that comes from a place of trying “not to see color” but it always comes off to me like you think being black is so bad that it cannot even be mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not Jewish. I am black. I say that to say I can't speak for exactly how a Jewish person would feel about the statement. I can only speak for how I feel when someone says something similar to me.

I would ask the speaker "What do you mean by that?" and see what comes next. My guess is that it won't be something good.

When I've encountered similar statements, it is usually meant to be derogatory. If your Jewish friend has confided in you that he/she finds it insulting, you should be the brave and bold white person who is willing to take a position that will bring you discomfort for the good of all. The weight of addressing discriminatory/hurtful statements always falls on the person being singled out and they are left having to navigate addressing the disrespect, their hurt feelings and self esteem and then having to defend against a typical white person who will rudely push back if they are called out on their bigoted behavior. It will be all about that person's feelings on being called a bigot instead of the person they actually offended.

Please, stand up for your Jewish friend and call the other person out on their unacceptable comments. Right now, you can hide and ignore the rude comments because they don't affect you. By the way, if you've ever wondered what white privilege is and if you have it, this is one of those situations.

This is interesting because, as a black person, I find it insulting when white people describe a black person but never reference that they are black. I think that comes from a place of trying “not to see color” but it always comes off to me like you think being black is so bad that it cannot even be mentioned.

As a Jewish person, I agree. If I'm wearing something that strongly indicates I'm Jewish--a star of David necklace or a yarmulke (if I were a man)--there isn't anything wrong with using that to identify me. It's likely to be something that distinguishes me from a crowd, so it's an easy way of referring to me.

If you try to engage in verbal gymnastics to avoid using that identifier, I find that insulting.

[Anonymous]

When I think looks Jewish, I am thinking of Emily Ratajkowski.

Compliment!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure about this one. I know people who are told that they look very Irish or Scandinavian or Italian or Greek. How is this different?

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think looks Jewish, I am thinking of Emily Ratajkowski.

Compliment!!!!!!

In the words of Adam Sandler, “what a fine looking Jew!”