Difference in age

Anonymous
I have been friendly for a man who is 20 years older.

I am 30 he’s 50.

How bad is this? honestly, I’m attracted to him in so many ways!

Men- have you dated someone half your age?
Anonymous
yes, hot.
Anonymous
Have a fling but don't marry. My sister did this and she is now a nursemaid to a man with advanced Parkinsons and she is beyond miserable.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Have a fling but don't marry. My sister did this and she is now a nursemaid to a man with advanced Parkinsons and she is beyond miserable.


+1

Go for it, but you’d be crazy to settle down.
Anonymous
When I was in my early 40’s I dated a wonderful man in his early 60’s. We knew from the beginning that the age difference was too much for us to have a LTR but for two years I had a wonderful time. If the age difference had only been 5-10 years I never would have let him get away. We are now both married to people closer in age.
Anonymous
OP, you like who you like. Ignore all the haters and shamers who will show up in this thread.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:yes, hot.


You'll get different answers from men and women. The above quote is male advice.

As you are only asking the men the answer will be yes, go for it, date him, sleep with him. I'm sure you are not naive enough to know the reason why this is.
Anonymous
It works for a while but eventually the difference will be huge. This is my situation, I’m 44 he’s 57. We are in different life stages.
Anonymous
Consider the consequences when you reach 50-60. One of them may be that you will have to become his caretaker. There's only a 10 year age difference between my husband I, but this possibility keeps popping up in my mind.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Consider the consequences when you reach 50-60. One of them may be that you will have to become his caretaker. There's only a 10 year age difference between my husband I, but this possibility keeps popping up in my mind.


DH and I have a similar age difference but we’ve been married since 25/37. We have a house, two kids, and a full, happy life together. If I end up caring for him, at least I’ll be doing it when I’m relatively young and capable myself. It’s really hard when two people are both failing and having to be caregivers. And we will have something like 40 years of happy marriage behind us when that phase arrives, most likely.
Anonymous
Dated wonderful man almost 20 yo. Everything was perfect except we were on different Travis. He had almost adult kids I wanted to have kids. He entertained the idea but I knew deep down he was not the right partner at 50 plus to start a new family. If I didn't want kids, I would have been willing to see where it went longer but I think it was too much of a gap.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Have a fling but don't marry. My sister did this and she is now a nursemaid to a man with advanced Parkinsons and she is beyond miserable.


obviously a WONDERFUL human being. !!!! sounds like a selfish unfeeling pig
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider the consequences when you reach 50-60. One of them may be that you will have to become his caretaker. There's only a 10 year age difference between my husband I, but this possibility keeps popping up in my mind.


DH and I have a similar age difference but we’ve been married since 25/37. We have a house, two kids, and a full, happy life together. If I end up caring for him, at least I’ll be doing it when I’m relatively young and capable myself. It’s really hard when two people are both failing and having to be caregivers. And we will have something like 40 years of happy marriage behind us when that phase arrives, most likely.


My parents are in their 60s and so when my Mom had cancer, my Dad was home to take care of her... he's older, too, so it's not like he had work or really active hobbies that he would otherwise be doing. He was home anyway, moving more slowly than he did when he was younger. I would say it's easier when you are the same older age to take care of the spouse because you are going through old age yourself. When one is young, you are missing out on the rest of your life. My neighbor had a 20+ year age gap, and her older husband was ill for years. She was a miserable person. The day her husband died, she completely transformed into this happy person who goes hiking with her dog and stops to talk to me when we're both outside. (It was kinda weird actually). She's only in her 50's and her husband was in his 70s. That is not an ideal time to be a caregiver!
Anonymous
Like PP said, have fun but don’t get serious. Caregiving aside, men generally lose energy as they get older while women gain it. Even a gap of just a few years can be frustrating.
Anonymous
Just enjoy yourself but be aware of the LT consequences. At some point if you are interested in having children you will be better off with someone your own age. But I until then have fun.
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