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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Consider the consequences when you reach 50-60. One of them may be that you will have to become his caretaker.  There's only a 10 year age difference between my husband I, but this possibility keeps popping up in my mind. [/quote]

DH and I have a similar age difference but we’ve been married since 25/37. We have a house, two kids, and a full, happy life together. If I end up caring for him, at least I’ll be doing it when I’m relatively young and capable myself. It’s really hard when two people are both failing and having to be caregivers. And we will have something like 40 years of happy marriage behind us when that phase arrives, most likely. [/quote]

My parents are in their 60s and so when my Mom had cancer, my Dad was home to take care of her... he's older, too, so it's not like he had work or really active hobbies that he would otherwise be doing. He was home anyway, moving more slowly than he did when he was younger.  I would say it's easier when you are the same older age to take care of the spouse because you are going through old age yourself.  When one is young, you are missing out on the rest of your life.  My neighbor had a 20+ year age gap, and her older husband was ill for years. She was a miserable person.  The day her husband died, she completely transformed into this happy person who goes hiking with her dog and stops to talk to me when we're both outside.  (It was kinda weird actually). She's only in her 50's and her husband was in his 70s.  That is not an ideal time to be a caregiver![/quote]

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