Difference in age

[Anonymous]

My mom's best friend is a woman in her 50s who was married to a man who died a year or two ago in his 90s. (The husband was a longtime friend of our family; we knew his first wife as well before she died.) We initially thought it was a marriage of, essentially, convenience--he brought her here from Thailand, although not through any kind of unsavory arrangement--they met through his daughter-in-law. But, they were devoted to each other and I don't think my mom's friend would have traded that time with him for anything, even though it meant that she was a caregiver for the last several years of his life and that she's widowed now while still a relatively young woman.

I'm in my early 40s and the closest thing that I've ever met to a soulmate for myself is a man who is in his early 60s. We're a little star crossed and I doubt we'll ever be together, but if it ever became possible, there's no way I'd turn it down just because of the age difference. Sometimes, the strength of a connection and emotional compatibility is so strong that you just don't care if it won't be forever. That being said, if I were younger and looking at still having children or something, I'd look at it differently.

[Anonymous]

Is he really rich? If not, have fun, as people said, don't marry.

[Anonymous]

When I got divorced at 45 I dated a 26 year old for a while, she was super fun in so many ways. But agree, it's not a long term proposition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider the consequences when you reach 50-60. One of them may be that you will have to become his caretaker. There's only a 10 year age difference between my husband I, but this possibility keeps popping up in my mind.

DH and I have a similar age difference but we’ve been married since 25/37. We have a house, two kids, and a full, happy life together. If I end up caring for him, at least I’ll be doing it when I’m relatively young and capable myself. It’s really hard when two people are both failing and having to be caregivers. And we will have something like 40 years of happy marriage behind us when that phase arrives, most likely.

Your situation is much worse. You will do all the care-taking and he will do none for you if you have the normal progression of life. You will be living a lifestyle a decade older than your age. At least if the same age the couple can help each other out throughout their lives and go through the same life stages together.

How is this different from marrying a guy 5 years older than you or even zero years older? He's not going to do any "caretaking" of you either. He will die sooner than you. That's just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Erectile dysfunction will come calling sooner or later. At 50, he may be already there. Viagra is only a temporary solution and some men cannot use it at all.

So...unless you don’t mind having irregular, none, or medicated sex when you are in your 30s, 40s ..I would think carefully about a 20 yr age difference and what that would mean for your sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Erectile dysfunction will come calling sooner or later. At 50, he may be already there. Viagra is only a temporary solution and some men cannot use it at all.

So...unless you don’t mind having irregular, none, or medicated sex when you are in your 30s, 40s ..I would think carefully about a 20 yr age difference and what that would mean for your sex life.

My 65 year old husband (I’m 36) is active. Plays tennis several times a week and does not meet viagra. If he does one day, we’ll be fine and make it sexy.

He had children late in life (early 40s) and I had children early in life (early 20s)
So our kids are only 10-15 years apart versus the 30 years they could be. We love each other very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Erectile dysfunction will come calling sooner or later. At 50, he may be already there. Viagra is only a temporary solution and some men cannot use it at all.

So...unless you don’t mind having irregular, none, or medicated sex when you are in your 30s, 40s ..I would think carefully about a 20 yr age difference and what that would mean for your sex life.

My 65 year old husband (I’m 36) is active. Plays tennis several times a week and does not meet viagra. If he does one day, we’ll be fine and make it sexy.

He had children late in life (early 40s) and I had children early in life (early 20s)
So our kids are only 10-15 years apart versus the 30 years they could be. We love each other very much.

LOL. He has probably been on viagra the last 10 years and you just don’t know it. Tennis doesn’t keep viagra away. Age does. Good luck with the golden years..they are here now.

[Anonymous]

WTF is the obsession in the comments with viagra?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Erectile dysfunction will come calling sooner or later. At 50, he may be already there. Viagra is only a temporary solution and some men cannot use it at all.

So...unless you don’t mind having irregular, none, or medicated sex when you are in your 30s, 40s ..I would think carefully about a 20 yr age difference and what that would mean for your sex life.

My 65 year old husband (I’m 36) is active. Plays tennis several times a week and does not meet viagra. If he does one day, we’ll be fine and make it sexy.

He had children late in life (early 40s) and I had children early in life (early 20s)
So our kids are only 10-15 years apart versus the 30 years they could be. We love each other very much.

A 30 yr age gap is gross as best, sorry. Great for him, but his best years are behind him and now and he has a young nurse secured.

[Anonymous]

If you are 30 and marry other 30, in next 20 you are both 50.

If you are 30 and marry 50, in 20 years you are 50 and he is 70.
If you are looking to start a family, read about how father's age increases the chance of birth issues.
Also, imagine a child who is 20 having a father who is 70 and everybody thinking it is their grandpa.
If you thin a 50 something will be chasing after a toddler in the playground, think again.
Sex life? I am sure others covered that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are 30 and marry other 30, in next 20 you are both 50.

If you are 30 and marry 50, in 20 years you are 50 and he is 70.
If you are looking to start a family, read about how father's age increases the chance of birth issues.
Also, imagine a child who is 20 having a father who is 70 and everybody thinking it is their grandpa.
If you thin a 50 something will be chasing after a toddler in the playground, think again.
Sex life? I am sure others covered that

Trump has a tween. But he will be fine. Others not so much.

[Anonymous]

Every time I see Olivier Sarkozy and Mary Kate Olsen I think ewwww.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only woman on here that wonders what this obsession with sex life is all about? Most women married for a while don't exactly need it every night. If you look at the comments most marital strain is because the man wants it all the time and woman almost never. So this age Gap seems ideal on the sex frequency spectrum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only woman on here that wonders what this obsession with sex life is all about? Most women married for a while don't exactly need it every night. If you look at the comments most marital strain is because the man wants it all the time and woman almost never. So this age Gap seems ideal on the sex frequency spectrum

No it’s not. Ewwwww!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a fling but don't marry. My sister did this and she is now a nursemaid to a man with advanced Parkinsons and she is beyond miserable.

obviously a WONDERFUL human being. !!!! sounds like a selfish unfeeling pig

Wow. Who said she didn't still love him? Just because it is difficult and her life is challenging (miserable, even) doesn't mean she isn't feeling or doesn't care for him. Obviously she loves him and is caring for him. If roles were reversed it is likely he would have divorced her.

She sounds unselfish to me. She's doing the difficult work of caregiving. Don't be so quick to judge.

I was the op of the reply. For the mean commenters he has/had multiple health problems including Crohns disease when they married. A few years in when she was late 30s he got the Parkinson's dx. He was mid-late 50s then. Long and very sad decline over the past 10 years. Parkinsons dementia is something nobody talks about. Not only can he barely walk now he is not lucid much of the time. It is not just physical. He has three grown children none of who help in any way. She begs for a respite weekend and gets nothing. He pees and craps all over the house and resists using aids like walkers and diapers. My sisters and I are also dealing with eldercare issues for both our parents at the same time. I cannot tell you how much this sucks but at least we three siblings aren't fighting at the moment.