Unexpected expense -- how much is necessary to mention to spouse

[Anonymous]

I saw that DH spent a few thousand $ of our personal money on a business idea that he is trying. He wasn't trying to hide it, but he didn't mention it to me. I just wanted to poll the crowd -- above how much money spent unexpectedly would you mention to your spouse? I am thinking 1K.

[Anonymous]

For me? Probably anything over $200. But we don't have a ton of spare cash -- two federal worker salaries and two kids in daycare. This probably mostly depends on your HHI. I doubt Bill Gates bothers to mention $3000 to Melinda, but most people would.

[Anonymous]

We'd generally discuss purchases more than $100 or $200, unless it's something routine.

Did you know he's trying out a business idea? At any rate, it does seem like a good idea to have a discussion about how much money he will be investing in it.

[Anonymous]

More than $2k. It also depends on your hhi and budget since what constitutes a lot of money is relative.

[Anonymous]

When first married we discussed that anything over $500 we would discuss with each other first. Married 21 years and still do that.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much money you are working with. For me, I would mention anything over 5k- not because I have to or need to though. It also depends what it is for. If I pay a $5000 bill for school cost, I wouldn’t bring it up. But if I wanted a $5000 watch, I would bring it up. For my husband, he wouldn’t mention any amount he spent ever. In fairness he hardly spends money, but when he does it is very large amounts on various investments or business ventures.

For us, I feel like there is an element of because I SAH and he earns, he does not feel the need to get my approval on what he spends. He has never outright said that, but that is how it is. Since he doesn’t badger me about my spending, I stay quiet about his too. He makes enough that it isn’t worth squabbling over.

[Anonymous]

You should discuss an amount over which you ask each other.
For us it's about $200.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should discuss an amount over which you ask each other.
For us it's about $200.

Forgot to say, he earns a salary and I stay home. We both have dividends and stuff from our investments. We still get an equal say.

[Anonymous]

depending on the idea 5 to 10% of annual income

[Anonymous]

As a husband I would think anything over a couple hundred dollars needs to be talked about, and this comes from someone without any real financial issues. It’s not about the money, simply honesty and curiosity. He was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Had it already been discussed that he would need to spend some cash for this business venture?

He may have just assumed you knew he would be spending for this business.

[Anonymous]

We’re not rich by any stretch of the imagination, when we both randomly spend over $100, we tell each other what we spent it on.

[Anonymous]

I'd say $500. We tend to bring up stuff anyways, but $500 is probably the point where it would be a "is this a good purchase for $500?'.

I would be pretty annoyed that dh didn't bring up a business venture with me, even if he only invested $100. That's just one of those things I'd expect he would bring up with me

[Anonymous]

For us, $5k+ typically unless it's for DH's business and then typically $100k.

[Anonymous]

We are both pretty thrifty so we don’t really worry about it. I just spent $1,600 on having a fence installed and didn’t mention that amount to my husband but he knew I was doing it.