Unexpected expense -- how much is necessary to mention to spouse

[Anonymous]

To me this would be about more than money - he is embarking on a new business idea and not sharing it with you? That would alarm me because DH and I talk about our lives with each other...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both pretty thrifty so we don’t really worry about it. I just spent $1,600 on having a fence installed and didn’t mention that amount to my husband but he knew I was doing it.

Too funny - literally echo every single thing in this post down to the fence just yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should discuss an amount over which you ask each other.
For us it's about $200.

+1 HHI of ~375k

[Anonymous]

For us I'd expect DH to tell me if he spent more than 500 dollars, but I don't think he'd expect me to say anything unless I spent over 3-4K! He works, I SAH, and I manage all expenses and budgeting and make all purchases for the home, yard, home improvement etc.

It's not about a number, it's about what it's being spent on, and about trust that the money is being spent well. I would have expected your DH to say something to you since it's on a business venture, personally.

[Anonymous]

My DH mentions large purchases (over $1000) to me because I do all the banking. I hate surprises on the bank statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say $500. We tend to bring up stuff anyways, but $500 is probably the point where it would be a "is this a good purchase for $500?'.

I would be pretty annoyed that dh didn't bring up a business venture with me, even if he only invested $100. That's just one of those things I'd expect he would bring up with me

+1

[Anonymous]

I recently bought another motorcycle, before I signed the deal, I told her.

Her response, “Enjoy.”

[Anonymous]

More than 200 we talk. Why is he starting a business venture without talking to you?

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is $460k and we always talk about purchases over $200-$500ish dollars. Mostly because we have a budget and a lot of things going in and out of our bank account (student loans, mortgage, daycare, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently bought another motorcycle, before I signed the deal, I told her.

Her response, “Enjoy.”

And then she took out another life insurance policy on you.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I tell my DH how much things cost just so he has an idea how much things cost, not because he ever cares. Like I mentioned how speech therapy was 500 a month for our middle DC. He was like "I thought it was free we have insurance." What a cute idea! He just has no idea. He once guesstimated our groceries at "80 bucks a week sounds like right." Ok buddy we spend that in formula alone.

[Anonymous]

It depends entirely on what’s material to your budget. If you’re multimillionaires, spending $1k doesn’t require any sacrifice or budget relocation. But when I was newly married and broke, having $14 cocktails with friends meant that my spouse couldn’t eat lunch out during the work week. I’d mention anything that require deferred spending for the month, a change in our savings plan, or a withdrawal from our savings account. I’d also mention anything out of the ordinary for us. For example, vet bills, car repair, and clothing expenditures are pretty typical. But if one of us wanted to book plane tickets or buy new furniture, that would merit mentioning.

[Anonymous]

We have a HHI of around $1m (pretty equal between DH and I) and we still give a head's up about discretionary purchases over around $200 (it used to be anything over $100, but has crept up in amount over the last 10 years as we are just busier and can't mention everything). We don't keep a budget, and don't spend much. It's just the principal.

Stuff like household repairs -- I don't feel the need to mention (but usual do, out of interest).

Stuff like medical/therapy, I would never mention as those are must-haves.

If DH were starting a business venture, i'd expect it to be run by me regardless of a penny spent on it.

[Anonymous]

Anything over $300 warrants at least a heads up

[Anonymous]

I feel like we just generally are in communication with each other as a best practice.

I think that if its in the routine category ie groceries (which is 200-400 depending on what is going on that week or whatever) then I don't mention it. But we worked together on picking out a wagon for DS's birthday that was going to be 100+ and serve as a family tool as well.

He knows how much the drywall repairs are I get estimates on and has a vague idea of how much the house cleaners get.

I would not make any personal or not discussed purchase for more than like $300 without checking with him. But I wouldn't need to tell him if I spent $500 on clothes to spruce up a wardrobe. Mostly because thats a rare event and he trusts that I'm not an irresponsible spender.

HHI 250k ish.