Teachers, does your Principal encourage you to tell your students that you love them?

[Anonymous]

The Principal at the middle school I teach at frequently tells students that he loves them, usually addressed towards all the students during morning announcements, but also on an individual level such as when dealing with discipline problems, such as "I love you, and don't want to see this behavior from you " He hasn't flat out required that the staff says it as well, but he stresses that it's important for kids to know that their teachers love them, and that some of them may rarely hear it from anyone else. He has also made remarks along the lines of "if you don't love your students, this may not be the right job for you " I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with telling my students that I love them. Yes, I care about them, and I believe that shows, but to me love is a strong word. And I really think it's inauthentic to use it towards someone that you really don't know that well. Keep in mind, this is middle school, we have classes of 30 students we see for 50 minutes a day. Also, I tend to think that middle schoolers are old enough to realize that their principal or teacher doesn't truly "love" them in a very meaningful way. Do other teachers also receive this implicit pressure to tell students that you love them?

[Anonymous]

Uh, no. But I definitely love my students. I would give my life for any of them. Even at the beginning of the year. It's why I'm a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Creepy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, no. But I definitely love my students. I would give my life for any of them. Even at the beginning of the year. It's why I'm a teacher.

Out of curiosity, at what age of students would you expect this attitude to change? Would you expect a college professor to feel this strongly about their students? Is it really necessary for a teacher to feel this strongly in order to be a good teacher?

[Anonymous]

Care about them? Sure, but to say you love them is disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, no. But I definitely love my students. I would give my life for any of them. Even at the beginning of the year. It's why I'm a teacher.

It's wonderful that you feel this way, but I also feel there's a lot of pressure on teachers to have this attitude. Truthfully, I feel it's unrealistic to expect to,fill the teaching workforce with people who truly love their students on the same level that they would love their own kids. Do we expect our kid's coaches to feel the same way? And most of them probably know their players on a more personal level than a middle school teacher would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Care about them? Sure, but to say you love them is disingenuous.

That's what I think too, unless they are using the term as simply an affectionate way of saying, I care about you, but honestly that's not everyone's style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, no. But I definitely love my students. I would give my life for any of them. Even at the beginning of the year. It's why I'm a teacher.

Don't you have to know someone reasonably well in order to love them? How do you feel this way about them at the beginning of the year?

[Anonymous]

Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

Kids aren't stupid. And a teacher professing to *love* all of their students like they *love* their own children is full of it. They can genuinely care about the kids in their class and want nothing but good things for them but they also maintain that appropriate and professional distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

These are middle schoolers, notmelementary kids. And being cared for and safe isn't the same as being loved. I would think most middle schoolers would understand the difference between someone caring for them vs truly loving them. I would think most kids would take a statement like this as disingenuous. How would you react to your college professor saying I love you to the class? Or your manager at work?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry - but if my kids teachers or principles were telling them individually that they loved them I would find that highly inappropriate. It's nice if they care about my kid and icing on the cake if they actually like them but "love" them. This sounds sounds like some serious boundary crossing, especially in middle school as the kids are going through puberty. I would be bringing this to my superintendents attention immediately.

[Anonymous]

I think what the principal is saying is fine and I also think it's fine for you to not feel the same way and to not say it. I wouldn't worry about it anymore unless he asks the staff directly to say it, which is hard to imagine him doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you’re complaining that your principal wants the kids to
know they’re loved. Some of these kids never hear it at home, so he wants them to know they are cared for and safe at school. What a horrible man.

Kids aren't stupid. And a teacher professing to *love* all of their students like they *love* their own children is full of it. They can genuinely care about the kids in their class and want nothing but good things for them but they also maintain that appropriate and professional distance.

Thank you!!! I can see saying this to early elementary kids but I would think that by middle school most kids would feel that their intelligence was being insulted by being told this by a teacher or Principal who doesn't even know them in a meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Principal at the middle school I teach at frequently tells students that he loves them, usually addressed towards all the students during morning announcements, but also on an individual level such as when dealing with discipline problems, such as "I love you, and don't want to see this behavior from you " He hasn't flat out required that the staff says it as well, but he stresses that it's important for kids to know that their teachers love them, and that some of them may rarely hear it from anyone else. He has also made remarks along the lines of "if you don't love your students, this may not be the right job for you " I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with telling my students that I love them. Yes, I care about them, and I believe that shows, but to me love is a strong word. And I really think it's inauthentic to use it towards someone that you really don't know that well. Keep in mind, this is middle school, we have classes of 30 students we see for 50 minutes a day. Also, I tend to think that middle schoolers are old enough to realize that their principal or teacher doesn't truly "love" them in a very meaningful way. Do other teachers also receive this implicit pressure to tell students that you love them?

I don’t see the problem with this that you apparently do.