Teachers, does your Principal encourage you to tell your students that you love them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take yourself back in time for when you were in elementary school. You are sitting there ready for another boring day and the teacher walks in with a loopy expression on her face. Before the lessons begin the teacher tries to make a sincere face and tells the class, "I love all of you, I really, really do. You are wonderful students, I love you. I love you!"

I don't know about you but the first thought I would think is that the teacher has lost her mind, or someone really did pee in her coffee. Even children know love isn't something given out like candy, it's emotional and deeper than that although children generally cannot express that insight yet.

Exactly, I don't ever remember hearing a teacher tell me she loved me, and I would have thought it was pretty strange if she did. Also, we're not talking about middle school students here, not elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take yourself back in time for when you were in elementary school. You are sitting there ready for another boring day and the teacher walks in with a loopy expression on her face. Before the lessons begin the teacher tries to make a sincere face and tells the class, "I love all of you, I really, really do. You are wonderful students, I love you. I love you!"

I don't know about you but the first thought I would think is that the teacher has lost her mind, or someone really did pee in her coffee. Even children know love isn't something given out like candy, it's emotional and deeper than that although children generally cannot express that insight yet.

Exactly, I don't ever remember hearing a teacher tell me she loved me, and I would have thought it was pretty strange if she did. Also, we're not talking about middle school students here, not elementary.

Meant to say, we're talking about middle school students, not elementary

[Anonymous]

So what if the kids don't buy into it? Seriously, so what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

Did your college professors tell you they loved you? How about your manager at work? We're not talking about preschoolers here.

Do you just really equate 11 year-olds with adults?

Your instructions are to go back and think about what you typed a little more and try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

The type of "love" you are speaking of is not genuine love, and most people above the age of 10 realize this.

So, this is a semantics debate. Not everyone places as much weight on the word as you do. In this case, it's the intention of the sentiment, not the vocabulary that matters. Stop being so literal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take yourself back in time for when you were in elementary school. You are sitting there ready for another boring day and the teacher walks in with a loopy expression on her face. Before the lessons begin the teacher tries to make a sincere face and tells the class, "I love all of you, I really, really do. You are wonderful students, I love you. I love you!"

I don't know about you but the first thought I would think is that the teacher has lost her mind, or someone really did pee in her coffee. Even children know love isn't something given out like candy, it's emotional and deeper than that although children generally cannot express that insight yet.

Except you took the interaction described and turned it into a caricature.

[Anonymous]

I am a middle school teacher (and mother) and use the word love with my students. Not, "Oh Jimmy I'm so in love with you." But, "Hey guys, I love you and want to see you succeed in life, stop acting like idiots in serious situations" I don't see an issue with it.

I've taught with middle school teachers who clearly DON'T care about the kids. The principal is right--whether they choose to say the L word or not, if there isn't an emotional connection to the kids, you shouldn't be a teacher. Relationships are EVERYTHING to a middle school student.

[Anonymous]

Creepy. Love is a loaded term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Creepy. Love is a loaded term.

Maybe seek therapy for your distorted view of the world.

[Anonymous]

How about walk the walk and not talk the talk?

As a parent, I want the school to do their best to meet my kids needs and abilities. I want more enrichment, more meaningful fieldtrips that are tied to units of study, less bullying and more afterschool clubs.

I would love to see the good teachers being retained. I would like to see disruptive students removed from classrooms and provided with the services that they need. No restorative justice BS.

That would be real love. I and my kid would then love the principal, staff and MCPS back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]So what if the kids don't buy into it? Seriously, so what?[/b]

It demeans them, undermines their intelligence, and makes them not take what the teachers/Principal says very seriously. Middle Schoolers don't want to be treated like babies, it's insulting to talk to them like Mr. Rogers would to preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were special and how he "loves" them just the way they are.

I coach a sports teams of young girls who are not my daughters. I "love" them and have told them this. Not in the same way I love my spouse or my children. It's just another way of expressing affection and care.

Some of you are too hung up on the word "love."

Everyone deserves to know they are loved. Why do you think so many people respond to religion and being told Jesus loves them?

There's nothing wrong with this. At all. We need more "love" in this world, and you cynical assholes who have a problem with this need to open your heart and stop being the problem with society.

Did your college professors tell you they loved you? How about your manager at work? We're not talking about preschoolers here.

Do you just really equate 11 year-olds with adults?

Your instructions are to go back and think about what you typed a little more and try again.

11 is the absolute minimum for MS, and yes, I would think 11 year olds would realize that their principal and teacher does not actually love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a middle school teacher (and mother) and use the word love with my students. Not, "Oh Jimmy I'm so in love with you." But, "Hey guys, I love you and want to see you succeed in life, stop acting like idiots in serious situations" I don't see an issue with it.

I've taught with middle school teachers who clearly DON'T care about the kids. The principal is right--whether they choose to say the L word or not, if there isn't an emotional connection to the kids, you shouldn't be a teacher. Relationships are EVERYTHING to a middle school student.

Same. I frequently use the word "love" with my middle school students, and so do other teachers on my hallway. Our kids respond very positively. I love my students just as I love my job and I love my fellow teachers and I love my school. The kids "get" what we mean. I believe it is why so many of our former students come back 1, 2, 5, 10, and 15 years later to see us and tell us what they've become!

[Anonymous]

One of the middle school teachers who tells her students she loves them back to say this:

Last year in January one of my favorite students, who admittedly was a frequent flyer problem child in our school, did something really knuckleheaded. It was a doozy. I was so upset when I heard about it and I went to where he was to speak with him about it. I was shaking when I got to where he was. I sat down and I said "I am so upset I don't even know what to say" and I asked him what he thought I should say. There was a long pause. Then he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and he said "You want to tell me that you love me and you want the best for me even though I did something really stupid."

It turns out that experience was the turning point for him. He didn't magically become perfect and he is still struggling to get on the right path. However, his being able to verbalize that I love him and that his other teachers love him has given him an inner strength that he is using to build his resilience when he encounters obstacles and challenges. I'll take that as a lesson learned well...for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the middle school teachers who tells her students she loves them back to say this:

Last year in January one of my favorite students, who admittedly was a frequent flyer problem child in our school, did something really knuckleheaded. It was a doozy. I was so upset when I heard about it and I went to where he was to speak with him about it. I was shaking when I got to where he was. I sat down and I said "I am so upset I don't even know what to say" and I asked him what he thought I should say. There was a long pause. Then he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and he said "You want to tell me that you love me and you want the best for me even though I did something really stupid."

It turns out that experience was the turning point for him. He didn't magically become perfect and he is still struggling to get on the right path. However, his being able to verbalize that I love him and that his other teachers love him has given him an inner strength that he is using to build his resilience when he encounters obstacles and challenges. I'll take that as a lesson learned well...for both of us.

Another middle school teacher responding. That story gives me chills. Thank you for cultivating that love and trust with your kids!